Western Culture of Raising Children - Essay Example

It is impossible for two partners to work full-time and raise children in Western culture Student’s Name: Course: Tutor’s Name: Date: Introduction When children are born, they not only bring joy to those who beget them, but they also signal an additional responsibility. Partners who previously led self-centric, carefree lives have to consider the social and economic welfare of the children. In the western culture or elsewhere, parents need to dedicate a significant amount of resources, which include money, time and energy to raise their children. Of the three identified resources, money and time provide the most conflict since parents need to spend time at work in order to earn money, and yet, they need to spend extended amounts of time tending to their children. Working full-time in the western culture requires one to put in at least eight hours in their places of work. This then leads to the question; can two partners work full time and manage to raise children in the western culture? Well, this essay holds the opinion that although working full-time and raising children is a challenging undertaking, it is still possible for two partners to engage in the same. The essay is divided into three sections where changing gender roles, marriage and divorce, and cultural expectations regarding parental responsibilities are addressed. The essay concludes by noting that working parents can overcome the challenges of full-time careers and raising children if they possess the enthusiasm and resolve needed for the same. Changing gender roles In the past, men earned their titles as heads of households by being the breadwinners. Their wives would on the other hand earn their titles as homemakers by bearing children, diligently raising them, and attending to all other household chores. With the industrial revolution coming of age after World War II, household appliances made household chores less time consuming and the women looked for jobs outside their homes (Thistle, 2006, p. 35). Additionally, income levels had dropped significantly hence raising a need for women to work in order to complement the family income (Thistle, 2006, pp. 35-36). This marked the beginning of a change in gender roles, which Thistle argues came in the form of new possibilities for women, which enabled them to challenge old inequalities (p. 167). In the contemporary western society, not only are women seeking employment and pursuing careers like their male partners, but the men are also increasingly participating in domestic roles that were previously reserved for women. In a study conducted by Crompton et al. (2005, p. 215) for example, it was found that men are socialised into believing that domestic chores are the responsibility of women. As such, it takes a lot of negotiation and convincing from women before their male partners can commit to performing domestic chores. However, with social and economic factors pushing more women to take up gainful employment, men are being cornered into involuntarily taking up domestic tasks such as doing laundry, washing dishes and vacuuming among others. The gender equality movement has also had some significant contribution towards encouraging the modern woman to seek self-fulfilment from roles outside her home. Consequently, the contemporary woman although married and with children, is still pursuing equality in earning an income and raising the children. Among the strategies that Gershuny and Bittman (2005, p. 657) identify as useful to women who are not willing to give up their careers just in order to become ‘homemakers’ is arguing and negotiating. Through the arguing and negotiation strategy, Gershuny and Bittman (2005) found out that full-time working parents were able to share domestic chores more equitably and hence attained some sense of lagged adaptation. In some cases however, men do not easily take up the domestic chores, and this leads to a situation where women are overburdened with the balancing demands of a full-time career and raising children. In a study among full-time working partners who had to raise children, Hochschild (1989, p. 260) notes that “Men who shared the load at home seemed just as pressed for time as their wives, and as torn between the demands for career and small children.... But the majority of men did not share the load at home. Some refused outright. Others refused more passively, often offering a loving shoulder to lean on, an understanding ear as their working wife faced the conflict they both perceived as hers”. The observation by Hochschild is an indication that although it is possible for partners to work on a full-time basis while still raising children in the western culture, there is often some consequences that one or both partners have to pay. Hochschild (1989, p. 261) for example notes that married couples who juggle between full-time careers and raising their children often lose interest in their union, often neglecting things that bind them together such as love and sex. Marriage and divorce There is little doubt that any marriage regardless of how solid it is, will in due course be shaken by the challenges that occur when two partners insist on maintaining full-time jobs and raising children. Even where the partners have a mutual agreement that their full-time jobs are necessary for the economic wellbeing of their family, conflicts will often arise concerning how best to share housework and other domestic responsibilities. As observed elsewhere in this essay, partners often neglect their union since they are usually too tired, fatigued or engaged in to attending their careers or children. Eventually, the emotional distance between the couple may culminate in divorce. Poortman (2003, p. 301) for example found that marriages where women were engaged in full-time careers were exposed to an increased risk of divorce. Nonetheless, it is worth noting that not all marriages where the two partners are juggling between full-time careers and raising children end up in divorce. However, for such unions to survive, the couple has to make deliberate efforts towards sustain their marriage. In a study conducted on dual-earner couples, Becker and Moen (1999, p.995) observe that in order to sustain marriage, couples have had to modify resources, relationships and roles in their unions in order to cope with the challenges of juggling full-time careers and raising a family. In a survey conducted among full-time career women and non-working women, Poortmen and Kalmijn (2002, p. 175) found out that 22 percent of the former group had an increased likelihood of divorce when compared to the latter category of women. The authors further found out that a husband’s help in handling domestic chores has a positive effect on divorce, since those women who got assistance from their husbands indicated that they were satisfied in their marriages, while those who did not receive any support expressed increased levels of dissatisfaction. On the flipside, Coontz (2001, p. 13) notes that full-time jobs do sometimes save some marriages from divorce. Coontz argues that when married couples spend less time in each other’s company, there is less conflict at home and this could affect their willingness to stay longer in the marriage. This observation by Koontz is however contentious since one can argue that the financial independence attained by partners who work full-time makes them less willing to put up with unsatisfactory relationships. Cultural expectations regarding parental responsibilities In the western culture, the woman was expected to play the ‘wife’ role by bearing children, caring for them, fixing meals, doing the laundry, and washing the dishes among other domestic roles. The man on the other hand would go out and earn a living for the family. As such, and by the fact that the woman spent more time with the children, she was expected to attend to all the parental responsibilities with the man only helping occasionally. Accordingly, parenting was seen as a feminine thing (Mann, 2001, p. 18). In the modern western culture however, the circumstances in which people live determine how the parental responsibilities are handled in each household. As (Mann, 2001, p. 17) observes, “Traditionally, Dad threw a ball to the kids because Mom was making dinner”. Nowadays however, whoever has his or her hands free will throw the ball since both ‘Dad and Mom’ share parental responsibilities at home. As such, parenting has been transformed from a feminine responsibility, since men do now spend time with their children just as the women does. While this essay emphasises that it is indeed possible for partners who are either married or co-habiting to raise children while maintaining their full-time careers, it is worth noting that they would need to put in a lot of hard work and dedication. Additionally, such partners would also need to calculate whether the earnings from their jobs are worthwhile considering the economic, emotional and physical pressures of juggling career and family. As Mann (2001, p. 17) notes, partners need to add up the cost of “day care, lunches, dinners out, higher income taxes, car expenditures” among other costs before deciding whether maintaining full-time careers is worthwhile. Conclusion It is evident that it is indeed possible for couples to have full-time careers and still raise families. It is however noteworthy that partners who choose to maintain such lifestyles would have to beat different odds in order to maintain good healthy family relationships. Considering the challenges that full-time career parents face, it is understandable why some people argue that the challenges are insurmountable and hence end up concluding that it is impossible for people to juggle between full-time careers and raising children. Considering the different levels of dedication and willpower that different people have, this essay concludes by noting that partners who have enough enthusiasm and resolve to juggle full-time careers and raising families can succeed in the same. References Becker, P E & Moen, P 1999, ‘Scaling back: Dual-earner couples’ work-family strategies’, Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 61, no.4, pp. 995-1007. Coontz, S 2001, ‘The American family: Where we are today’, U.S. Society & Values, vol. 6, no. 1, pp. 13-15. Crompton, R, Brockman, M, & Lyonette, C 2005, ‘attitudes, women’s employment and the domestic division of labour: a cross-national analysis in two waves’, Work, Employment and Society, vol. 19, no. 2, pp. 213-233. Gershuny, J & Bittman, M 2005, ‘Exit, voice and suffering: Do couples adapt to changing employment patterns?’ Journal of Marriage and Family, vol.67, pp. 656-665. Hochschild, A 1989, ‘The second shift: Working parents and the revolution at home’, In Hochschild, A & Machung, A (eds), The Second Shift, Viking Penguins, New York, pp. 258-261. Mann, L 2001, ‘Dad’s Role redefined in the U.S. household’, U.S. Society & Values, vol. 6, no. 1, pp. 16-18. Poortman, A & Kalmijn, M 2002, ‘Women’s labour market position and divorce in Netherlands: Evaluating economic interpretations of the work effect’, European Journal of Population, vol. 18, no. 2, pp. 175-202. Thistle, S 2006, From Marriage to the market: the transformation of women’s lives and work, University of California Press, Berkley. Read More