The Opposite Sex by Steven Doloff - Essay Example

 “The Opposite Sex” by Steven Doloff Introduction The article “The Opposite Sex”, written by Steven Doloff, appeared in the Washington Post on January 13, 1983. The theme behind the article was how society associated sexist stereotypes to the males and females genders, so much so that the two genders could not place themselves in the shoes of the other gender. Truly speaking, the sexist self-images of both the genders have limited their thoughts regarding the other gender. They can imagine the other gender’s roles, but are not ready to adopt them. Women are slightly flexible in that they are open about men’s roles in society, and are ready to accept them. Why this perception arose, goes back to the history of feminism, which has motivated women to come out of their stereotypic personalities, and stand at an equal status as men. The reverse is not possible, nor will men let it happen. They are obnoxious toward reverse gender roles. Gender roles are society driven, and not God given, and this is the main difference between sex and gender. This paper intends to interpret Steven Doloff’s article in terms of gender roles and stereotypes associated with each gender. The main focus of the paper will be on Doloff’s line, which he writes at the end of his essay, that today’s youth is “burdened with sexist stereotypes and sexist self-images” (Doloff 779). The paper will start off with a summary of Doloff’s article, and will also relate to sexism that exists in the minds of both genders, difference between sex and gender, feminism, and why gendering is done from birth. This will help the reader gain a better insight regarding why males and females cannot separate themselves from their stereotypic personalities. “The Opposite Sex”- Summary Steven Doloff writes in his essay that he assigned his class, one day, to imagine they were the opposite sex, and write an essay about how they felt or what they wanted to do if they became the opposite sex for one day. It was in the reaction of both the genders where we saw the difference in perspectives and sexism that prevailed in the minds of males and females. Doloff noticed a clear difference. Girls started writing right-away, with whatever came in their minds; while, the boys went into imagination, and had a hard time sequencing their thoughts and putting them in black and white. It was not that girls were smarter than boys, nor was it a matter of intellect or energy. It was the way both the genders perceived each other. Girls seemed to be keen about the topic at hand; while, boys seemed to be unenthusiastic, as if somebody had put them off by asking them to imagine themselves in the shoes of the other gender. Girls wrote more, and the boys wrote less. Doloff’s female students wrote enthusiastically out of “envy of men's physical and social privileges and curiosity regarding man’s true feelings concerning women” (Doloff 778); while “the male students tended to wait a while (in several cases half the period), in something of a daze, before starting” (Doloff 778). It seemed as girls had been thinking about the topic all their lives, and they finally got a chance to express their thoughts out in front of the world. On the other hand, boys seemed to be dull, not being able to concentrate upon how they might spend a day like a female. When we throw a look upon some instances of the writings of both the genders, we come to know how they perceived the other gender, and how our thesis statement, that we gave in the beginning of the paper, formed. Sexism, chauvinism, bigotry, gender stereotypes- we can give many names to the essence of Doloff’s students’ writings. Doloff found out that most of the girls wrote about enjoying being a male, staying out of house till late night, looking for dates, having fun with sports, and enjoying sexual experiences. It was as if they perceived men as totally carefree beings, with no responsibilities on shoulders, and with the sole aim of enjoying their lives in a way women could not. “At least two female students in each class spent chunks of their essays under the sheets with imaginary girlfriends, wives or strangers, finding out with a king of scientific zeal what sex is like as a man” (Doloff 778). On the other hand, those boys who took the writing seriously, wrote about sending the day at home, waiting for husband, arranging dinner, cleaning up, watching TV, and going to sleep; or, going out to look for an escort with whom they would spend time in a restaurant, and say good-bye if they wanted to approach them. This showed the men perceived females as beings only limited to domestic chores, spending routine boring lives, without color or enthusiasm. They also perceived them as unfaithful, shutting doors on their escorts when they took them home. One important thing to mention here is that both the genders wrote in the end of their essays that they liked the gender they were. For example, for male students, Doloff wrote that their wanting to get back to their gender was “equivalent to that of jumping up after having been forced to sit on a lit stove” (779). But why women were so eager in imagining themselves as males, and why males were not that eager, is the whole theme of Steven Doloff’s essay, which makes us probe deeper into the concept of gender stereotypes, gender roles, sexism, and sexist self-images. Analysis In “The Opposite Sex”, the imagination of girls showed that they had always been thinking about male gender roles, and how they could fit in some of them, or how would they feel if they adopted those roles for some time in their lives. The reason behind this obsession is the universal truth that females envy the way males spend their lives. They are jealous of male gender roles, and are frustrated of their own. They often imagine how it is like to be a man. They often talk about reversing the gender roles, out of jealousy and frustration; whereas, men will never talk about this topic. They never want to imagine being a female, but they want to talk about what they like in a female and what they loathe. The reason behind this is another universal truth that man is proud of his gender roles which he can never ever think of reversing, and that he has got such a false yet high self-esteem that he considers the other gender as inferior and unimportant. This issue has been raised many a times in literature. For example, in a play “Trifles” written by Susan Glaspell, men are shown as considering their wives as inferior beings who cannot think about important matters, and are famous for wasting time pondering over petty details. It is another thing that in the end of the play, the women succeeded in solving the murder case rather than men. The point here is that men are not willing to give a superior place to women, while women have always thought of men as superior beings, which is why they can fancy imagining themselves in men’s shoes. Men enjoy all “physical and social privileges” (Doloff 778), that are not available to women. They feel for women, yet they do not want to be in their status to understand them, as Doloff mentioned them saying that they were “envious of very little that [is] female, and [are] curious about nothing” (778). On the other hand, a woman is always more than ready to put herself in man’s position to feel for him and understand his problems. Let’s now plunge deeper into the issue, explaining why it is natural for men and women to perceive about gender roles the way they did in Doloff’s article. The Concept of Gender Roles Sex defines male and female biologically, and the perception is the same in all cultures. Nonetheless, every culture has different concepts of gender roles that are assigned to males and females, and these are the gender roles that define the masculinity and femininity of an individual regardless of his physical anatomy or, in other words, sex (Sudha). “Men and women are social categories”, and socially “we have the freedom to decide who counts as a man and who counts as a woman” (Roughgarden 23). One culture will define an actual man who beats up his wife; while, another culture will call a person a man considering his height and voice. Some cultures define a woman as a person bearing children; while, others will define a woman as individuals with delicate stature. These are all the gender roles that every culture assigns to men and women, thus associating these roles with one gender. Feminist theories have arisen because of distinction in gender, because “most feminists differentiate sex from gender” (Nfah-Abbenyi 16). Generally speaking as in all cultures, male gender is associated with “physical and social privileges” (Doloff 778), like going out for jobs, playing games, joining clubs, and becoming politicians; while, female gender is associated with roles like running a house, bearing children, raising them up, doing grocery, serving the family, and the like. Thus, we assign specific roles to one gender and call it man or woman. Important point here is that gender roles are taught to us since birth, since brain is “cerebral hard drive that receives the culture’s software” (Myers 158, para.5). Biologists talk about gamete size when defining sex; but, culture talks about power and freedom while talking about men; and, about frailty, sex and cowardliness while taking about women. This distinction of gender is defined by the society depending upon the societal roles (Powell 4). With this description of societal gender roles, we come to know that female gender is more restricted due to the stereotype associated with it. This is why feminism came into existence. Feminists are of the view that females are restricted inside the premises of their homes. They are supposed to bear kids, look after them, prepare meals, and do house chores. They do not find time to socialize in many cultures. They do not get the opportunity to do jobs like men. This is not the case with all cultures, but most of the cultures expect females to stay at homes. This limits their thought, and makes them rigid and frustrated. We grow up with this kind of mentality, as is shown by Doloff’s students. Our elders inculcate in us that- if you are a female, you have to play with dolls; you cannot go out and participate in sports like your male counterparts; you should learn cooking; you must know how to mop; and, you are not supposed to have many friends. This kind of mentality proves that females are the gender who is restricted due to their gender roles, and that is why Doloff’s female students envied male gender roles. Hence, sex is defined by the Nature while gender roles are defined by the society. Gender roles define what males and females are expected to do. Males are generally associated with positive stereotype and are supposed to go out, do sport and have fun along with their jobs. Females are associated with negative stereotype and are restricted, most often, inside their homes. Doloff states, “do I really need to prove that young people even now are still burdened with sexist stereotypes and sexist self images not nearly as vestigial as we would like to think?" (779). Doloff’s essay does not mention the reasons that lie behind his students’ reaction to the assignment; yet, we know from our social upbringing why they reacted the way Doloff noticed. Feminism Feminism talks about women being treated differently than men. “The Opposite Sex” is a good depiction of this fact. This gives rise to gender discrimination that is favored basically by male domination. There are some feminists who characterize women as slaves in houses doing work for their families without getting paid, and thus their houses become a sort of prison for them. This domesticity, according to feminists, has to be ruled out from women’s lives if they want themselves to be treated at an equal status with men and considered as modern. According to Tuchman (qtd. in Gillis and Hollows 1), “many early second wave feminists focused on how ‘false’ images of women were created within popular culture, socializing girls into restricted definitions of femininity that were based around ‘hearth and home’”. This imagery of women was very well shown through advertisements, movies, TV shows, magazines, literature, and etcetera, and this is what defined the point of view of feminism toward popular culture. Feminism promotes the idea of “a future non-sexist society” (Humm 5). Doloff’s essay also revolves around feministic concept of females, when we see that boys wrote about lives of women inside the boundaries of their homes, doing house chores. Gendering is done from birth As soon as a baby is born, the society assigns him his gender role. The society does this unconsciously (Salamon and Robinson). The baby is given a name, is dressed according to what gender he/she has, and is treated accordingly. Hence, one does gender very unconsciously. We are constantly doing gender even when we are appreciating reverse gender roles. For example, when we see a father holding a baby, we approve of him. Why do we approve? This is because we know that this is not his gender role to hold the kid. So, unknowingly, we are doing gender. We praise a woman working from 9 to 5 pm. Why do we praise? We can just consider it as a routine thing, but we pause to praise because we know it is not her gender role to work. Again, unintentionally, we are doing gender. And, this is what Doloff did. He did gender, unconsciously, when he assigned to his students the task of imagining themselves in the other gender. And, his students did gender when they, unconsciously, wrote about the gender stereotypes associated with each gender. The point here is that, it is inculcated in our minds since birth that we are two different genders, and should not dare enter one another’s gendered premises without permission. Conclusion Steven Doloff’s essay is a true depiction of sexism that prevails in the minds of young people. This sexism has always been there, and has not vanished even after the emergence of feminist theories and feminist movements. Females envy their male counterparts, and fancy being in their places, enjoying all the pleasures that society reserves for males than for females. Doloff’s female students seemed to have accepted the truth, and that is why their tone in writing the assignment had not been rebellious; instead, they stated that they liked being female, perhaps because they did not want to enter into rebellion with the societal gender roles. Contrarily, Doloff’s male students did not like the idea of the task given to them, and it hurt their male chauvinistic ego to step into female gender’s shoes for a day. All this relates to the gender stereotypes that society associates with the two genders, and hence they become permanently unable to come out of their assigned gendered premises. Works Cited Doloff, Steven. “The Opposite Sex.” Literature for Composition, Essays, Fiction, Poetry, and Drama, 7th ed. Ed. Barnet, Sylvan, Burto, William, and William E. Cain. New York, Pearson/Longman, 2005. 778-9. Gillis, Stacy, and Joanne Hollows. Feminism, Domesticity and Popular Culture. New York, NY: Taylor & Francis, 2009. Glaspell, Susan. Trifles. USA: Players Press, 2007. Humm, Maggie. “Cronenberg’s Films and Feminist Theories of Mothering.” Feminism and Film. USA: Edinburgh University Press, 1997. Myers, David G. Social Psychology. USA: Tata McGraw-Hill Education, 2006. Nfah-Abbenyi, Juliana Makuchi. “Gender and Feminist Theory.” Gender in African Women's Writing: Identity, Sexuality, and Difference. USA: Indiana University Press, 1997. Powell, Gary N. “Sex versus Gender.” Women and Men in Management. USA: SAGE, 2010. Roughgarden, Joan. “Sex versus Gender.” Evolution's Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People. USA: University of California Press, 2004. Salamon, Edna, and Barrie William Robinson. Gender Roles: Doing What Comes Naturally? Canada: Nelson Canada, 1991. Sudha, D.K. Gender Roles. New Delhi, India: APH Publishing, 2000. Read More