Happy to Be Raised in Israeli Family - Essay Example

Family Genogram I was reading the book “Holocaust” by Omer Bartov when my sister, Loren, called me for dinner. It was seven o’clock, and although I was not feeling hungry because I just had some fries, I had to come down for dinner and eat together with my family, or else, my mother will be upset. In the Israeli tradition, family meals are an important activity. The whole family would gather together to tell stories, discuss problems, or even just see each other. Dinnertime at home will never be the same without my mother cooking. Typically, Israeli women serve the family while the men work to support the family’s needs. The women respect their husband’s decisions but they have control over a lot of things, especially regarding their children. Having dinner together is only one of the many practices that Israeli families have. This tradition helps to make the family intact. Family is central to Israeli life. Raised in an Israeli family, I observed a number of family traditions that are uncommon to other cultures. In my 18 years of existence, I have seen how my parents give importance to our extended family. Coming from ancestors whose history is dimmed by the horrific events of the Holocaust, my parents, especially my mother, have always valued their siblings. They maintained connection with each other despite the geographical distances and preoccupations at work. For instance, my father makes it a point to communicate with his mother and two sisters every day. Every Friday, my grandmother lights up two candles before sunset and prepares dinner for the whole family. We go to our grandmother’s house to have the Shabbat dinner where we spend time to get to know other Israelis. Most of my father’s relatives are in Israel; despite this, I and my cousins have established a close relationship by communicating a lot through Facebook. Moreover, we visit our relatives in Israel once a year, which gives me time to bond with my cousins and other relatives. As Lamanna and Riedman (5) claim, my family serves as the “center of love and support” (5). My parents provide my physical as well as emotional needs. They encourage me and my sister to tell stories at dinnertime but as it is with other teenagers, I feel more comfortable to tell stories to my cousins. My concept of family is that of an extended family composed of my immediate family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. As a family, I and my cousins openly share our thoughts, dreams and experiences to each other. Although I am also close to my mother, the nature of the Israeli family makes it more convenient to open up to my cousins and because I am used to having an extended family, I can tell my cousins secrets and dreams, which I cannot tell my parents. I can relate well to the class discussion about individual and communal values. Our family has communal values that each member should uphold. These communal values which emphasize needs, goals, and identity of the group (Lamanna and Riedman 13) are mostly related to the Jewish culture. Each part of the family or group is important, for every one contributes to the Jewish society and culture. As members of the Jewish society, we have to act based on the values and laws set in our religion. Part of these laws is being a Batz Mitzvah. When I was thirteen, I was declared as a Batz Mitzvah. In the Jewish culture, this means being accountable for one’s actions and decisions, thus, the tradition is similar to considering young people to be in the legal age. At this point, I am expected to act and base my plans and decisions in accordance to our religion. I am not totally rebellious; in fact, I always find it sound to obey my parents because they only want what is best for me but there are times when my personal preferences would disagree with my parents’. Living in the American culture for more than 11 years, I cannot help but be influenced by my environment. Thus, there are times when I want to obtain something, like material things, but my parents would disagree, and I would relent to their decision because that is part of showing respect to my elders. Sometimes, I need to set aside my personal preferences to adhere to the laws set by our religion. This does not mean losing one’s individuality but as Jews, we “emphasize needs, goals and identity of the group (Lamann and Riedman 13). This means that we give more importance to upholding communal values. We make our decisions based on what is acceptable to our laws, culture, or the decision of the elders. We show love and concern for one another by respecting and following communal values that are deeply rooted from birth. Aside from girls turning Batz Mitzvah or boys becoming Bar Mitzvah, our family faces a lot of normative stressors. These include getting married, taking care of old parents, and living with the original family despite getting married. Right now, my grandmother stays with my aunt but she can also live with us if she wants to. When I get married, I expect to live with my parents and later on, my grandchildren. This setup helps in teaching children about the Jewish practices and traditions. It allows children to be more connected with their roots and learn about their historical roots. Meanwhile, grandparents can also look after the children while parents work. This setup is advantageous to parents because they can work knowing there is someone who will take good care of the children. Moreover, the setup also makes the family more well-knit and the teaching of Jewish beliefs and traditions easier. Non-normative stressors are also present in our family. These non-normative stressors are either positive or negative. One of the negative non-normative stressors was the time my grandfather Chaim died of lung cancer. Grandpa was a strong man. Until the end of his life, he showed us his courage to fight all the pains he felt. From his example, I learned to be brave in handling troubles that could come my way. He was always cheerful and made us feel loved and cared for. Grandfather also showed a good example of marriage. He expressed his love to my grandmother until his death, and grandmother took care of him when he was hospitalized. Grandmother cried throughout the day my grandfather died. We were also by her side because in the Jewish culture, it is a common practice to stay with the dead until he or she is buried within 24 hours. During our lamentation, I realized how important my grandfather was to our family because he was the head and if not for him, all of us would have not lived. We paid him respect not only for being the eldest in the family but for the love and support he gave each of us. Another non-normative stressor our family faced was related to our historical background. Historical events have a remarkable effect on my family. My mother lost her aunts and uncles in the Holocaust, and such tragedy has contributed to make our family strong. It has led us and my mother’s family to always cherish one another. All my mother’s uncles and aunts were believed to have died in the Holocaust but something amazing happened just before my grandfather Chaim. He received a phone call from his brother in Russia and they spoke after not seeing each other for forty years. My grandfather was very happy; he paid to have him come to the US. When he arrived, we celebrated and felt lucky once again for finding another member of our family. I believe that the memories of the Holocaust, though in the remote past, will always be in the consciousness of every Jew. Whenever we spend Shabbat, we recall the struggles of our great grandparents and how God responded to their prayers for salvation. Today, although we have recovered from the dark experience, we can still imagine the sufferings our ancestors went through and we pray for their souls to reach salvation. Personally, I appreciate our family structure. I am proud to say that unlike other clans, our family does not have a history of divorce or separation. All my aunts and uncles on both sides of the family are committed to their marriage. That is because in our culture, gender roles in the family are clear and so are rules regarding sexuality. Homosexuality, gender transformation, sex change, etc. are a taboo in our culture. Thus, it is very rare to find disoriented couples and children. Although there are some who stay single until old age, most are encouraged to marry and establish a family. When I get married, I will see to it that my children will practice our own traditions and cultures. I will strive to make my future family the “center of love and support” (Lamanna & Riedman 5). My children will feel proud of their family and culture. We will always observe traditional practices and togetherness to help nurture our relationships and transmit beliefs. Nevertheless, I also appreciate the diversity of culture in America. I have established close friendships with some of my schoolmates who are not Jews and I believe that the differences among us make our lives more interesting and motivating to live. My parents do not prohibit me from making friends with other people. However, there are some limitations in the places we go to, in the food we eat, etc. In particular, kosher rules dictate that only animals with cloven hooves and that chew their cud can be eaten. Also, only fish with scales and fins can be eaten and no shellfish is permitted. Dairy products cannot be cooked or eaten with meat or poultry. These rules make it difficult to go out and dine with friends because I always have to explain things to them. As a result, I prefer to have friends who are Jewish. Overall, I appreciate the family structure we have and find it comfortable to live with my family. As my source of love and support, my family motivates and inspires me to continue attaining good education. I am confident that I will succeed because they make me feel secure. I know that they will be there any time I need help, and they will always accept me despite my weaknesses. Works Cited Bartov, Omer. Holocaust: Origins, Implementation, Aftermath. London: Taylor and Francis, 2000. Print. Lamanna, Mary Ann and Agness C. Riedmann. Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society. NY: Cengage Learning, 2008. Print. Read More