The Gender Roles of Parents - Essay Example

College The Interview Guide. (31-year-old female, Mrs. Sam and I) Interviewer: Good morning Interviewee: Good morning Interviewer: How is your family doing? Interviewee: My family is great. We are all doing fine. Interviewer: How many kids do you have and their ages? Interviewee: Well, my husband and I have two kids. An eleven-year-old boy Bill and Marie is the youngest. She is seven. Interviewer: Explain to me what the relationship of your family is. Interviewee: The relationship in our family is generally open and we share a lot. We spend as much time as possible together. We ensure to keep no secrets amongst us and really, communication is the key. Interviewer: That is great. Well, the purpose of this interview is for you to tell me the roles you and your husband play in the family and the differences of your roles with respect to gender. We will not take long, thirty minutes at most. Interviewee: Okay, that is good enough. Interviewer: So tell me the roles your husband play in the family and in parenting Interviewee: Sam my husband plays a role in providing for the family. He works to provide though he is not the sole provider. We help each other with finances. When it comes to parenting, Sam is so supportive. He helps take care of the kids and shows his love. He spends time with them to know what is going on in their lives. He checks their homework almost every night. He also protects us as a whole. Well, that is an important role, a man should play and he does it well. He also listens to them and advices them on the right choices. We both advise the kids but he advises Bill mostly. I tend to think it is a man-to-son talk. Interviewer: Elaborate your roles as mother and wife of the family Interviewee: Being a mother and a wife and at the same time being woman with a job is not little to handle. It calls for remaining organized in all I do. As a wife, I ensure to support my husband in all he does and to help him in making decisions for the family. I also help in providing for the family. I pay half the bills and mostly sort out the usual things such as groceries. When it comes to parenting, I support the children and ensure they are comfortable with everything that goes on in both school and at home. I am always first; to get up and prepare all of them for work and school then I get ready myself. I think love is the key to ensuring the kids are free to speak and share thoughts and experiences. Marie comes to me a lot to talk and it is enjoyable. Interviewer: Describe the differences in roles between you and your husband Interviewee: The roles of a husband and wife can never be similar. None of us can replace the other. We both provide but parenting roles are different. The role of the father is to shape the kids, protect them, care and provide direction. I on the other hand provide love to the children to ensure they feel comfortable in both school and home. I also ensure they are healthy and active in other areas of life. Interviewer: Over the years, do you see a difference in the roles of the parents in relation to gender, and how are these differences? Interviewee: I have not been married many years but I agree there are changes over the years in the roles of the man and woman in the family. Before, providence and decision making was for the man to handle and the mother played a less significant role in the family issues and choices. However, today mother and father share at almost a ratio of half-and-half. Interviewer: As we conclude, describe whom the kids turn to and for what reasons. Interviewee: The kids are very free with both of us but Bill turns to his father most times while Marie turns to me more often than not. Interviewer: We will end at that. Thank you for your time and cooperation. I hope I did not take much of your time. Interviewee: No, you are welcome. I enjoyed it. The Analysis Notes from the interview I interviewed a mother of two children with a husband in person. Bill an eleven-year-old boy and Marie a seven-year-old girl, were their children. She explained to me the different roles that her husband played and her roles to in the family, including how the children respond to these roles by their parents. From the interview, I learnt that both parents in a family setting play a major role in parenting and their roles differentiate due to their gender. The roles that a father plays are very different as compared to the mother’s roles. The children require both the father and mother figure in order to grow on both ends. The father plays a role in providing for the needs of the family, providing protection for the rest of the family and giving support based on what the decisions and ideas of the children and his wife are. The mother figure on the other hand is very vital, as a mother is always all round. From the interview, the mother figure explained that she is always the first to get up in the morning and prepares both the kids and the husband for school and work respectively. She also works to help the husband meet the needs of the whole family. Her role is mainly to show motherly love, which is important for the children to feel appreciated and belonging to the family. She explained that both the husband and her help each other in matters that involve instilling discipline in the children. Their two children of different sexes could not be disciplined or advised in the same way as a girl needs advice from mostly a mother and a boy requires more often than not, his father’s advice. The children turn to both parents, when it comes to their needs especially support on for example school matters, the interviewee told me. However, issues that are only discussable between a mother and a daughter or a father and a son are respectfully in that manner. The interviewee also stated that openness and good communication skills are what ensure a family stays in order. She also explained that a father’s role is irreplaceable by a mother’s role and vice versa. That is why children from single parented families are different from children from families with both parents. Adolescent mothers relationship with their childrens biological fathers: social support, social strain, and relationship continuity- a book by Christina Gee, shows the different roles parents play due to their gender. After the interview, I concluded that gender differences play a role in the influence one has in the society. In the family setting, as seen, the father and the mother play very different roles when it comes to parenting. They both contribute to the growth of their children in different ways, as a father and mother. The Father is always the head of the family and plays a major role in providing for the entire family. The wife supports him in this role and ensures the husband does not strain. From the interview, interactions of the interviewee with people of both sexes showed that in some families, the parents do not assist one another in fulfilling their roles. For example, over the years, the role of a wife has also become to provide for the family. Before, men as the heads of the family supported their families financially on their own. Today, things are different and both a husband and wife assist each other on the role of providing for the family’s needs. Kane John in his book - The Changing Roles of Father and Mother in Contemporary American Society, proves that time changed different things on the roles of parents. She also explained that as time went by, women acquire more power in the family and are no longer inferior. Before, men could make decisions on their own without necessarily consulting their wives. However, today, the decisions made in a family come about after the two, man and wife discuss and agree on what to do. This way, the children learn to respect both parents. Boys do not ignore their mothers simply because the dad makes most decisions. This collaboration over the years improves families and ensures everyone’s opinions count even the children’s ideas count. The roles that remain unchanged include the father’s role to provide protection for the family and to care for them as well as to advise and discipline the kids. The mother’s roles that remain the same include supporting the husband and the children, to show love and concern, to discipline and advice them just as well as a father does. The discrimination that existed on the women’s side is no longer there and as time goes by, the roles of both parents with respect to their gender, improves. Wood Julia in book- Gendered lives: Communication, gender and culture explains that the roles of women and men are different and dependent on their gender. The role of a father except providence is to show his support to the wife and children. The wife could have ideas and different opinions on things. As the head of the family, he should listen, give his opinion and agree to support the wife if the choice involved is good. Supporting the kids is also very vital. A father’s say on the choices a child makes, is very important to the child. The child needs to feel supported and advised in the right direction for instance in school activities. This is part of fathering. The Changing Faces of Fatherhood - a book by Demos John explains that the role of the father changed over the years. A mother on the other hand shows unconditional love to the kids and supports them in difficulties. The love of a mother as compares to a father’s love is very different. A mother’s love to her children makes them feel that they belong to their particular family. It enables the children to become open and friendlier to their parents than usual. With time, the kids become fond of their parents and understand them as well. A mother acts as a channel of communication in the family. She is all rounded and involved in everyone’s business due to her love. The father also plays a role in protection of the family. The role of protection only belongs to the father figure in the family because of the fact that he is a man. In protecting his family, the father ensures there is no danger either direct or indirect on his wife and children. At the same time, he teaches his sons how to behave as the man figure in the family setting in order to provide protection. He ensures that the men in the house even in his absence protect the girls and women. The women’s role on house issues and performing duties remains over the years. A mother more often than not, cooks for the family, does the cleaning and ensures the house stays clean and tidies the children if they are little. The man does help in few cases but this major role is the mother’s role. Mothers know that their mornings start early and their evenings end late because they play a role in the house to ensure things are right and well done. The father does help for instance to ensure the children complete their homework and eat well as the mother does the rest. Both parents ensure they cover a child’s life in all areas. The children require fun weekends and the father and mother should plan for such things taking into consideration their jobs too. The mother should not be alone to handle all the issues of the children because parenting is a two-way thing. In the interview I learnt, the husband and wife should to support each other to avoid one of them feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. The kids should realize that they require both parents and that each of them plays a very significant role. An article by Amanda- Is It a Mothers Role to Just Exist and a Fathers Role to Shine?, explains that the two parents have roles to play on the family and that the world changes daily, so do the roles. None of the two parents is inferior, due to their gender; they play a role each and need each other. In conclusion, it is clear that the gender roles of parents are different and will always be due to the importance each plays as either a father or a mother in a family setting. Both need each other for themselves and the children. References Wood, J. T. (2005). Gendered lives: Communication, gender and culture. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth/Thompson Learning. Kane, J. J. (October 01, 1950). The Changing Roles of Father and Mother in Contemporary American Society. The American Catholic Sociological Review, 11, 3, 140-151. Gee, C. B., & Rhodes, J. E. (January 01, 2003). Adolescent mothers relationship with their childrens biological fathers: social support, social strain, and relationship continuity. Journal of Family Psychology: Jpg: Journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (division 43), 17, 3, 370-83. Amussen, Susan D. (1988). An Ordered Society. Gender and Class in Early Modern England. Oxford, England: Basil Blackwell. Demos, John (1986). "The Changing Faces of Fatherhood." Sax, L. (2005). Why gender matters: What parents and teachers need to know about the emerging science of sex differences. New York: Doubleday. Read More