Business Communication - Coursework Example

In an email situation, long supporting arguments appear as rambling to the recipient, which leads to loss of interest. The writer uses a casual tone in describing his daughter’s reaction in an official email. Use of a casual tone in official emails undermines the importance of the email to the recipients. Since the writer needs the recipients to make a supportive decision, using the daughter’s reaction is not advisable in this form of writing. At some point in the email, the writer discusses the daughter’s opinion on the main subject of the email, which is inappropriate in email writing.

In a persuasive email, the recipients care about the opinion of the sender not what other people think about the opinion. The writer’s arguments should be on his own thoughts and ideas as opposed to those of his daughter. The writer uses poor grammar in communicating to the recipient. In professional arrangements, use of proficient grammar attracts the recipient to pay attention to the rest of the letter. Since the letter is an official document, the language used should be correct and free of simple mistakes such as poor prepositional use.

The writer fails to appreciate the recipient despite the fact that the writer is asking for a favor. The latter puts the writer in a negative standing with the recipient. At some point in the letter, the writer states that, “I heard that you made a good presentation at your local chapter in Los Angeles recently, I think you gave a talk called ‘Avoiding the seven capital sins in food service’ or something like that. Whatever it was I’m sure we would like to hear a similar presentation” (Guffrey, 2010).

The quoted statement is unappreciative and rude and such statements are wrong when asking for favors. The writer also fails to acknowledge that the recipient is helping and attempts to attract the recipient by suggesting the