Womanhood and Sex in To His Coy Mistress and The Flea - Essay Example

Womanhood and Sex in “To His Coy Mistress” and “The Flea” “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell and “The Flea” by John Donne share a lot of similarities in their tone and theme. In both the poems, the imaginary speakers are in conversation with their imaginary girlfriends. Both the speakers are lustful, and trying to persuade their girlfriends to have sex. In the effort, the poets relentlessly try to make their girlfriends believe that having sex and losing virginity is not as horrible a crime as they feel. While Marvell fails to hide rudeness and cynicism in the effort, at times going violent and even threatening, Donne takes a more comfortable stance and engages in a persuasion that looks more thoughtful and less lustful than the former. In addition, while the communication of Marvell goes violent, restless, and more desperate, that of Donne seems more reticent and more peaceful. However, the element of conceit as evident in both cannot be neglected. “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell is considerably different from many other romantic poems. Though one can find romance as the underlying feeling, rudeness, lust and insincerity are the prominent tones along with persuasion. To begin with, the title of the poem reveals a lot about what the poet feels about the woman. He calls her “coy”. The word means ‘pretending to be shy’. Evidently, the poet indicates that his “mistress” is pretending to be shy, while, in fact, she is not (Bell 201). This behavior annoys the poet because he is eager to have sex with her. Thus, the poem begins with a begrudging and contemptuous tone. Thus, the restless poet starts with the claim that “Had we but world enough, and time/This coyness, Lady, were no crime” (1-2). That means as there is very little time, the coyness is a serious crime in the present situation. According to the poet, the problem with the present situation is that “But at my back I always hear/Time’s winged chariot hurrying near” (21-22). In other words, the poet indicates that they are going to die soon, and he wants to have sex before that. The irritation felt by the poet at the coyness of his mistress is evident from his insincere praise in the beginning. He says, “For, Lady, you deserve this state/Nor would I love at lower rate” (19-20). He indicates that he is ready to adjust with her coyness and continue pleasing her till eternity if there is enough time. He says he would spend “But thirty thousand to the rest; An age at least to every part” (16-17) so that she would finally “show your heart” (18). At this point, the poem is highly cynical and defamatory. The poet indicates that the woman has desire to do sex but she is pretending to be shy and reserved, and this distance annoys the poet. Being infuriated, he resorts to speaking about death, and points out that she would not be able to preserve her virginity after death as “worms shall try/That long preserved virginity” (27-28). The poet warns her that “Thy beauty shall no more be found” (25) after death. It is evident from this part that the poet does not believe in preserving virginity not listening to ones heart’s desires. In the opinion of the poet, the way to eternal life, or to defeat time and death, is sex (Schulze 4). So he invites her, “Let us roll all our strength and all/Our sweetness up into one ball/And tear our pleasures with rough strife/Through the iron gates of life” (40-44). What the poet meant by “the iron gates of life” is rather ambiguous. Either the poet is indicating that sexual union is the liberation of souls, and sex frees one from the boundaries of time, being eternal. Another explanation can be that he is inviting her to break free from her coyness or the social stigma associated with the sexual union and give wings to her heart’s desires. In either case, the poet believes that sex is a way to escape from time and reality. However, the poet seems to calm down by the end of the poem because he stops his insincere praise and persuasion, and says, “though we cannot make our sun/Stand still, yet we will make him run” (45-46). Admittedly, sun indicates time, and if sun goes faster, they will die soon. Therefore a possible explanation is that he is saying that sex will help them get rid of their boredom and melancholy as they will forget time while having sex. In a very similar fashion, John Donne in “The Flea” persuades his lover to have sex with him. Here, the poet resorts to comparing sex with the biting of a flea. He says, “It suck’d me first, and now sucks thee/And in this flea our two bloods mingled be” (3-4). From there, the poet starts his long and winding argument. He stops her from killing the flea claiming that the flea represents their marriage. He says, “This flea is you and I, and this/Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is” (12-13). Admittedly, the lust in the mind of the poet gives way to insincerity, and this makes the poet call the flea a “temple” in the vehement effort to woo the woman. The grudge deep inside the mind of the poet comes out through his words. No one except the poet himself is fully satisfied in this relation. He admits, “Though parents grudge, and you, we’re met/And cloister’d in these living walls of jet” (14-15). And he says, “Though use make you apt to kill me” (16). Admittedly, the poet is aware of the fact that the woman does not love him much. Therefore, he insists that she should not kill the flea that represents their marriage. If she kills it, she is committing three sins at the same time, suicide, killing, and sacrilege. However, as the woman kills the flea, the real conceit comes out. He comes to the point he was trying to prove. He says, ‘Tis true; then learn how false fears be/Just so much honour, when thou yield’st to me/Will waste, as this flea’s death took life from thee” (25-27). He says that the amount of honor she loses by having sex with the poet will be equal to the amount of life she has lost by killing the flea (Schulze 6). Admittedly, the poet has compared sex with the killing of a flea. In other words, according to him, losing virginity is no more important than killing a flea. The lustful and disgraced poet is engaged in a passionate effort to woo his girl to have sex with him. At times his tone is sentimental and persuading. In total, it becomes evident that both Marvell and Donne share the view that women are coy when it comes to having sex despite their inner desire to have the same. This coyness makes the poets feel irritated and restless. Being annoyed by the situation, the resort to lure their girlfriends by making them realize the fact that having sex is not a serious crime as the believe. Marvell is unable to hide the cynicism, and he says that he will be happy to continue praising his girlfriend for her qualities at the same time avoiding sex if there is time till eternity. He warns her that death is coming near and that she will lose her beauty and virginity in the tomb. In other words, he is telling her that preserving virginity has no practical purpose and sex will lead to the liberation of soul. In a similar fashion, but in a much subdued way, Donne resorts to persuasion. However, he does not express the violence and restlessness. Instead, through an example, he tell his girlfriend that having sex is no more a serious act than killing a flea. Works Cited Bell, Ilona. The Cambridge Companion to John Donne. Cambridge: Cambridge Uty. Press, 2006. Print. Marvell, Andrew. “To His Coy Mistress.” Donne, John. “The Flea.” Schulze, Daniela. John Donne-the Flea and Andre Marvell-To His Coy Mistress. Norderstedt: GRIN Verlag, 2008. Print. Read More