Why do people need self esteem - Essay Example

?Running Head: SELF ESTEEM Self Esteem [The Self Esteem Introduction Everyone has self-esteem. What self-esteem is and how to measure it is not important. An individuals needs to focus on learning the unique causes of low self-esteem, factors that create high self-esteem, and that the effects of low-self esteem can be devastating. The significance and rationale for having self esteem can be well imagined by these words, “People with high self esteem know more about themselves.” (Campbell, 1990) Many would agree that positive attitudes about ourselves, our capabilities and accomplishments ideally should arise from our own evaluation of ourselves. Approval, applause and praise from others are enjoyable and it can certainly feel good to be on the receiving end of it, but the appraisal of us by others should not determine our sense of self-worth. individuals sometimes get in a bind trying to feel good about ourselves yet not wanting to come off appearing too conceited to others. It is the very act of needing to take into account how individuals lose genuine self-esteem. Instead, allow yourself to be your own judge of who you are. individuals cannot control how others feel but individuals can control how individuals feel about ourselves. Self-esteem means you can continue to consider yourself as an OK person despite being less than perfect. As narrated by DuBois in his article, “A high level of overall self esteem is generally facilitative of health and well being, but that these benefits can be obscured when maladaptive strategies are relied on to acquire and sustain positive self evaluations.” (DuBois and Flay, 2004) As humans, individuals have a wonderful array of complexities and contradictions. individuals may be misunderstanding the experience of self-esteem if individuals only accept and applaud ourselves when individuals have done good and repeatedly put ourselves down when individuals have messed up. “High self-esteem connotes a feeling of being accepted and valued by others, whereas low self-esteem is derived from social rejection and the failure to maintain close bonds. In support of this view, research has shown that self-esteem is strongly affected by information conveying the degree to which one is accepted and valued by other people.” (Leary, Tambor, Terdal, & Downs, 1995). In social acceptability, self esteem is highly valued. Most of success and failures are bound with the interrelationship of our personality and self esteem level it carries. “We manage our existential terror by creating and putting our faith into a cultural worldview, and through the self-esteem that comes from living up to the standards of this worldview (Pyszczynski, et. al. 2004)”. Besides this, self esteem also has certain connections with level of anxiety and worry faced by an individual. “People need self-esteem to buffer the anxiety and avoid being paralyzed by it, so they can move forward toward their important goals. To get self-esteem, people must believe in a cultural worldview that specifies standards for what makes a person valuable, and they must believe they satisfy those standards.” (Crocker & Nuer, 2004) Existential terror shatters the personality and psychology of the sufferers badly and adversely. “The dual components of cultural worldview and self-esteem mitigate the effects of existential terror, and that reminders of one’s mortality lead to the need for these psychological structures. This is known as the mortality salience hypothesis” (Pyszczynski et al., 2004) Why Self Esteem necessary for Student? Students make a large portion of population. They remain anxious and ambitious about their performance, competence and results in the examination. This creates a lot of worry and wonder for them. But, if self esteem is at high level, a student may feel relieved. They can achieve the highest goal with their high self esteem. “Pursuing self-esteem is an effective solution to the problem of anxiety, that it helps people achieve their important goals, and that pursuing self-esteem is the only means for doing so.” (Pyszczynski, et. al. 2004) as far as their examination grades are concerned Crocker & Nuer, present their view in these words, “The pursuit of self-esteem can actually exacerbate anxiety. For example, regardless of their actual grades or level of self-esteem, students who base their self-esteem on their academic performance report more time pressure, conflicts with professors, dissatisfaction with their performance, and less intrinsic motivation. (Crocker & Nuer, 2004) Teachers must realize the importance of good self-esteem and how parents desire their children to maintain it. Since children’s self-evaluation begins in early childhood, teachers’ positive interaction with children expands self-esteem development. (Wideman, et. al. 1982) As children develop into students, they better understand how others view their skills and better distinguish between their efforts and abilities. Teachers have to come across new activities or assignments that look like fun to the child. This helps them realize that they must keep learning fun so the child can always enjoy it. (Stringer, et. al. 2003) For example, a teacher watching her students build a wall collage for his or her classroom had showed that their efforts were disadvantaged when more than about five children were working on it at the same time. The teacher then decided to share his or her observations with the children and suggested that they try to work out a schedule so that no more than four or five of them at a time were working on the project at the same time. Self-esteem development plays an important role in academic success. Parents and teachers must stay aware of children feeling of being loved; children capability of being successful; and how communication is the building blocks to successful development of children self-esteem, other than praise. (Battle, 1990) In the end, it is up to the parent and teacher to do in order to ensure positive results. The less interaction with your children, resorts to self-esteem issues. Culture also has certain impact on self esteem in school and academic setting. “It has been argued that values are ultimately culturally derived, and that while values serve other social functions they ultimately provide contingencies of self-worth that may be affected by reminders of mortality (Pyszczynski & Cox, 2004). Success and its Relations with Self Esteem Successes and failures in teenage years and adulthood also contribute as the major factor of self-esteem levels. This is strongest in academic achievement. However, this does apply to success and failures in other areas from finding and holding a job to being convicted for a crime - any success one would want the public to know about, and any failure one wouldn't. (Kelley, 1978) Gender has a minor influence. Females on average have a slightly lower self-esteem than males. This is most present in females in their late teens (Bullock, 1993). (Pufall, & Unsworth2004) Personality variations are also a direct impact of self esteem variations. “Two main underlying differences are associated with trait self esteem. One is self concept confusion: people with low self esteem are likely to have a through, consistent stable stock of self knowledge than people with half self esteem” (Campbell, 1990) Conclusion An individual's opinion of oneself has a directly connected to how they live all parts of their life. It influences the kinds of friends they choose, how they get along with others, the kind of person they marry, and how productive they are. Their creativity, honesty, stability are affected. Self-esteem even dictates whether they are a leader or follower. Their feelings of self-worth form their personality and determine how much use they make of their talents and abilities. People with low self-confidence often don't trust their own ability to make effective decisions. Low self-esteem can affect relationships with significant others as well. If someone do not like themselves, it is difficult to truly like others and share themselves with another person. It is also very difficult to accept love and affection from other people if they do not love themselves first. Some teens who feel this way cover it up by drinking and using drugs and being the life of the party. Others are angry and isolated and can take their mood out on others around them. The real truth is that these individuals are most likely very sad inside and need support and encouragement to change these destructive ways. Low self-confidence is a state of mind. Outside influences only become influences when they are believed in. Self-esteem is raised when the individual changes the perception of themselves. An individual must figure out who they are. The first step in changing oneself is to find what the causes are of that particular individual's low self-esteem. Once these causes are found, the individual must learn to accept these flaws and emphasis their thoughts on their talents. Everyone has imperfections. Next, the individual needs to make their own decisions and take control of their lives. If they allow 'fate' or others to control their life, then they'll never accomplish what they want in life. Whenever negative thoughts enter the mind, they must be discarded immediately and replaced with a positive one. Thoughts can be controlled. An individual cannot rely on other people to raise their self-esteem. Get involved. Trying a new hobby can help to discover unique skills. Joining a team or club can lead to new, positive friendships. Volunteering for a charity has its own fulfillment. Even if the individual finds that they are not good at what they try, they will realize that they had the courage to try it, and will be more likely to try other things. One must think about whom they are, not what they accomplish. The most basic factor of raising self-esteem is being good to oneself. Get enough sleep every night, eat properly in proportion, exercise or meditate, read, and take time out for oneself. Also, set goals for the future. This gives an individual something to work towards. It builds the knowledge of oneself and improves their overall lifestyle. Reference Battle, J. (1990) Self-esteem: The new revolution. James Battle & Associates, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Kelley, T.M. (1978). Changes in self-esteem among pre-delinquent youths in voluntary         counseling relationships: Juvenile and Family Court Journal, volume 29. Wideman, Marilyn E.; Boden, Ross E. (1982) An Evaluation of Student Self-Esteem in Scarborough Schools. Toronto: Scarborough Board of Education. Pyszczynski, T., & Cox, C. (2004). Can We Really Do Without Self-Esteem? Comment on Crocker and Park (2004). Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 425-429. Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why Do People Need Self-Esteem? A Theoretical and Empirical Review. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 435-468. Crocker, J. & Nuer, N. (2004). Do People Need Self-Esteem?: Comment on Pyszczynski et al. (2004). Psychological Bulletin, 130, 469-472. Leary, M. R., Tambour, E.S., Terdal, S.K. & Downs, D.L. (1995). Self-esteem as an interpersonal monitor: the sociometer hypothesis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68, 518 – 530 DuBois, D. L. & Flay, B. R. (2004). The Healthy Pursuit of Self-Esteem: Comment on and Alternative to the Crocker and Park (2004) Formulation. Psychological Bulletin, 130, 415-420. Campbell, J. D. (1990) Self-esteem and clarity of the self-concept. Journal of Personality and Social 5 Psychology, 59, 538-549. Bullock, J. (1993, November). Shy kids: Don't shy away! Education Digest, Vol. 5 Issue 3, p57. Stringer, S. & Reynolds, G. & Simpson, M. (2003, March). Collaboration between classroom teachers and a school counselor through literature circles: building self-esteem. Journal of Instructional Psychology, Vol. 30 Issue 1, p69. Read More