The Isolating Effect of Social Media - Essay Example

9 December Social Media – Are We Isolating Ourselves? The effect of social media on relationships is paradoxical. On the one hand, it has brought us closer to anyone we want, and on the other hand, it has made us so confined to our desktops that we rarely meet these people face-to-face. We are increasingly at risk of living in a “bubble” world due to social media and electronic communication. This is because electronic media and social networking gives us three things, or “gratifying fantasies” as Sherry Turkle puts it in her talk at TED2012 (“Connected, but alone?” n.p.). These three fantasies are, one – that we can pay attention to what we want, two – that we know that we will always be heard, and three – that we will never be lonely. For instance, when in class or in a meeting, we have control over what and whom we want to pay attention to because of access to instant messaging and social networking through which we can discretely communicate. We know that we will always be heard because we post online through statuses and texts and get responses all the time. We never want to alone and so, for instance when we are alone waiting in queue at a bank, we can simply text, call or network via the phone and know that we are not alone. However, through social media, we may end up “hiding from each other, even as were all constantly connected to each other”, live in our own bubble (“Connected, but alone”). This is because, as Turkle points out, people want total control over how they conduct themselves (Connected, but alone”). We can edit our messages, statuses, instant messages, before posting or sending them. She says that people now prefer to text rather than talk, they would spend an evening on social media rather than go to a pub with friends. In the process, we are ending up isolating ourselves. Social networking has both positive and negative effects on human relationships. Although on the one hand it is putting us at risk of living in a bubble, isolated, it is also making it easier to access and stay in touch with our loved ones. Research, such as that by Lloyd et al. has suggested that Facebook has a negative impact on social relationships among students and enables them to avoid direct contact so they can isolate themselves (Vladlena 7). Furthermore, evidence also suggests that social networking serves as a distraction, thereby affecting academic life (Vladlena 7). Social networking is hampering the very development of our ability to understand social cues. For instance, an article by the New York Times points out that today’s youth are missing out on experiences which help in understanding emotional nuances, develop empathy and read social cues like body language and facial expressions (Stout para xvi). This is because we develop these cues when we actually have face to face conversations. The expressions we make, the times we become speechless, the times we stutter, the times we fumble with words, these are the moments that make us understand people and come closer to them. By communicating on social media and through instant messages, we are missing out on all these cues. The ability to communicate online has also made it easy for people to bully or harass others which they may not have done if they had to do it face to face (Stout para xvi). Stefana Broadbent however, in her talk at TEDGlobal 2009 argues that the internet and electronic media has actually enabled intimacy (“How the Internet enables intimacy” n.p.). She argues that in earlier days, people were so used to staying out of touch with loved ones when they left for office or were at school, etc. Now, we have the ability to call our loved ones even when we are away from them. It has only brought us closer by allowing us to communicate when circumstances separate us from people in our personal sphere. She cites data from sociologists that an average person on Facebook may have over a hundred friends but has two-way exchanges with only about four to six of them. She also says that 80% of calls are made on an average of four people and on Skype, it is just two. She says that we use social media to communicate with those who are the closest to us. For instance, a couple staying away from their family actually has a regular event of dining together on a webcam. A mother who is at work could steal some time away to check on her kids, and so on… Social media has enabled us to communicate on a mass scale and with a large number of people in limited time, and has also led to emergence of public uprisings such as the Arab Spring. Therefore, social media’s effect on relationships is paradoxical as it has brought us closer to people and at the same time it has developed a preference for isolating ourselves. Because we communicate largely through text on social media, by spending a large portion of our communication time on it, we are depriving ourselves of face-to-face communication. As Turkle points out the case of an 18 year old body who said to her, “Someday, someday, but certainly not now, Id like to learn how to have a conversation” (“Connected, but alone?”n.p.). The boy she spoke about is used to texting for almost everything. Turkle argues that people who are very used to social networking and electronic communication are scared of having a conversation because it takes place in real time and people cannot control what they are going to say, while social media enables them to edit, delete and modify what they want to say, thereby giving them the ability to “retouch, the face, the voice, the flesh, the body -- not too little, not too much, just right”. Asghar also contends in his article on Forbes that these days young people are very proficient in social media and technology but are weak in face-to-face human contact skills (para x). He also adds that neuroscientists are highly concerned with such a development because if one does not exercise his ability to connect fact to face, he will eventually start lacking the basic biological capacity for it. Psychologists such as Broder point out that youth is finding it much easier to communicate online than in person, implying that youth who have problem in relating socially have found social media as a new way to avoid learning social skills, which is harmful for them (Graham para xi). The effect of social media on the ability to have a face-to-face conversation is bad. This is because the basic feelings and emotions we develop with each other depends largely on how we converse with each other and understand each other through non-verbal cues. It is true that social media has made it easier for us to communicate things which we cannot through face-to-face conversations. For instance, a child may find it easier to write about a personal problem to his friends or elders than to sort it out face to face. Moreover, social media and electronic communication has made it easier to stay connected to a much larger number of people through informational linkages than is possible through traditional face-to-face conversation or telephone (Al-Deen and Hendricks 164). However, the importance of face-to-face communication cannot be undermined because good communication skills are vital in almost every sphere of life, be it managing people and relationships at work, home or institution. It can thus be concluded that social networking and electronic media have on the one hand made it easier to communicate with loved ones while at the same time increasing our preference to non-face-to-face interaction. This is because it gives a sense of control over the communication while at the same time enabling us to choose what and whom we pay attention to. Therefore, we are much at risk of living in isolation, in a bubble world. High social media usage also diminishes the ability to interact face-to-face and to understand social non-verbal cues. Therefore, it has both advantages and disadvantages and its use should be treated with caution and maturity. Works Cited “Connected, but alone”. TED2012. Video. Web. . “How the Internet enables intimacy.” TEDGlobal 2009. Video. Web. . Al-Deen, Hana & John Hendricks. Social Media: Usage and Impact. Maryland: Lexington Books, 2012. Asghar, Rob. “Organic Communication In A Hi-Tech Age: How To Keep iDisorders From Spoiling Your Career Skills.” Forbes April 25, 2013. Web. . Graham, Regina. “Psychologist: Social Media Causing A ‘Distancing Phenomena’ To Take Place.” CBSDC April 16, 2014. Web. . Stout, Hilary. “Antisocial Networking.” The New York Times April 30, 2010. Web. . Vladlena, Benson. Cutting-Edge Technologies and Social Media Use in Higher Education. Pennsylvania: IGI Global, 2014. Read More