California Should Have Stricter Divorce Laws - Essay Example

Init, ID Semester] California Should Have Stricter Divorce Laws Check any California newspaper, yellow pages, or search engine and you will find hundreds of advertisements offering low cost, easy, and quick divorces. Marriage, traditionally an institution whose function was to protect the family, has come under assault by laws that have made divorce as easy as selling an automobile. However, until recently divorce has been difficult to obtain and many of society’s views on divorce were rooted in religion. In 1970, California led the way to making divorce easier to obtain with its revolutionary no-fault divorce process. Since that time, divorce rates have soared and today as many as 50% of all California marriages end in divorce. This skyrocketing number of divorces has resulted in greater numbers of children being separated from one of their parents and cast into an uncertain future. More importantly, California has made divorce such an easy process that it now suffers from a culture of divorce that is void of personal commitment, places career and finance ahead of relationships, and needs to be reformed to make divorces in California a more deliberate process. A major breakdown in marriage that is caused by easy divorce is the breakdown in the trust and commitment that a couple needs to exist as equal partners. This breakdown begins way before a problem in the marriage surfaces. The easy dissolution of a marriage dilutes the traditional marriage vows and leaves them as little more than a casual agreement. When both spouses live with the anxiety created by the knowledge that the marriage can end at any time, and for no good reason, couples are less likely to invest in their relationship. They may be more reluctant to invest in property or children. A difficult, and more thoughtful approach, to divorce could help restore the belief necessary to remove the uneasiness of living with the thought that your spouse is in no way contractually bound to the you. I think it would also be a significant sign to the children that commitment, promises, and sacred vows have a purpose. It is generally held true that children suffer the most in a divorce. Initially they are impacted by the separation from one of their parents and a confused notion that it may have been their fault. Divorced couples that I have known have greater financial problems that directly impact the children. These parents sharing custody, or with single custody, find less time to involve themselves in the child’s life. The child may participate in fewer outside the home activities and have less connection with their social environment. I dont believe that remarriage and step-parenting can ever replace the bond of the biological parents in the minds of the children. These difficulties will follow the child through their life and result in alienation and very little faith in the institution of marriage. While children are taught that commitment has less value in a relationship than the convenience of easy separation, the easy divorce laws reinforce the idea in the minds of adults. Making a career choice or a wish to make a geographical move may break up a marriage. If personal fulfillment outweighs the trust that the partner has invested in the relationship, the jilted spouse will be left with the haunting fear of intimacy. They have come into the institution of marriage with uncertainty and leave it with the certainty of mistrust and betrayal. I think that these issues could be addressed by making the laws on divorce stricter in its requirements that lead into the legal finalities. I think stricter laws on divorce would help insure that the intent of marriage is not at the mercy of whimsical personal preferences. Often, these career or personal preferences are a short-term divergence outside the relationship. They may offer a future that appears to be rosier than it will eventually be. Thoughts of infidelity may wane with time, counseling, or reexamination. However, a quick and easy divorce eliminates any possibility of deliberation. Short-term financial difficulties are often at the heart of relationship problems. Yet, few of the victims of divorce have any hope of improving their situation through the action of divorce. In most cases, it will only make the problems more intense and with fewer opportunities for solutions. These quick decisions, made with false hope of eliminating a temporary problem, could be tempered by instilling the contractual nature of marriage and eliminating the easy out of a quick divorce. Because marriage is a contract, certain ethical issues arise when one party decides to end the marriage. These issues make their way into our culture and manifest themselves in many negative forms in society. As opposed to most business agreements, there does not have to be evidence of wrongdoing on the part of either party to terminate a marriage contract. In fact, the initiating party will be no more penalized than the partner who has decided to be loyal to the agreement. The ease and expedience of processing a divorce on the part of the courts creates a friendly atmosphere, which makes it simple to violate the ethical concerns of a contract. Under current law, it is easier to get rid of a spouse than it is to sell a house. When selling a house, the law demands full disclosure on its condition, a fair appraisal by an expert, and mandates any needed repairs. A marriage, however, can be discarded without consultation, evaluation, or attempt at reconciliation. Few, if any other contracts in society are less binding than marriage under our current divorce laws. This lack of ethical treatment of the marriage contract erodes our sense of right and wrong and desensitizes us to the high value that should be placed on relationships. Becoming alienated to the world around, with little trust in relationships will inevitably result in a restless and anxious attitude toward life. Living with the knowledge that your marriage could end at any time can’t help but create an unsettled feeling about the security offered by life. With laws that facilitate an easy divorce, couples enter into the marriage with the perception that it is may be only temporary. This perception exacerbated by the feeling of insecurity, feeds jealousy and suspicion. The lack of trust in your spouse’s commitment may lead the couple down the road of self-fulfilling prophecy. If either of the partners want to end the marriage, current laws make it almost impossible to hold it together by the other mate. Current laws that provoke a distance between marriage partners will ultimately arouse some issue in the marriage that may not have existed under a system of more difficult separation. There can be no doubt that California’s easy divorce laws have contributed to the culture of divorce and the agonies it brings with it. The skyrocketing divorce rate has created generations of children pushed into financial hardships and deprived of the time of both parents. Many of these single parent families will become a financial burden to the rest of society, with the children perpetuating their parents’ mistakes due to lack of skills in nurturing a loving relationship. So long as the law’s attitude towards marriage is one of casual neglect, couples will continue to enter into the marriage contract with trepidation and insecurity. If one of the mates gets a whim, or the couple has a short-term difficulty, the marriage can be dissolved without the aid of professional intervention, deliberation, or careful thought. We should treat a marriage contract with at least the same amount of binding promise that we treat other contracts in our society. Until the California divorce laws are reformed, I believe that we will continue to see marriages that are alienated, children who are displaced, and the traumatic effects of a skyrocketing divorce rate. Read More