Enlightenment in France - Essay Example

The writer’s main claim is that the French Revolution was more important in terms of enacting new enlightenment principles. He goes further to explain how the French revolution and Haitian revolution; influenced the eradication of slavery through the enactment of new laws. His claim is valid, as well as the rationale she provides in establishing his argument.

In the survey, the writer has outlined the positive effects brought about by the French revolution and the Haiti revolution. As a way of illustrating, he argued that the French revolution inspired the American Revolution. In addition, he has stated how the declaration of freedom was written. It resulted in freedom from slavery in both Haiti and France. In my opinion, these illustrations were explained properly. Furthermore, the writers attempt to explain the hierarchy of leadership and challenges affecting the two countries; creating a clear impression. From my point of view, discrimination against slaves as being less human is ruthless. It goes a long way to affect the social aspects of an individual.

In conclusion, the writer’s argument was expressed clearly. However, the points offered were fewer. As stated before, the revolution of France was more important in terms of enacting new enlightenment principles; this is certainly true. In my opinion, the argument was not properly covered; there was a need for more supportive points.

There was a need to include extra materials on the related topic; this meant to play a significant role in shedding more light. Moreover, it would provide more points necessary in supporting the thesis statement. There are many sources of information regarding the revolution in France and Haiti; although, my focus will be limited to sources with great depth of information. To start with, A Concise History of The Haitian Revolution provides a clear overview of the revolution in Haiti. It elaborates on the impacts of the revolution (Popkin, 22). Secondly, The French Revolution of 1789 And Its Impact provides information about the factors that led to the revolution and its effects (Rubenstein, 82). Finally, Haitian Revolutionary Studies sheds more light on the source of the revolution of the blacks and goes ahead to investigate the relationship between those in slavery and the free individuals (Geggus, 9-10).

The grading is usually dependent on the clarity of the argument and thesis statement; the use of materials for the related course; the availability of a valid argument; grammar and many more. Some of the problems experienced in the sample essay include grammatical errors; misuse of punctuation marks, whereby at some point no punctuation marks were placed (wordiness); use of colloquial speech. On the other hand, the following was achieved, first, clarity of the argument statement. Second, the course material was utilized properly in supporting the argument. Third, both sides of the argument were discussed before validating the argument (French and Haitian revolution); finally, the essay was clear and readable. Moreover, it was properly concluded clarifying the rationale. Therefore, my award of marks will be as follows: introduction and thesis statement (10); strength and influence of the argument concerning the rationale (30); utilization of course material (15); grammar, spelling, and syntax (10). Consequently, my total award is sixty-five marks.