What Does It Mean to Be a Good Listener - Assignment Example

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A GOOD LISTENER? Student Name Course name Date What does it mean to be a good listener? Introduction Listening is the first communication skill that we undertake the moment we are given come into existence. According to the American Communication Association (2008), the International Listening Association describes it as the process that entails receiving, constructing a meaning from, and subsequently responding to the spoken and/or the non-verbal messages. Listening well is as significant a means of influence just as speaking well, thus very essential skill to every true conversation1 On the other hand, despite listening being our first communicative behaviour, it is argued to be our most under-developed communication skill. Nonetheless, since we are not able to shut our auditory insights, it is easy to believe that we are always in a state of listening. This is because individuals possess the ability to give the impression that they are listening when they are in reality just hearing. This particular paper therefore intends to discuss what it means to be a good listener. According to Agarwal (2012), for one to be termed as a good listener he/she ought to always be very attentive to whatever is being put across by the speaker, or else he/she may not be able grasp the message being conveyed by the speaker. Being attentive as a quality of a good listener means that the individual listening is always sure to maintain a direct eye contact with the speaker for most of the time while also ensuring that he/she does not interrupt what the speaker is saying, and even more showing an interest in whatever is being communicated. Being attentive also means that the listener is always sitting still while occasionally nodding his/her head and leaning towards the speaker2 Additionally, being attentive also imply that the listener is repeating instructions and asking appropriate questions when the individual speaking has finished (Ahuja & Pramila, 2007). Lastly, attentiveness as a quality of a good listener is also displayed by a listener’s observance of both the speaker’s non-verbal and verbal signs such as posture and facial expressions in order to get the full meaning of what the individual speaking is putting across. Doing all these things demonstrates to the individual speaking that the listener is paying attention 3 The second quality of a good listener is that he/she possesses the power of retention. As Agarwal (2012) highlights, a good must be an individual who has the ability to retain or remember whatever is being conveyed by the speaker. If he/she fails to recall the message conveyed by the speaker, then this will imply that the effective communication process is blocked since in such a situation he/she will not be in a good position to provide a feedback especially in a situation where the speaker is asking question. A listener’s answer when asked a question is capable of showing whether he/she was listening or not. The ability to retain whatever is being communicated by the speaker therefore forms one of the significant qualities that make a good listener4 The third quality of a good listener is that he/she thinks positively and is open-minded. According to Agarwal (2012) this implies that the listener always listens to other individuals with an open mind and not refuting others arguments. He/she is a neutral listener. This provides the listener with safety for self disclosure as well as an exchange of emotional (sensitive) states. He/she is therefore careful of making judgments or stereotypes that may block openness. In general, as a positive thinker or one with an open mind, a good listener always puts himself or herself in the other individual’s shoes in as far as understanding how they feel is concerned, while also not allowing himself/herself to be consumed with their difficulties5 According to Ahuja & Pramila (2007), the fourth quality that makes an individual to be termed a good listener is determining one’s reason for listening. Ahuja & Pramila (2007) is of the view that a number of the most used social models that assist us in listening are dysfunctional in most situations. For instance, a television lawyer pays keen attention to mistakes, irrelevancies, admissions, and thereafter triumphs to the delight of the court audiences. In this case, the importance is placed on the analytical skills as well as the determination of the witnesses’ actual motives. Nonetheless, in most real life social situations, the participants are not often hostile witnesses; as a result to view others as opponents creates obstacles to good listening6 The fifth quality that makes a good listener is that he/she knows the significance of listening while also motivated to listen at the same time. However, According to Ahuja and Pramila (2007), even though one may not be in a position to alter another individual’s general mental capability, one is able to improve his/her listening skills by being encouraged or motivated to listen. On the other hand, Ahuja and Pramila (2007) highlights that the significance of motivation towards good listening cannot be overstated bearing the fact that a large number of most professionals’ time are spent in listening and this involves high level of energy as well as patience7 Being meaning-oriented instead of message-oriented forms the sixth vital quality that identifies a good listener. As Ahuja & Pramila (2007) highlights, a good listener always keeps asking himself/herself what the message the speaker is conveying to them means. He/she does not catch the words but puts more effort to understand or grasp the meaning of the words as visualized or pictured by the person speaking and not as pictured or visualized by his/her own imagination.8 The seventh quality that makes a good listener is patience. According to Agarwal (2012), what differentiates a good listener from a poor listener is the fact that a good listener listens to the speaker with patience, and in so doing, making the communication more effective. As a good listener a good stock of patience, self-control and tolerance are important. Good listeners are thus known to avoid providing any sign that whatever the speaker is conveying is either pleasing or displeasing them9 In most cases, good listeners are known to not to give judgments before all facts is laid in.Critizing or moralizing often puts the person listening on the defensive. Even if the listener is not arguing back, he/she will start editing what he/she is saying so as to win the listeners’ approval. This restraint is argued to be very important since the speaker always looks for facial or verbal signs that tip off him/her on whatever the listener wants. Patience is thus a significant quality that identifies a good listener (Agarwal, 2012). According to the Management Study Guide (2008), the eighth quality that can be used to describe a good listener is the ability to listen to the feelings and facts. A good listener purposely listens to the speaker’s feelings. The listener concentrates completely on the facts conveyed by the speaker while also evaluating them objectively. He/she is always sympathetic and active. In short, a good listener is always projective (i.e. he/she tries to always understand the speaker’s views) and empathic (i.e. he/she concentrates not just on the surface meaning of the conveyed message but also tries to deeply analyze the speaker’s emotions and feelings)10 The ninth quality argued to make a good listener is evaluation. As Agarwal (2012) highlights a good listener is known for his/her ability to evaluate various facts and data conveyed by the speaker. First, he/she makes a deliberate effort to give the speaker an opportunity to express his/her thoughts as well as views. He/she therefore tries to learn from the speaker by mainly focusing on the content of the speaker’s message, and thereafter evaluates whatever ideas the speaker conveyed during his/her spare time11 Lastly, a good listener can also be identified by the fact that he/she makes comments as well as answering questions. As highlighted by TWU Counseling Center (2008), a good listener often makes comments regarding the subject being discussed on many occasions when the speaker makes stops or pauses. If the speaker talks about something he/she finds unclear, a good listener is in this case known to ask questions in order to acquire more information. Such questions make the listener an active as well as an interested learner12 Conclusion From the above discussion, what is clear is that the ability to communicate without any form of misunderstanding ought to be the most significant requisite of a good communication. Listening is highlighted above as probably the most significant skill since it is not a one-way process but a two-way exchange process whereby both the speaker and the listener get involved. The individual listening doesn’t passively listen to the speaker but has to grasp the ideas conveyed and thereafter respond as required. What makes a good listener as highlighted in the discussion therefore include attentiveness, the power to retain the message conveyed, positive thinking and being open-minded, being able to determine one’s reason for listening, knowing the significance of listening, being meaning-oriented instead of message-oriented, patience, the ability to listen to the speaker’s feelings and facts, ability to evaluate various facts and data conveyed by the speaker as well as occasionally making comments and answering questions from the speaker. References Agarwal, M, 2012, Business Communication, Krishna Prakashan Media, Retrieved on July 19, 2012 from Ahuja, G.C & Pramila, A, 2007, How to Listen Better: Communication skills, Sterling Publishers Pvt. Ltd American Communication Association, 2008, A competent Listener, Retrieved on July 19, 2012 from http://textcommons.org/node/112 Management Study Guide, 2008, Effective Listening Skills - An essential for good communication, Retrieved on July 19, 2012 from TWU Counseling Center, 2008, How to be a Good Listener. Read More