Main Stages of Relationship - Essay Example

Stages of Relationship: Coming Together and Falling Apart Introduction On the first day, I joined the highschool, established a relationship with a classmate by the name Gregory. At first we had a very strong relationship, and we spent most of our time together. However, the relationship ended during our second year in school following my outstanding performance in class which I had never thought would a threat to my closest friend. The report describes stages in which we went through during the establishment and termination of our friendship. The formation stage of our friendship include; initiating, experimenting, intensifying and integrating. On the other hand, the termination phases include differentiating, circumscribing, avoiding and terminating. Initiating We reported to the administration office very early in that morning since as was required by the institution. There were very many people around some of them were students and others were either parent of guardians who had accompanied the students. As we hanged around waiting to be admitted, my I kept darting my eyes around trying to familiarize with the environment. Suddenly my eyes focused on someone who seemed peculiar to me. He was a medium sized boy who was so charming and humble. We kept throwing glances at each other occasionally until it became usual that we could not be able to avoid each other anymore. Slowly we started getting attracted to each other each time we smiled on each other whenever our eyes met. I draw close to that boy stealthily and greeted him casually. He responded to my greetings warmly and from there we continued with our conversation. He introduced himself to me as Gregory, and I told him my name. Although we had known each other for a very short time by the time were through with admission we had become so free with other as if we were long time pals and had started getting attracted to him. Before the admission process was over we had an opportunity to know some details about each other we felt free in the company of each other. We discussed different things especially about academics a few things about personal matters. Experimenting When we finally admitted in form one Gregory, and I was lucky because we landed to the same class. The class work did not start immediately and therefore we had plenty of time to share about our personal matter. The first was set for orientation with the school environment hence we were taken to different departments and institutional facilities. Were able to interact with different heads of departments and before lunch time we have had enough of that orientation. Immediately after we broke for lunch we had the rest of time for ourselves. For the rest of that afternoon we had intimate discussion with Gregory about personal likes and dislikes. It turned out that we had so many things in common and in a few others our preferences were somehow different. In the area of sport, we realized that we were strong fans of soccer and even supported similar international soccer teams. I realized that Gregory spends most of his time either watching sports or reading about sports. Apart from soccer we all enjoyed other types of games such as swimming and skating. We discussed the types of movies we like and how the time we spend watching those movies, and there were slight differences about our likes and dislikes. We discussed our political interests and what each of us likes or hates about politics. We realized that we did not strong liking for politics even though it did not cause any irritation at all to engage in discussions on politics. We shared about academics and what each of us would like to be when we are through with our studies. Although we had different career goals we were all ambitious and needed to engage serious strategies in our studies in order to achieve our career goals. After we realized how much we share in common this became our unifying factor, and I realized it would help us to get far in pursuance of our careers. Intensifying Our interactions intensified since we spent most the time together whether in class or outside the class. We started sitting together in a class where we could encourage each other and discuss on what we could do to achieve our goals. During our free time, we had discussions that we committed ourselves to in order to ensure we achieve our ambitions. Therefore, we spent most our time together irrespective of whether we were in class or whether we were outside the classroom. Whenever we were apart we could miss each other seriously despite having other friends around. Even though we had other friends in the same school and in the same classroom the bonds were never strong enough, and we rarely had time for other friends. Integrating Gregory had a unique way of responding to issues whenever he was asked a question whether by the teacher or by a fellow student. He could first shake his head and shrug shoulders before staring at the person who had asked the question straight in the eyes and then give his response. I admired him for his sincerity and courage of doing things irrespective of the outcome. He always ensured to tell the truth and had answers for any question. I also learnt that he was open for discussion on any topic whenever time allowed him to do so. He was good in managing his time therefore he followed his time table to the latter. After some time, I could not help imitating some of his characters that admired most. I had learnt to be courageous when answering questions of tackling any other issue even if the outcome could be embarrassing. I had adopted his style of tackling issues since he used to “what is the worst that could happen is did something or declined to do it? It is better to do something in wrong way than failing to do something when you were required to do. ” I tried to many things like Gregory and applied most of his statements in my own situation in order to achieve something that caused challenges earlier on. He picked a thing or two from me as well as he came to disclose to me one day. He told me “I like the way you commit your effort into doing anything because you never give up until you succeed in what you intended to achieve.” Our lives influenced each other significantly to the extent that we almost became inseparable. Falling Apart Differentiating Our friendship with Gregory started weakening in the second year in high school. Although we were all committed to our academics and every co-curricular activity the academic performance pricked the hole in our relationship bucket. Everything started one day as we were discussing our ordinary issues of life while enjoying the lunch time meals together. We were sharing about our academic performance about the challenges we all face in different subjects and the way our tutors affects our performance. That day we disclosed to each other about the individual performance a thing we had never done before. When Gregory told me how some subjects especially sciences and languages threaten his career goal and that he was performing very poorly in those subjects, I told him that those were my favorites and I offered to assist him to upgrade his performance. In fact, I told him that even though there is no single subject that I had ever performed below average sciences and languages were my preferences and that I would be my pleasure to help him. We agreed on when we could be meeting to discuss with him on how he could improve his performance in those subjects that posed challenges to him. Circumscribing Since that day when I disclosed my performance to Gregory he started behaving queerly. Most of the time he kept himself engrossed in books and communication between us became rare and casual. Avoiding Whenever we got a rare opportunity to interact with each other there was little that we could say to each other. I noticed that he was trying to hide something from me, but since he was not willing to share his issues with me any more I had no other option apart from usual greetings. Each one of us felt uncomfortable when in the presence of each other, and there were no more discussions between us. Terminating Our friendship with Gregory weathered away gradually as he tried to avoid me. He no longer valued me as his pal but as a rival in class and had nothing to do with me. At first we could meet after a couple of days, and unlike in the past we exchanged casual greetings. Afterwards, the situation became terrible and could no longer even exchange greetings. Conclusion The formation of relationship began from the interaction that occurred on the very first day of joining high school. Later it grew stronger as we realized how much we shared in common, from career ambitions, leisure and political orientations. However, the relationship can to an end following the differences in our class performance since my friend could not bear to be in a friendship with someone who was defeating him in academics. Works Cited Kirkpatrick, Charles,D., Duck, Steven & Foley, Megan, K. “Relating Difficulty: The Processes of Constructing and Managing Difficult Interaction.” Routledge, (2013): 16-84 Read More