Knapps Relational Development in the Movie No Strings Attached - Essay Example

? Whatever the kind of relationship we try to establish with other people – friendship, romantic relationship, or other things – it goes through various stages that goes on a cyclic process. The ‘ups and downs’ that everyone refers to is basically a development process that goes on between and among groups of people. Building relationships is just as hard as terminating or breaking up one. They go through various processes the goes from one step to another. However, some stages may be skipped and moved on to the next one. Some stops at some point and some may start over again that becomes a cycle. Mark Knapp’s relational development model includes ten stages, five of which is basically building one and the rest is tearing them apart. Adam and Emma’s unusual relationship in the movie No Strings Attached is probably one significant type of relationship that can be studied. According to Knapp, Initiating as the first stage of the relationship begins with the simple introduction between two individuals. Between Adam and Emma, their relationship began at a summer camp when they were young teenagers. Their body language apparently shows that it was an awkward meeting, especially with the way their small talk has progressed. Seeing each other again after five years in a fraternity party when they were university students was made led to what Knapp calls the Experimenting stage in a relationship. When Emma invited Adam to her father’s funeral, it became obvious in the movie that she is not comfortable talking about situations concerning emotions. Calling her father’s funeral “this thing” shows that it is her way of coping with the loss of a member of her family. Although Emma did not express her feelings and beliefs about the situation and certain issues to Adam, her gestures simply speak of her opening up herself and sharing her beliefs with him. Bringing someone to an event where he or she meets the family is a step further to making closer and letting them know that you are no longer just an acquaintance. A father’s funeral is rather a very emotional and personal event that is supposed to be shared only to people who we know well and we are familiar with, physically and emotionally. In addition, the mere introduction of Adam to her family made Emma open up a part of her life to Adam, which makes their relationship move further to Knapp’s second phase of relational development. It took Adam and Emma a few more years to see each other again and continue where they left off. After running into each other in a farmer’s market in Los Angeles, they exchanged contact numbers and promised to keep in touch. However, it was only after Adam’s desperation after finding out his father is living with his ex-girlfriend that they were able to get together again. Adam, having exposed his vulnerability to Emma when he passed out and slept over at her apartment, became comfortable talking with her. After a short conversation and a few laughs, they made out right before Emma went to work. When Emma seemed to be ignoring his messages and calls, Adam surprised her at the hospital with a heart-shaped balloon hoping she would be impressed by the gesture and probably for them to become a couple considering what just happened the morning before. To his surprise, Emma was “not the type who is good at relationships.” When they saw each other again and had sex the second time at Adam’s place, Emma proposed an agreement to Adam for which he thought he could “handle.” The Intensifying stage of their relationship began at this point as they have agreed to “use each other for sex” since Emma thought it would be better for them so they would not have to have breakfast together when they wake up. Having breakfast is in fact a common gesture for couples who are in a real relationship, and it is usually at breakfast when couples get to talk about each other and makes plans. Obviously, this situation is what Emma wanted to avoid. She does not feel comfortable feeling vulnerable and needy of a man next to her as opposed to her sister and her mother. Therefore, as part of their agreement, they promised to terminate the “relationship” the moment either of them begins to feel more towards one another. When one of them begins to fall in love with each other, Emma though it is time they should stop having sex or seeing each other. At first, they wanted to keep their no-strings-attached kind of relationship from their friends. Nature was no on their side though as they could not avoid having their friends notice what was going on between them. Aside from the common friends they have, they have also created a network of people as Knapp calls it. Emma gets to meet Adam’s father, and Adam gets to meet Sam, an intern at a hospital where Emma works who obviously like Emma a lot. They began going out together with their friends who knew about their set-up, or at least have an idea what was going on between them. As they meet more and more people associated to either of them, their relationship reaches the Integrating stage. It was at this stage though when both felt that they are starting to fall in love with each other. Unfortunately, both deny the thought and ignore the fact that they began caring for each other. Aware that their relationship was getting deeper as they begin showing gestures that are exclusive to couples in a real relationship, such as the period CD Adam made for Emma and the jealousies both felt when either of them is with other people, they tried to terminate their “relationship.” On the other hand, this only drew them closer and deeper in love with each other. Emma, who was more afraid of being in a real relationship and probably fears the thought of getting hurt eventually, started brushing Adam off as he tried to express his feelings for her. When Adam made her his Emergency contact person, it was then that Emma realized that she could no longer continue with their “relationship” as this breaks one of their rules. Aware where the situation could lead to, Emma began to guard her feelings toward Adam. She knew at that moment that they no longer want the same thing in their “relationship.” After she agreed to come along with Adam to have dinner with his father and his ex-girlfriend, Emma did not have a choice but to say yes to Adam’s invitation to go on a date with her on Valentine’s Day but on certain rules. This apparently illustrates that a conflict is starting to build up between them. Although Adam followed her rules, he would rather avoid talking about it sooner and continued with his plans. Adam wanting more in the “relationship” makes them reach the Differentiating stage. They no longer on the same side as they want different things out of the “relationship” – one wanting a real one, while the other wanting otherwise. When Adam tried to talk her through his feelings for her, Emma tried to stop him and avoid talking about the topic as possible as she could. The next time Adam tried to tell her again about it, she began hitting him over and over to distract him and stop him from telling her that he loves her. This gesture apparently shows that Emma is holding back her feelings towards him as well and hiding it from him. Feeling devastated about their situation, Adam decided that he wanted out of their set-up. Emily’s silence when he dropped her off back at work is a sign of avoidance, yet could mean another thing. Her depression after they terminated their no-strings-attached kind of relationship demonstrates that she in fact wanted the same thing Adam wanted of each other. As soon as both were ready to expose themselves in the vulnerability of being in a real relationship, Adam and Emma reinitiates their relationship back. It was later in their relationship that the Bonding stage had come – that is when they came to Emma’s sister’s wedding together holding hands. Works Cited: No Strings Attached. Dir. Ivan Reitman. Perf. Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, and Kevin Kline. Paramount. 2011. Film. Read More