Communication, Conflict, and Decision-Making - Essay Example

COMMUNICATION, CONFLICT AND DECISION-MAKING In the society, communication is the backbone of social and professional relationships. Through communication, people facilitate the low of information and ideas from one source to another. An ideal communication process requires the presence of a message sender and a message receiver (Stacks & Michael, 2008). People share their ideas and opinions through successful communication processes. For a communication process to be termed as successful, a message receiver should understand the content of the message according to the sender’s intention. This statement insinuates that some communication processes results in unsuccessful ends (Stacks & Michael, 2008). At this juncture, we will acknowledge that communication meets some barriers, which hinders effective delivery of information to the intended parties. Unsuccessful communication results in conflict of opinions or ideas among the involved parties. In communication, conflict results when there is a dissonance or incompatibility of ideologies and beliefs held by the parties involved. Although conflict may results in both negative and positive consequences, this social dissonance may enhance maturity of social skills among the involved individuals. Conflict management entails employment of mechanisms that facilitate development of positive consequences from a social disagreement. Effective conflict management exercises enhance learning among members of a society on how to handle incompatible opinions in future. Conflict management incorporates the aspect of decision making in solving an underlying problem. A conflict ends after one or both parties involved select the best course of action from the available alternative courses of action (James, 2009). From a theoretical perspective, conflicts form an inherent element in social relationship. Within any given social setting, people subscribe to different beliefs and values in life. Therefore, conflicts arise in any society comprising of members with varied philosophical patterns (Erich, 2011). Courtesy of cultural norms, individuals possess natural mechanisms meant to facilitate conflict resolution processes whenever a conflict arises. Effective communication forms the basis of conflict resolution mechanisms. It is through a health conveyance of information between two parties that a conflict reaches a positive end (Stacks & Michael, 2008). I applied some theoretical elements of conflict resolution in past social experiences unknowingly. As a student, I usually fall into conflict situations with friends and family members. In these encounters, I came to understand that conflict can be solved through application of some fundamental concepts of communication. Conflict involves expression of emotions and elevated stress levels. Therefore, application of positive communication skills facilitates the development of a positive solution in a conflict. Before striving to resolve any conflict, I usually acknowledge my role in the conflict and moves on to develop a satisfactory solution. In the communication process, I articulate my thoughts and ideas in a direct manner but avoiding developing a threatening atmosphere. During conflict resolution exercises, I acknowledge the thoughts and wishes on the other party through attentive listening. In addition, I am always willing to disclose information about myself and control expression of negative emotions like anger. The underlying case study involves a social conflict between me and my wife. My wife desires to acquire her PhD degree in the US. However, I hold a contrary desire because my wish is to relocate my family back to home. As a solution, my wife thinks that she can stay back in US and undertake her academic progress. However, I would prefer a situation where my wife to undertake a PhD program from a university back home. In the end, we were unable to arrive at a health decision on whether to go or stay in the US. Poor conflict resolution skills by me or my wife are responsible for the imminent deadlock at the end of the deliberative process. Effective communication strategies would enable development of a solution between us. In the first place, we should listen attentively to the ideas and thoughts postulated by each other. Attentive listening and acknowledgement of each other’s perception would promote the development of a caring climate between me and my wife. In this case, I realized that I am depicting a high degree of instrumentality during the process by striving to communicate with an objective in mind. I would like us to be close to their family back at home for the sake of our child. However, there is application of poor communication techniques because I do not acknowledge my wife’s interests but I keep insisting about returning home. Theoretical conflict resolution emphasizes the importance of engaging in either collaborative or compromise communications (James, 2009). In the case, neither I nor my wife directed his or her resolution process to a give and take situation. As a result of poor communication, we could not make appropriate decisions; hence failed to reach an agreement. Cultural Silos One of the most meaningful concepts in mental models is Cultural silos. This refers to a situation whereby an individual has limited social experience; hence his or her thinking spans around a limited scope of knowledge and experience. Cultural contexts and society in general serve as the leading teacher in an individual’s life. In this regard, social experience should enable one to learn the rules of handling a conflict situation. Conflict resolution entails acknowledgement of thoughts and ideologies held by others (James, 2009). Therefore, social experience allows one to learn of the various ideas and philosophies prevailing among members of a given social setting. During conflict resolution, limited social experience restricts an individual’s thinking. The element of ethnocentrism propagates application of the limited knowledge in subscribing to uninformed and ineffective decision making models. Ethnocentrism makes one to hold a strong opinion and trust on his or her own beliefs and philosophical principles. In order to carry out a conflict resolution exercise in an objective manner, one should acknowledge the role played by the concept of cultural silos in social relationships. Cultural silos prevent us from arriving at objective solutions because of the limited knowledge (Erich, 2011). As I said earlier, I find myself in conflict situations with my family members and my friends. One of a conflict is between me and my wife concerning our stay and her education in the US. This conflict situation demands application of an effective communication strategy in order to arrive at a positive solution. However, some of my conflict resolution exercises, like the conflict between me and my wife, have ended unsatisfactorily due to the influence of cultural silos. In the underlying context, I ended up withdrawing from a conflict communication because I perceived my wife’s ideas as strange and selfish. Based on my cultural perspective, those ideas held by my wife were new to me. In this context, I had limited social experience; hence could not contemplate on the ideals presented by my wife during communication. In addition, I had a strong conviction that my assumptions concerning the underlying issue were objective and could not be discredited by any third party. This constitutes the element of ethnocentrism. In this regard, the concept of cultural silos hindered the development of an effective communication process (James, 2009). Cognitive Dissonance The other meaningful concept which has found extensive application in my communication processes is cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance refers to the discomfort felt by an individual when there is a conflict between what that person knows and the principles brought about by new information. For example, when one person says something that is not consistent with another beliefs’, the later will perceive the new information as incredible. This concept of mental model presents some opportunities as well as some negative consequences during conflict resolution and decision making exercises. Based on this concept, everyone in the society has some knowledge concerning the fundamental elements of social life. In this regard, an individual is more likely to experience some discomfort whenever new information contradicts what he or she beliefs. In case of a cognitive dissonance situation, an individual reverts to some natural reflexive responses aimed at eliminating the discomfort. One response involves rejecting the new information. Rejecting involves discrediting the validity and reliability of the new information or belief system. In addition, an individual can choose to assimilate some elements contained by the new information, which are consistent to his or her own beliefs. One can also choose to accommodate or tolerate all the elements contained by the information. At the furthest end, one can decide to integrate all the new information into his or her life and start to apply them in daily undertakings (James, 2009). I have experienced numerous communication situations which resulted in cognitive dissonance. I am regularly involved in conflicts with my wife. In these conflicts, we discuss various family issues meant to address our family objectives. In this regard, Both I and my wife contributes equally towards developing a concrete solution. In the underlying case study, my wife presented her opinion regarding her PhD degree program. On the other hand, I expressed my interest on the importance of relocating back home. During the discussion process, I constantly disapproved of opinions presented by my wife. In one instance, I was thoroughly conversant with the cultural responsibilities of a man. On the contrary, my wife wanted creation of a situation which would amount to violation of these cultural norms. In this context, those ideas presented by my wife fell outside the scope of my cultural understanding. As a defense mechanism for cognitive dissonance, I rejected her expressions and stood firm on my position. Ladder of Inference The Ladder of Inference is the other significant concept in mental models. This concept outlines the procedures adopted during the deliberation and decision making process (Erich, 2011). Ladder of Inference acknowledges that the first step entails acquisition of data and information concerning an underlying problem. Upon acquiring the relevant information, one filters and selects data. Personal beliefs and values influence the process of filtering and selecting data. The concept acknowledges uniqueness of beliefs and values among members within an integrated social setting. Therefore, different people select different data and information. Beliefs and values also influence the succeeding step which requires adding meaning to the selected information. One adds meaning to information based on his or her beliefs pattern. After adding meaning to information, the next step involves drawing conclusions and assumptions. According to this model, one draws conclusions that are compatible with his or her own beliefs and social values. Therefore, conclusions made upon a deliberative decision making process may be subjective as one considers his or her own beliefs and social convictions when making those decisions (Erich, 2011). In my life, I have applied this concept in numerous occasions during communication and decision making processes. The underlying case serves as a perfect illustration of this model. This situation requires me to communicate opinions on my position concerning the issue of leaving my wife back in the US. It this point, I followed a systematic process in carrying out the deliberative process. I started by acknowledging facts on my responsibilities as a family man. Having accepted that I am suppose to be a sole provider, I moved to apply this understanding in formulating an alternative to the issue of having to leave my wife back in the US. After developing a comprehensive meaning, I concluded that we should relocate back home. My cultural beliefs influenced my decision on the best alternative course of action to take.. Ennegram Type Indicator Ennegram model serves to identify and describe an individual’s personality in social context. An individual’s personality emerges from childhood to with an inherent personality pattern that defines social relationship later in life. Personality influences the efforts exerted by an individual while trying to adapt into the immediate social environment. Ennegram model can identify and illustrate nine personality traits. An Ennegram questionnaire serves to depict the personality pattern applied by an individual in life (Erich, 2011). In its application, this tool acknowledges that one person could possess attributes of more than one personality trait. Therefore, an Ennegram test may produce scores comprising of more than one personality type. In such a case, one takes a combination of the highly scored questions in evaluating his or her personality. In this context, I undertook an Ennegram test which produced some results defining my probable personality type. Based on the test results, I scored highest in type 2 and typo 8 of the structure. I also scored highly in type 3. Therefore, I will strive to define my personality patter based on these scores. Type Two Personality In my social life, I have been defined by friends and family members as caring and charming towards others. With respect to an expanded model of type two personality in the Ennegram score, these individuals tend to be interested in personal affairs of other people in the society. They are focused in personal relationships and orientations to others. They are caring and always occupied with ensuring pleasurable things happen to others (James, 2009). Twos are genuinely committed towards providing support and assistance to close family members and friends facing problems. In this regard, I learned that I am generous and always striving to please others. In addition, Ennegram defines people with type two personalities as warm-hearted and well intentioned. These people possess extraordinary ability to feel the sorrows and tribulation of other. As a result, they do not hesitate to help and does so without being asked to. However, Twos possess substantial amount of pride, which produces a negative effect in their social relationships. Twos are always striving to please others. In a situation where they cannot achieve this goal, they revert to comforting themselves with pride. When in a conflict context, people with this personality are seductive and ingratiating during the communication process. At this juncture, I learned that I am caring and well intentioned in most of my social relationships. In addition, I tend to solve conflict situations by employing a substantial amount of seduction and flattering in communication. Type Eight Personality Based on the Ennegram test, I also scored highly in type 8 personality. Type Eight personality are purposeful and principles in all their undertakings. These people aim at getting the best results out of a downgrading situation. These people are self starters and self made in most attributes. They are usually interested in constructive activities and always strive to bring out strengths of other in the society. Eights are willing to make firm decisions and stand to solve the consequences resulting from those decisions. In addition, these individuals are independent and assertive either in professional or social responsibilities. Throughout their social experience, they have learned to fetch for themselves and possess a great deal of a can-do attitude. The attributes of assertion and independence makes them be self reliant in decision making processes and prioritize the pursuit of their own goals. Eights are persistent in their opinions and wants to be respected when they stand to affirm their ground (Erich, 2011). At this juncture, I learned of these attributes in my personality. Type Three Personality My second score in the Ennegram test is personality type 3. People with this personality type can be defined as achievers and performance oriented. They are competent in their professional undertakings. When in a healthy state, these people have the potential to achieve marvelous things either in their careers or in their interpersonal relationships. Because of their achievements in personal goals, society usually looks up to them for advice and support in community driven activities. Threes are mostly role models and tends to be influential in mentorship programs. Threes are also status conscious and always driven to accomplish status qualities set by social units like family. In this regard, individuals with this personality are occupied with efforts meant to secure them an esteemed position with respect to family and society’s expectation. Threes are also concerned about the success wellbeing of family members. As a father, an individual with this personality always strive to provide the best qualities to his children. They usually train their children to follow their steps in order to accomplish similar goals or achieve their greatest potential. Based on this personality account, I learned that I am achievement oriented even in situations involving conflict resolution (Erich, 2011). Evaluation of my personality types supplements information that supports the concepts in my mental models. With respect to mental models, I adopt some degree of cognitive dissonance and cultural silos during communication and conflict resolution exercises. Type three personality support the element of cognitive dissonance as postulated in the mental models. Achievement or success orientation prevents me from willingly subscribing to ideologies and information held by third parties. I am usually occupied with accomplishing my objectives with the information I have already gathered. In addition, type eight personality accounts for the cognitive dissonance element of mental models in my communication processes. Based on this personality type, I am supposed to be self reliant and independent in all my undertakings. Therefore, I will be swift in doubting or discrediting beliefs held by another person. Self reliance prevents me from encountering various social experiences. This is the reason why the element of cultural silos features in my mental model composition. Personality type two is responsible for the application of Ladder of Inference in my decision making exercises. According to this type of personality, I am always striving to please other people. Therefore, application of the inference ladder in making decisions facilitates accomplishment of this objective (James, 2009). At this step, we have acknowledged that people have different personality traits in the society. In addition, personality styles determine the processes employed during conflict resolution exercises. This means that everyone has a distinctive style of handling a conflict situation. Thomas Kilman instrument serves to identify the style employed by an individual when faced with a situation of conflict management (Erich, 2011). Thomas Kilman instrument identifies five different styles of conflict management. Scores on a 30 question tool rates an individual on the highest to the lowest style chances of applying a certain conflict management style. All these styles revolve around two elements which are assertiveness and cooperation during the conflict management exercise. Based on the test results that I undertook, I scored the highest in avoidance style. This insinuates that during a conflict, I tend to be uncooperative when trying to reach an agreement. High score on avoidance also shows that I am unassertive when making an expression during the resolution process (James, 2009). The second highest score was on collaboration style. Collaborative conflict management means that I am assertive and cooperative when developing a solution. As the third style, I scored 31 in both the compromise and competition styles. A relatively medium score in compromise style means that I show intermediate efforts in assertiveness and cooperativeness. Similar score in competition shows that I am persistent and assertive in making other adopt my opinions during conflict communication. On the other hand, competition signifies lack of cooperation. My lowest score involves the application of accommodative style in managing conflicts. Lowest score in this style means that I am les likely to apply in during conflict management. Based on a thorough analysis, this style means that those using it tend to tolerate ideas of others during a communication exercise. Accommodative individuals are unassertive and cooperative during a compromise creation process (Erich, 2011). The underlying case study involves a tight conflict between my interests and that of wife. We have not reached a compromise due to the different conflict management styles used by each one of us. On my part, I am persistent on my interest to take my family back home. In this context, I seem to apply competing style. In this case, I show no cooperation with my wife when it comes to leaving her back in the US. In fact, I am assertive in my position and on the importance of moving from the US. However, my wife adopts collaborative style. Based on her position and the reason or her stay, she is trying to cooperate with me in appraising the importance of acquiring her PhD degree abroad. Despite her cooperation, my wife is still assertive on her interest to remain in the US. The difference in assertiveness and cooperation levels accommodated by these two styles hinders development of an agreement between us. In order to reach an agreement, we should both be unassertive and cooperative. This requires adoption of collaborating conflict management style. Assertiveness will ensure that we listen to the opinions of the other while cooperation ensures establishment of an agreement. Too mush assertiveness without cooperation shifts the style to competition while too much cooperativeness without assertiveness shifts the equilibrium to accommodating. Collaborating style facilitates the development of an expanded range of alternatives while striving to achieve a win/win situation (James, 2009). Therefore, I and my wife should be cooperative and assertive in managing our conflict. From the Ladder of Inference, I learned that the decision making process during communication starts from the collection of literal data from an underlying situation. The ladder the narrows up to the conclusion stage through the data selection process and the addition of meaning to the assumption stage. From the ladder, I also learned that the drawing of assumptions and conclusions are an inherent part of life. Therefore, it is healthy to draw conclusions based on someone’s beliefs and convictions in life. The ladder of inference acknowledges that the actions resulting from conclusions are implicitly based on an individual’s beliefs. Therefore, the entire communication process derives its components from the procedures advocated for by the ladder (Stacks & Michael, 2008). The aspects of advocacy and inquiry facilitate development of informed choices during the decision making exercises. Advocacy, which entails making one’s thinking visible in the public domain, enables the testing of assumptions made for the elements of reliability and credibility. Inquiry, which entails an evaluative process directed towards the thoughts of others, facilitates the development of a contrast between ones’ thoughts and those of third parties. Strict inclination of these aspects in decision making processes enables the development of objective decisions (Stacks & Michael, 2008). Reference List James, A. S. (2009). Conflict Resolution: Theory, Research, and Practice. New York: SUNY Press. Stacks, W. D & Michael, B. S. (2008). An Integrated Approach to Communication Theory and Research. London: Taylor & Francis. Erich, K. (2011). Conflict and Decision-Making in Close Relationships: Love, Money, and Daily Routines. New York: Psychology Press. Read More