Is romantic love a code, a script, a narrative or a delusion - Essay Example

?Question 2: Is romantic love a a script, a narrative or a delusion, or, all of the above? Discuss the dis of romantic love. Compare and contrast two different theoretical approaches to love from weeks 1-6 of the course. Introduction Romantic love can be viewed in a lot of ways depending on who is perceiving and experiencing the feeling. For most individuals, it generally evokes a feeling of happiness and giddiness, which for some individuals can lead to romantic relationships, and for others can lead to heartbreaks. This paper shall provide a discourse on whether or not romantic love is a code, a script, a narrative or a delusion, or all of the above. It will primarily focus on romantic love and shall compare and contrast two different theoretical approaches to love discussed in the first six weeks of this course. Body Romantic love can be viewed in different ways, often depending on each individual, his experiences, his status, and his perceptions. Romantic love can therefore be viewed as a code, also a script, a delusion, or all of the above. As a script, love is not original, as it proceeds from others, including books and friends (Barthes, 1984). Love is a amalgamation of amorous declarations, and it mimics images and representations from films, literature, text, poems, biology, and spirituality. As a script, it enacts rituals and conventions. It also arises from books and encounters where the same things are read, heard, and spoken. Love has a settled discourse because it is supported by historical elements, making it an adventure in some ways. Stages relating to love include instantaneous rapture, then a series of encounters (Barthes, 1984). The encounters include various encounters where individuals go on dates, exchange calls and/or letters, and have brief trips. At which point, the ‘lovers’ explore the perfect qualities of the other person. There are sweet qualities at these beginnings of the relationship, and this is the interval period during idyllic moments (Barthes, 1984). These moments take on an identity based on its opposition to the period which follows where there are moments of pain, anxiety, suffering, distress, embarrassment, and deception. At this point, there is a persistent threat of a possible downfall which may overcome a person. In some ways, love is also a delusion and a madness. Love often takes place with the amorous subject indicating that he is going mad with love, and that he is mad to be in love. He admits that he is insane in his own eyes and is also conscious in his madness. All lovers are mad at some point, delusional too (Barthes, 1984). As such, they are likely to do mad things. There are many incidents in film and in literature illustrating such madness. Romeo and Juliet were mad to reach the point in their life where Juliet agreed to take in a potion to stop her heart and feign death, and Romeo has taken on qualities of madness as he too reaches a point where he commits suicide in the hope of joining Juliet in the afterlife. Delusions are associated with love, especially in terms of the feelings and thoughts which people associate with it (Barthes, 1984). People in love may be deluded enough to think that the other party is also in love with them. As such they are prone to make interpretations of the other person’s actions and words in order to fit their delusion of love (Turkle, 2011). This may be seen in overly eager fans of celebrities which often believe that the words, songs, and actions of their favourite actors or singers are meant for them. John Hinckley, Jr. for example attempted to assassinate Pres. Ronald Reagan in an attempt to impress Jodie Foster (Buss, 2000). He was delusional in the belief that he would be able to prove his love to Foster by assassinating President Reagan. Love is also a catastrophe in the sense that the lover views himself in a trap where he cannot escape, in a trap where he is doomed to destruction. Under these conditions, the lover is likely to be carried away by his emotions, asphyxiated by it, likely to feel convulsed from it (Buss, 2000). The delusion of love is also based on the fact that it is love which the person loves, not the object. This is common among teenagers where they are enamoured and excited, almost titillated by love itself, not the person they think they love. They love the first blush of love where they feel giddy, happy, excited, and giggly about the person they think they love. When the loss of the loved one sets in, these teenagers often weep the loss of love, not the love of the person or the loss of the person (Harley, 2001). This may explain the fact that some people may like finding themselves constantly in love, often flitting from one relationship to the next, seeking that feeling of being in love, and not feeling the loss of the person they have fallen in love with. Romantic love also involves the expression of the love cry. It is part of the script of love, saying ‘I love you’ to the other being a major part of romantic love. These three words can have a sublime effect, it may be said trivially, erotically, and in some ways may not convey meaning at all. Love can also be viewed as a contradiction and as a series of misunderstandings (Harley, 2001). Within the rapture of love, the personal identity is eliminated in the same sense that its meaning is combined in the discourse of love. Part of the giddiness of love, as well as its delusion and madness is the context of love at first sight and wild, fiery love. Contemplating love seems different from living it, and sometimes, it is not less troubling and instead, it is intoxicating, especially as it arises from the uncertainty in its object (Barthes, 1984). When individuals say they are in love, the actual meaning behind the words is still very much unsure especially as when these individuals also express their love to us, we are also not sure what they actually mean, and whether they mean it (Harley, 2001). Speaking of love is also to describe the discourse of feelings which arouses metaphorical capabilities, imaginary, and feelings to which the person holds a key. The feelings of madness and delusions associated with love also include the vertigo of identity, which relates to the sudden revelation and the irremediable cataclysm where a person speaks only following the fact. Under its influence, an individual has the impression of speaking for the first time and for real (Buss, 2000). The identity of love is based on the person in love and the other person, the “we,” but not what is actually at stake between the parties. Love is a relative feeling and is severely influenced by the individual’s experiences. Based on the discussion and discourse presented in the lectures, love can be perceived in different ways. It can be perceived as a script and also a delusion. The script of love relates to qualities which refer to the parties in love. These parties express their feelings and define these feelings based on words they can associate with such feelings. Whether or not these feelings actually refer to love is often based on the intensity of these feelings. Despite the delusion associated with love, it is nevertheless considered a beautiful thing, especially when the open mindedness of the parties allows them to understand it better. The delusion of love allows the individual to feel good about oneself, to smile, and to look relaxed. It allows for a larger perspective of things, to listen, and to understand others deeply. Compassion is also woven into the fabric of love, allowing self-love to flow freely and to secure forgiveness and inclusiveness for others. Others are perceived in observation, not discrimination. The perspective of the world is in not viewing the faults, but in seeking how each moment is precious. The script of love is founded on the rhythm and rhyme of the lovers, the unspoken elements which support a better perspective of the world (Barthes, 1984). Every day provided for the person is precious and the mindfulness is organized in terms of how one organizes his days. Love is present in a bigger form for most people, and under these conditions, it may be perceived as a delusion. For those who have a more positive outlook on love, they may view it more as a narrative. There is a fluidity which flows from love and its elements include a script and a code wherein all the right lines relating to love are drawn. Conclusion There is a dilemma in actually providing an accurate context or discourse for love. Love is a code and a script, but it may also be regarded as a delusion because of the madness involved in its applications. Still, it may be bounded by limits and codes and its entire meaning is broken into words which do not accurately display and explain love. All in all, love is very much in the eyes of those who feel it, perceive it, and express it. References Barthes, R. 1978, A lover's discourse: Fragments. London: Macmillan. Buss, D., 2000, The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex. New York: Simon and Schuster. Harley, Jr., 2001. Fall in Love, Stay in Love. London: Basic Books Turkle, S. 2011, Introduction’, in Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other, New York: Basic Books. Read More