Psychotherapy without the Self - Essay Example

Psychotherapy without the self: a Buddhist perspective The Structure of No Structure "It is sometimes assumed that in health the individual is always integrated, as well as living in his own body, and able to feel that the world is real. There is, however, much sanity that has a symptomatic quality, being charged with fear or denial of madness, fear or denial of the innate capacity of every human being to become unintegrated, depersonalized, and to feel that the world is unreal." (Winnicot, from "Primitive Emotional Development," 1945) This phenomenon, in my opinion, can be best explained through Buddhist psychology. Buddhism psychology provides for a very unique way of looking at oneself. In my perspective, Buddhism psychology upholds the idea that as our self-awareness grows, we begin to consider ourselves, less important. This simply means that, as an individual, we first try to figure out what we are and who we are. But as we begin to discover more of ourselves, and we begin to understand and honor the presence of things and people around us, we become less of a person who is self-seeking but we are slowly being transformed to become self-giving. The more we enjoy the meaning of ourselves, the more we want to share it or give part of ourselves away. As we get to know each other more, it is much simpler to be generous to others, in almost everything. This is because of our increased sense of security, we have taken from our self-awareness. In my opinion, a person who is self aware, is less insecure. We become more comfortable even in unknowns spheres and parameters. We are no longer confined to restrictions and it becomes a need to share what we are and who we are. Buddhism or Psychotherapy invokes that the further we look at/into our selves the further we are perpetuating the notion of no self. No self basically means letting go of narcissistic notions and furthermore allowing oneself to become part of a bigger picture in the world. This may sound very paradoxical but this can be explained in several ways. For example, the more we are in touch with our senses, the better we perceive the senses of others. Our personal sensitivity becomes not just means to promote our own needs but also to meet the needs of others. Simple fact such as being sensitive to foul smell, we cannot just easily ignore it, because our senses can perceive it, at the same time we subconsciously know that others smell it too, thus we begin to "care" about others, and how they would perceive things. This is purely a function of departing from our own self. Such tendency allows us to discover our inner connection to the world and other beings. As Aristotle says, men indeed are social beings. We are born to form communities and relate with fellow beings. This way of looking at ourselves, will definitely bring us back to the essentials of becoming social beings. According to Mark Epstein, "What Buddhism teaches is that the connection, the ability to find intimacy or connection, is inherent within us, and that if we can just surrender back into that capacity for love, that is all of our birthrights--all babies are born with that; they instinctively love their caretakers. So if we can find that again, then our relationships will take care of themselves."(Epstein, 2005) Mark Epstein pioneered the Eastern teachings of non-self, something that is so different and new to the Western mind. Instead of the usual or traditional Western teaching of separation, individuality as the ultimate psychological goals of human development, he opted to create a theory that is based on connection. Through Buddhism, the idea of "self" becomes a part of a certain whole- which is the universe. Each soul or person becomes a vehicle of spirituality, common to all people. Thus, if we look deeper within ourselves, we find it natural to relate and connect with other people because there is something common amongst all of us, it can be the presence of a higher being within us, or simply the common kind of spirituality which has been present from the day that we were born. This explains Epstein's notion that, even as a child, or infant, if we are given kindness, there is nothing left for us to give back, but kindness. Despite the immaturity of our psychological development as infants, we welcome love and kindness, because intimacy and connection is something inherent within us. One of the early Westerners who came to appreciate Buddhism was Carl Jung. Although he saw so much relevance in Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy in general, he did not think that it would fit in the Western thinking, or practice, considering that it will include denial of their own history and ways. Although he believed that Eastern teachings are true, he found the need to think of ways on how to "westernize" such thoughts to make it fit in the Western perspective. Westerners would rather delve on the theory part of Buddhism and not much on its ideals as a religion. In a way, this approach was taken to make it more acceptable to the Western world. Considering that Buddhism as religion includes so much supernatural phenomenon like rebirth and reincarnation, devas and demons. These aspects of Buddhism definitely cannot be proven through physical science, something that is very important in Western ideals. Thus although such believes have some influence on Buddhism as a religion, it is not very necessary for a Western man, or any person for that matter to accept Buddhism as religion to fully understand the Buddhist approach in psychology. Buddhist psychology talks about liberation, how a certain being is freed from his own idiosyncrasies and own selfishness. It is interesting how Western psychologists managed to separate Buddhism's supernatural traits to its ideals. Considering that it was through such supernatural phenomenon that they came up with interpretation and understanding of "self" as such. Probably, this is mainly because, with or without plausible explanation, Buddhist psychology may stand alone. In a way, it promotes or supports a lot of old theories about the "person". It supports the idea of man being naturally good, instead of naturally evil. It also supports the idea of man being a social being. Therefore, it is universal, familiar, and provides some sense of assurance of a much better and acceptable interpretation of man, which is man being naturally good. And also, as Epstein mentions, Buddhist psychology teaches us to accept that men naturally seek for intimacy and connection, thus supporting the old and tested theory of men being social beings. It is very logical at the same time, interesting way of relearning the whole idea of man's social consciousness. This is the natural course of things, for men to connect and not isolate oneself. Not separation. As we look deeper, we begin to discover treasures that must be shared. That is why there is no room for emptiness in Buddhist psychology. It is all about sharing yourself to others while accepting those people who share their being "them" with you, there is no room for emptiness, because every little thing around, every little act of kindness is there to fill you up. Buddhism teaches no discrimination and to avoid being judgmental. This primarily applies to oneself. This teaches us to be patient with our own learning and be enthusiastic of what we are and who we are. In a way, this invokes the feeling of contentment. If we free ourselves from our personal biases and expectations, we will be freeing ourselves from unnecessary pressures in life. And by practicing such to ourselves, we begin to do so too to our fellow individuals. It is a natural phenomenon. A person who is hard on himself has the tendency to be hard on others too. Buddhism also teaches us that we are the source of our own suffering, and cravings. Our inability to let go of things makes us torture ourselves subconsciously. Indeed there are so many things in this life and world that are beyond our control. But we will always have full control over our reactions and the things that we intend to do after desperate moments. "I think Buddhism is very smart in the way that it, or the Buddha, was able to lay out the psychology in which the Buddha said that the origin of our suffering is our inability to let go; it's our clinging. Joseph Goldstein, one of my teachers, uses the example of a monkey trap that is widely used in India, where a small bamboo cage is built with bars that are just narrow enough that the monkey can slip his hand into the cage. Inside the cage is put some kind of attractive food, some kind of sweetmeat or something, and the monkey clamps down on the food, and therefore can't pull his hand out of the cage. So he is stuck there, and the hunters can come and take him away. But he is trapped only by his own craving. All he has to do is let go of the food, and he would be free again. That's the psychology of Buddhism--that we're all trapped by our own craving, and we have to learn how to let go."(Epstein, 2005) This does not teach us to be passive, rather, it teaches us to practice non discrimination. This teaching encourages us to level our expectations. This is so because we tend to treat others the way we treat ourselves. Acceptance is what Buddhist psychology invokes most of the time. As individuals, we are sometimes the most discriminating critic of ourselves. We see so much flaws, weaknesses, within us. And usually we manage our expectations through such ideals. "What they basically taught me was how to be with myself in a nonjudgmental way. They were giving me this great gift in a way, which was myself. Instead of pushing various aspects of myself away, I learned how to open to whatever was happening within me, to all the difficult feelings, and that gave me another way of dealing with my own sense of emptiness." (Epstein, 2005) Our Three Different Selves Buddhist psychology relates to three different selves: self as experience, self as representation, and self as system. Buddhist's view on selflessness relates to all three without excluding or emphasizing any single one (213). Self as experience allows for objective and subjective experiences. Meditation has made aware that there is an awareness which is can never be completely observed in the act of being aware, consciousness itself. However Experience itself in retrospect becomes an object in itself. So meditative efforts to observe awareness are constantly perpetuating the duality of subject and object, further removing us further from ourselves. "Self as experience reveals the presence of a self that can be never truly experienced; yet this self of awareness, is clearly an essential and vital aspect of who or what we are" (213). Through meditation, we begin to undergo a process of becoming one with ourselves. As we become one with ourselves, we begin to transcend from our original "self", because we are no longer outside looking it, but rather, an agent of our own consciousness, open to changes and intimacy with other beings. "Concentration meditation is perhaps the method most strongly etched in the public imagination. This is the form where the meditator focuses in on a single thing to the exclusion of all else. This could be a syllable or series of syllables chanted over and over as in a mantra, a religious image, the breath, or even a quality such as compassion or loving kindness. The object should be something healthy so that the effect of this concentration is to increase positive factors and diminish negative ones" (Hall & Lindzey, 1978, pp. 369-370) Winnicott describes meditation as radically reorganizing the concept of self as system. Where despite all of the influences the self has not been changed. It compares to someone who knows he is wearing sunglasses. Where the distorted color reminds him that he is wearing sunglasses and that what is perceived may not be real. In the end "nothing changes, and yet something is reorganized' and awareness fills the space between self observation and self identification (215). Western Psychology through Freudian Perspective and Buddhist Psychology Western Psychology such as Freud, gave so much importance on a person's development beginning childhood. "This is the period when an infant develops into a person (regardless of whether they are viewed as starting 'tabula rasa' or with genetic predisposition). In Buddhism there is a greater importance placed on death (esp. Tibetan Buddhism (Dalai Lama, 1994)), since the law of cause and effect (kamma,or 'action') determines how one moment conditions the next. Consequently, the moment of death is very important. This is an area where it is difficult to separate the psychology from the religion. A concept like 'tabula rasa' is totally unthinkable in a Buddhist context, since each child is born with an accumulation of kamma which will have a profound effect on their development."(Petifor,1996) Conclusion I tend to agree with the idea of Buddhist psychotherapy. The further I look into myself the more constantly I adjust. However, in Freudian psychology narcissism is the desire and energy that drives our instinct to survive, concerned with self-admiration, self-centeredness, and self regard. I feel that a narcissistic person would have a hard time filling their void with awareness versus clinging to the self. Buddhist Psychology has taught the West a unique way of looking at and giving importance to phenomological and personal experience. If ideals are based on empirical truth, it may be that the method becomes more important than the content which was discovered. Although this approach has not been totally absent in Western ways, it was not much practiced because of the need for Westerners to always back up their allegations with empirical data. Although Buddhist psychology seems to sound as if deducting the idea of self, it is very much strong and keen in pushing the idea of persons, connectedness and community- something that in my opinion we do need during these changing times. Overall, Buddhist perspective of psychotherapy encourages everyone to become selfless. It is only through self giving that we become more aware of who we are and what we can contribute to the society. It seems to not have structure, because of its outward approach. Disregarding the religious aspect of Buddhism, psychology wise, it is a more refreshing approach to self- development. It teaches us, that eventually we have to integrate ourselves to society. We cannot live for ourselves alone. We cannot seek for personal fulfillment in life solely. In the end, our fulfillment comes from the fact that we have contributed, or have given part of ourselves to the world. References: Goldstein, J., (1993). Insight Meditation: The Practice of Freedom. Boston: Shambhala. Jung, C.G., (1963). Memories, Dreams, Reflections. Aniela Jaff (Ed.). London: Collins and Routledge & Kegan Paul. Hall, C.S. and Lindzey, G., (1978). Theories of Personality, 3rd Ed. New York: John Wiley &Sons. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart, with Mark Epstein, 2005, Interview by Janet Goldstein, for Amazon.com retrieved from human-nature.com, 2009 Read More