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Peer Review: USS Kitty Hawk - Essay Example

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This paper was able to present a clear introduction and background on the incidents on the infamous USS Kitty Hawk and the resultant challenges involving racial issues which came about as a result of the incident. This incident also indicated that racism is a major issue in the…
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Peer Review: USS Kitty Hawk
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USS Kitty Hawk This paper was able to present a clear introduction and background on the incidents on the infamous USS Kitty Hawk and the resultant challenges involving racial issues which came about as a result of the incident. This incident also indicated that racism is a major issue in the US, within and outside the military. There was however no clear thesis statement which could be drawn from the paper’s introduction.
Sherwood’s book was able to establish detailed narratives on the incident and he evaluates the causes of these incidents. He also recognized the fact that there is already a culture of segregation within the ship and other issues caused these issues to escalate. This book provides a study of race relations in the US military, however it does not assess the events in a larger context. The paper also compared this book with Troubled Water by Gregory Freeman which the authors declare as more detailed and more focused on the USS Kitty Hawk incident.
Sherman’s evaluation of the topic as described by the paper is more comprehensive and significantly allows the reader to make a clear assessment of the incident. These details have actually allowed the reader to make a more objective assessment of the issue at hand, using the objective representation of the events as they unfolded in the ship. My own argument in relation to this evaluation also keeps in mind the various elements which relate to racial discrimination in various institutions of the government, even those which are major bastions and representations of freedom, justice, and fairness. Discrimination is not something that the US can eliminate overnight and major effects from all quarters of the government must be made to eliminate discrimination.
There are strong topic sentences which connect the different parts of the essay, however, some points do not seem to relate well or allow the transition from one point to another. The arguments of the author are properly and adequately defended, with specific incidents aboard the USS Kitty Hawk; moreover, these incidents are adequately explained in terms of their impact on the actual incident. The primary sources utilized were very much relevant because they relate to quotes or interviews from the various individuals involved in the incident. The most recent secondary sources were also used in relevant ways for this topic. These secondary sources are also appropriately used in discussing and further supporting the issue.
As for the footnotes and citations, the author used endnotes consistently in his paper. This allowed an orderly presentation of his paper, ensuring that all sources are cited and the citation style could easily be evaluated based on clear and detailed referencing. The bibliography also complies consistently with the referencing style used all throughout the text. All the materials used and evaluated for the paper were also indicated in the bibliography and they help provide adequate support for the structure and substance of the entire paper.
There are issues on grammar and proofreading which were not adequately established throughout the text and these reduced the overall efficacy of the text. Nevertheless, these grammatical errors did not interfere with the overall study and the main points being established by the study. Improvements on spacing between sentences and paragraphs need to follow the proper academic style in order to maintain an orderly text. All in all, the paper provides a clear background and evaluation of two books on the USS Kitty Hawk and this information can be used in order to support the arguments laid out by this author, and any other future debates on this incident. Read More
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