Interpersonal Communication By Michelle Blower - Article Example

1. Topic: Interpersonal communication- By Michelle Blower Reading material: Article, How to Give Constructive Criticism. This essay discusses an article related to an area of interpersonal communication. 'How to Give Constructive Criticism' is a pragmatic approach to solving potential conflicts within the workplace when criticism is offered. When someone has done something that we do not like or disagree with we often feel it is important and necessary to convey this. The article gives the reader tips on how to reveal this information in a positive way and therefore giving us a positive result. Although the article focuses on the context of the workplace as the area for interpersonal communication, I feel that the five steps contained in the writing can be applied to any situation where verbal communication may cause a negative reaction. The writer, Chris Zervas, states that, the area of constructive criticism can be problematic as "We say things we don't mean or recipients hear more than was meant." (1) Therefore, often during constructive criticism in a potentially sensitive area such as the workplace, direct channels of interpersonal communication are not functioning correctly. The sender is communicating the wrong message, using inadequate phrasing and wrong information whilst the other participant receives a distorted or exaggerated message. The receiver subconsciously picks up another message from indirect channels of interpersonal communication. These indirect channels may include the tone of voice of the sender or his body language. The receiver may suspect that the sender has hidden motivations, revealed by these uncontrolled actions. The receiver also may react defensively as he or she may feel that their position within the work team is threatened. Chris Zervas uses his management insight to implement "skillful communication" which "can make these situations far less volatile."(2) 2. Zervas states that the important connotation of the senders message should make the receiver feel respected and valued, which is the converse of how criticism generally makes people feel. Usually, self esteem is lowered and sometimes even destroyed. Zervas, recognises the value of the workforce and that it is important that all members are team players who can recognise that human understanding is a worthwhile asset within the inhuman business arena. The writer is encouraging readers to shift from an ego-centric viewpoint, using tactics that we all know yet often do not use advantageously. He urges us to listen, to question whether our own motivations are driven by selfishness, to forgive, to ask open-ended questions that will encourage a much broader answer, reiterate phrases used to diffuse conflict and to not communicate when angry. These strategies will not ignite conflict but strengthen team resolve. The article is written in step by step form, therefore simplifying complexities of interpersonal communication and pin-pointing main areas to focus on and utilize. I could criticise that the article is an oversimplification of the interpersonal communication process as there is no mention of non-verbal communication or more subtle, subconscious signals. However, I feel that the writer intended to write a basic guide as he describes his work as "a few simple tactics." (3) The writer wanted to show a practical, instant strategy to solve a communication problem, not a deeper discussion of interpersonal communication. I feel that the article is successful, as after reading, the main points are still remembered clearly. It is up to the individual to accept and attempt to apply them. I enjoyed reading the article as it is a subject that I feel we can all identify with. Zervas uses interesting phrases which makes the article more appealing and memorable such as, "God gave us two ears and only one mouth and we should use them in this ratio." (4) The use 3. of words such as humility, respect and forgiveness give a human, almost Christian impression. Other words such as adversary and foe colourfully reveal how the workplace can be an area for conflict. The article was originally published in a publication called, The Business Owner therefore revealing that he writes from a business background rather than that of psychology. This shows how important the psychological aspect of interpersonal communication is within the workplace. The article reveals how important words and phrasing are when verbally communicating. Strategy, skill and an ability to look at a situation with clarity rather than being motivated by emotions appear to be the key to successful constructive criticism. Important points such as criticising the behaviour rather than the individual will help us communicate effectively, allowing both the sender and receiver to be satisfied that they are involved in a win-win situation for the whole team rather than causing offence and arguments. The points raised in the article provoke areas for discussion and thought. It raised questions within myself: Do I listen to other people enough Do I phrase my criticisms correctly How can I stop communicating when I am feeling angry The guideline in the article can be applied to other situations such as school, college, friendships and other relationships. It shows how we can positively manipulate a potentially harmful situation using simple methods. If we all looked inside ourselves before reacting, if we forgave more often, listened more intently, chose our words more carefully and spoke with peace in our hearts instead of anger, then work, and indeed society as a whole, would be a happier and more harmonious place to interact. Quotations: (1), (2), (3), (4) from 'How to Give Constructive Criticism', The Business Owner, May 1st, 2007, [ Business and Industry > Business > The Business Owner > May 1, 2007 The Free Library > Date > 2007 > May > 1 > The Business Owner How to give constructive criticism. Constructive criticism in the workplace can be explosive. We say things we don't mean or recipients hear more than was meant. Minor suggestions detonate before our eyes. But skillful communication can make these situations far less volatile. Respect: The Guiding Principle Good communication starts with respect or "esteem," as experts say. Great communicators make the recipients of their communication feel they are valuable. Explosions result when we fail to show esteem in all its elements: value, honor and respect. Here are some explosion-proof tactics to interpersonal success: 1: Stop and Take Personal Inventory 1st-century leader St. James wrote that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. He explains that selfish desires cause quarrels. The first thing we must do is look into our own heart. You may find that the issue is within you, not your adversary. 2: Forgive Sometimes we act as though the world revolves around us. Try to change your orientation and choose to forgive. It's a healthy and liberating choice, in effect releasing your foe from owing you anything. It is not easy. It's a decision of will, not feeling. Feelings come and go. Forgiveness is rational, shows humility and projects value and esteem. 3: Listen King Solomon wrote that speaking before listening is a man's folly and shame. We make Solomon look even wiser by confronting before listening. The next time you're ready to deliver a double-barreled shot at someone, take a moment to discover the other side of the story. Ask open-ended questions IN PRIVATE. Never forget, God gave us two ears and only one mouth and we should use them in this ratio. 4: Focus on the Behavior, Not the Person Instead of saying, "Jim, you're a liar," say, "Jim, you have been lying to me." Rephrasing this may sound trite, but there's a big difference. Then lay out the facts: "Jim, you said that you completed the Seymore job last Friday, but it's still in the shop." Keep in mind that you still should be addressing the person warmly--it's the behavior that's being addressed harshly, not the person. 5: Never When You're Angry If there's one skill that will keep you out of the interpersonal communication ditch, it's: "Don't communicate when you're angry." Wait till anger has subsided and you'll have a lot more success. By becoming less self-centered and following a few simple tactics, we can manage encounters in a way that minimizes risk of explosion. Chris Zervas is a communications consultant for various corporate clients. You can reach him at Chris@summitsolutiongroup.com COPYRIGHT 2007 D.L. Perkins, LLC No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder. Copyright 2007 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Article Details Printer friendly Cite/link Email Feedback Title Annotation: MANAGEMENT Author: Zervas, Chris Publication: The Business Owner Geographic Cod e: 1USA Date: May 1, 2007 Words: 430 Read More