Interpersonal Communication - Essay Example

?Spch120 07/31 “Interpersonal Communication” Since I am an immigrant, I feel the importance of communication even more than I had ever done before. Coming to a new country I find myself confronted by a variety of problems that I had not foreseen before migrating to a new country. I feel that an essential part of communication is words and expressing oneself. That is what I feel has become my biggest short coming in the new country and leads to a communication gap between me and those I have to interact with. Context The interpersonal communication lapse which I have selected for the purpose of this assignment is between me and my badminton team coach. I play badminton in the school team along with many other colleagues. I have been a very active sportsman throughout my academic career, back in Hong Kong I used to be the captain of my school’s badminton team and our team had won many inter-school tournaments and thus got many laurels for our school. After leaving Hong Kong for the States I had never realized that it would be so difficult to adjust in the new country. Apart from studies, I knew that sports and badminton in particular would be a regular activity for me, since I considered myself very good at it. However, when I came, I had to give the trials like everyone else for the selection of the team. I was selected in the playing eleven, but the positions of the team players were to be decided in the practice sessions. During our practice, I must admit I realized that the standard of the players selected for the team was excellent; however I was hopeful about getting the position of the central mid-fielder. That was the position I had played for years and was very good at. I was also expecting to be the captain of the team, which comprised mainly of Americans, I was the only Chinese and there were two Asians in the team. I believe that amongst the major factors that I found different from China was the culture shock in terms of individualism and collectivism. I come from a culture where families live together and decisions are taken after a consensus of the family but in the States, the independence the children have to live their life and make their decisions baffled me a little. I also missed my family quite a bit due to which I had become despondent, that is why I feel that I blamed everything on my nationality. That I think is quite a contributing factor to this conflict. A relief however is the fact that because of the empowerment and independence that students have in the States, I could at least talk the matter out with my coach. Had I been stuck in the same situation in China I would not have had the leverage to discuss this with my coach. This lack of freedom, I feel has hampered my ability to communicate. Since I have never had to argue with my seniors, to be able to convey my opinion I feel that I was at a disadvantage and my negotiation skills were not very apt for a discussion with the coach, which is why the clarification which I tried to seek turned more or less into an argument. I also felt that since my coach is such a senior person and at a position of authority, he expected the team players to accept his decisions as right and trust them, therefore I feel my seeking clarification might have angered him a little, as he might have seen it as an insult to his credibility. Evolution and Characteristics of the Relationship My interpersonal communication problem is between me and the coach of our team. I feel that part of the problem existed with my pre-decided notion that I might not get adequate representation in the new college because of being a Chinese. For this reason, if ever I was denied a chance at anything I used to blame it on my nationality. Therefore, when I was not given the position of the central midfielder, I thought the coach was biased because mostly the central midfielder becomes the captain of the team and thus, I was sure that the central midfielder would be given to an America national and so was the case, which served to substantiate my doubts. The channel of interaction is mostly face to face communication. This is so because most of the time the discussion, light moments and the thrashing all of this occurs in on-field practices. We have studied, face to face communication is the best channel of communication and I feel so too. The expressions, body language, expressions etc all are evident and can be analyzed to figure out what the other person is thinking about. Since I argued with the coach a little when I was not given the position I wanted, a certain feeling of animosity developed between the two of us and I had always been advised by my seniors that it is never a good idea to come in the bad books of the coach. I was asked to play as a defender and even though I was not averse to the idea of playing as a defender I was uncomfortable with it because I had never played a match as a defender. After slight arguments with the coach I realized that if I wanted to play badminton I would have to abide by the decisions of the coach. Another important factor in a player’s progress in the team is that of his relationship with fellow players. When I had asked the coach why he did not make me the team captain he said it was because he felt I would not be able to communicate well with the team players because I seldom talk and as I realize now, he was right. Since I am an immigrant, I am not very fluent in speaking English I have always felt hesitant speaking English in a crowd and that I feel has hampered my progress in the team and my relationship with the coach. Application of Course Material I believe an important theory that relates to my situation is Goffman’s Theory of face, where face refers to the self image which people want to project in different situations. The negotiating face as Hoffman described is one in which people try to alter the way they interact in different cultures and with people of different cultures. I feel this is what I have faced a lot after migrating from Hong Kong, sometimes I feel that I need to be a different person in order to be able to communicate in this culture and that results in a fear of loss of identity. I also felt that my reasons and the perception I had made of my coach and his rationale behind making decisions reflected the self-serving and confirmatory bias. Self-serving in the sense that I only looked for pointers and reasons that were in synchronization with what I believed. Confirmatory bias resulted in the sense that I was only looking for evidence that supported my perception so that I could be sure that what I was thinking was actually right. A particular instance as narrated above was of my feeling that an American national would be given the position of the central midfielder and thus would also be made the captain. When this actually happened I jumped to the conclusion that my hypothesis was correct and that the coach is biased. On the contrary I could have thought of alternative situations which might have resulted in this situation. I could have trusted the coach that he did not make me the captain because he wanted me to brush up on my communication skills before I was made to lead the team and thus I would categorize this as a fundamental attribution error. I also feel that the thought- speaking rate differential also has an important effect on the way I interact with my coach, and I feel that this is also reciprocated by the coach. I feel that when he’s talking to me my mind keeps racing and I start building up the points that I will speak next, in my mind. In doing so, the issue that occurs is that I am unable to carefully listen to what the coach is saying and then later when I’m asked to recall what the reasons were which my coach has spoken about but unfortunately I was not able to do so because I never paid attention while he was speaking. Action Plan The most concrete action plan that comes to my mind, which I have also started practicing is that of working on my interpersonal communication skills. I have been trying to work on this but I find it very difficult. It requires me to go against my normal personality type of being a quiet and shy person rather it requires me to socialize, get out of my little shell and talk to people in my team, build a rapport with them so that I can excel in the team I am currently playing in and thus pursue my dream of leading the team as its captain. It would also require me to overcome my fear of public speaking and people laughing at me if I speak because my accent is not similar to that of the Native Americans. If I am able to pull this action plan well, I will be able to become a confident and accomplished person. The second action plan which I feel can help me out is consulting my coach on the issue after removing all the preconceived notions that I had regarding him and his attitude towards me. It would require me to apologize and open up to my coach but I feel that in the long run it will be beneficial for me. If I consult him as a friend and talk to him about my role in the team and how I want it to proceed, I am sure he will be able to guide me and help me well. For this I will have to screen out all the old ideas that I had held true to and take my coach as a sincere guide who would want the best for me and for our team, therefore it will develop into a friendship of mutual trust and belief. This will in effect not only lead to my advancement but will also lead to the progress of our team towards achieving new horizons. Read More