Why Leaving Home Can Be Difficult - Essay Example

Leaving Home Can be Difficult Leaving home is viewed differently according to culture, ethnical orientation, and other factors influencing the decision. The diversity in factors that need to be examined in terms of both the parent’s perceived values and preferences, as well as those of the children, who are most affected by the transition. The main objective of the essay is to proffer and identify the common issues people face, especially in coping with change and managing the neutral zone in between leaving home (in the metaphorical sense of the known world) and being settled in a new life. The challenges and trials would be determined with the aim of proposing the most appropriate solution. The discourse aims to initially determine the general reasons for children leaving home; as well as indicate the advantages and disadvantages of the decision. Finally, recommendations to address identified challenges would be stipulated prior to a concluding remark. Reasons Why Children Leave Home Primarily, the decision to leave home when children reach a defined age of maturity differs according to culture and ethnical orientation. As revealed by Goldscheider and Goldscheider, “variation in premarital residential independence is linked in part to the use of a foreign language and foreignness. Residential concentration and ecological and religious institutional contexts are important factors as are the values associated with religious denomination and religiosity. These findings suggest the continuing importance of ethnicity and religiosity as critical elements shaping family norms” (Abstract, par. 1). More families in western culture encourage young adults to leave home, in contrast to eastern society. According to a research written by Zorlu and Mulder (five major factors influence the decision to leave home, to wit: individual resources, parental economic resources, the quality of the parental home, family structure, and the residential context (Zorlu and Mulder, 55 – 56). Young enterprising people, who have stable sources of income, have been found to have increased tendencies to support and sustain an independent life. Most young adults who have opted to pursue higher education live separately from parents. This information was validated by the research conducted by Bernhardt, et al.(2005) and Mulder and Hooimeijer (2002) who both contended that “enrollment in higher education is frequently associated with a step toward residential independence, either to live alone, or to share with roommates” (cited in Zorlu and Mulder, 55). The income of parents were revealed to influence children leaving home in terms of indicating that parents envision to prevent younger adults to pursue early marriages; while encourage older children to leave (Avery, et al, 1992; as cited by Zorlu and Mulder, 55). Concurrent and related to this, the quality of the parental home, manifested in the space provided for access and comfort significantly affects the decision of children to leave or stay. The family structure defines the kind of parental roles enforced – either as two supportive parents, single parents, and number of siblings or dysfunctional relationships – where children opt to leave in troublesome and more chaotic familial environment. Finally, the residential context takes into account the environmental characteristics within which the parental residence is situated. As revealed, children opt to choose leaving the home when the neighborhood is considered less attractive and located in distant situations from school or place of work. Advantages and Disadvantages of Leaving Home The Perth and Kinross Council have clearly enumerated advantages and disadvantages of leaving home. The following advantages are prominent: independence and experiencing freedom, enjoying complete privacy, not having someone commanding or demanding things to be done, avoiding clashes with parents or siblings, not having to share household or domestic tasks, and being free from bonds of family problems (Perth and Kinross, 7). Parallel with the factors that influenced children to leave home, such as pursuing higher education, or finding employment in distant location from the parental home, the feeling of independence, freedom, and taking accountability for one’s actions are the most enticing benefits for leaving home – only if the individual is intellectually, emotionally and financially prepared to support and sustain current and future expenses. Children who enjoy privacy and times of solitary comfort would appreciate maintaining a domicile of their own. On the other hand, the disadvantages of leaving home are: shouldering all the expenses of maintaining a residential place, assuming the risks of adapting and adjusting to a new neighborhood, having to do all the household chores, lack of communication and interpersonal relationship from family (Perth and Kinross, 7). The prime and crucial element of consideration is the economic cost of maintaining and sustaining independence. Young adults must be capable and equipped to earn a stable income to support daily needs and to sustain living away from one’s family. The level of maturity should also be adept to cope with the demands of being alone and independent to learn to adapt and adjust to the new environment, in the company of new friends and acquaintances. Analysis and Personal Contention From the abovementioned information, one is made to support the argument that leaving home is a decision that must be made with a mature and responsible stance and perspective. Initially, the decision should not be opted out of cultural factors without the support and guidance of the parents, in conjunction with the intellectual, emotional and economic stability and preparedness of the young adult to be independent. The young adult could only support and sustain living away from parents if there is enough and considerable stream of financial resources to sustain current and future needs. Otherwise, children who initially left home find their way back to their parents’ residences. The discourse written by Stephen A. Bly entitled Help! My Adult Child Won’t Leave Home has acknowledged that more ‘boomerang kids’, defined as “young adults who either continue living at home after high school or college or return to live with their parents after living on their own for a time” (Bly, 6) exist in contemporary American society due to economic reasons, a deterioration in marriage, a push towards quality career, the comfort of parental homes, and a seemingly extended adolescent behavior. These factors attest to the level of financial, intellectual and emotional immaturity that precluded them from successfully retaining independence. Difficulties and challenges are in store and should be expected by young adults who decide to leave their parental abode. From the experiences of Pi, in Martel’s novel entitled Life of Pi, one realized the precarious nature and vulnerability faced by people struggling to survive in nontraditional environments that put lives in jeopardy. Pi’s experiences in the cannibalistic island (from the acidity of the island’s floor at night to the fruit that the island plants produce) is analogous to the challenges of leaving home in terms of the risks and dangers that are eminently inherent in strange surroundings (encountering people with notorious orientations, living in chaotic neighborhoods, struggling to make ends meet) that inhabitants must be holistically qualified and equipped to overcome them to ensure survival. Likewise, there are also anxieties that could possibly be faced by the children leaving parental homes in terms of the willingness of parents to accommodate them. As Bly indicated, parents must not apologize or be intimidated when children return home. He averred that “success is not determined by economic good fortune, scholastic achievements, social popularity, or how rapidly or slowly children pull away from their parents” (Bly, 15). At the same token, children should not be apprehensive to return to their parents, despite the negative feedbacks, because the parents’ abode are the most secure and safe place children could be anywhere and anytime within their life span. The only time this event is negated is when parents experience more problems in terms of economic, mental and emotional support that could be accorded to returning adult children and their return would compromise living conditions of all concerned. Recommendation and Conclusion Leaving home can only be difficult if the young adult is not holistically prepared for the decision at hand. The most appropriate way to address the dilemma is for parents to ensure that children are accorded the benefits of education to develop their physical, mental, and emotional skills, in conjunction with knowledge and abilities that would be gained through various levels of academic pursuit. Further, exposure and orientation to traditional spiritual and religious values assist in providing guidance and determination to seek divine intervention and assistance in times of challenges and difficulties. Then again, this is a matter of cultural orientation and personal judgment. Only the individual, himself, can determine the level of maturity and preparedness in deciding to live independently from one’s family. Internal and external factors assist, influence and significantly affect the decision to leave home and be able to support and sustain living independently and successfully through the future. Works Cited Avery, R., Goldscheider, F., and Speare, A., Jr. “Feathered nest/gilded cage: Parental income and leaving home in the transition to adulthood.” Demography, Volume 29, pp. 375 – 388. 1992. Print. Bernhardt, E., Gahler, M. and Goldscheider, F. “Childhood family structure and routes out of the parental home in Sweden.” Acta Sociologica, Volume 48, pp. 99 – 115. 2005. Print. Bly, Stephen A. Help! My Adult Child Won’t Leave Home. Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois. 2006. Print. Goldscheider, Calvin and Goldscheider, Frances K. “Ethnicity, religiosity and leaving home: The structural and cultural bases of traditional family values.” Sociological Forum, Volume 3, Number 4, 525-547, DOI: 10.1007/BF01115413. Martel, Yann. Life of Pi. Canada: Random House of Canada, 2001. Print. Mulder, C.H. and Hooimeijer, P. “Leaving home in the Netherlands: Timing and first housing.” Journal of Housing and the Built Environment, Volume 17, pp. 237 – 268. 2002. Print. Perth and Kinross Council. “Leaving Home? Think Again” Homeless Education Programme. April 2010. Web. 09 May2011. < http://www.pkc.gov.uk/NR/rdonlyres/5D226722-98C4-4FBC-8DC0-38D66D2F61E4/0/homelessnessprogramme.pdf> Zorlu, Aslan and Mulder, Clara H. “Ethnic Differences in Leaving Home: Timing and Pathways.” Demography, Volume 48, pp. 49 – 72. 3 February 2011. Print. Read More