Interpersonal Conflict - Essay Example

?Naseem G.H. Chagani Order 529594 Academia-Research Analysis Paper- Interpersonal Conflict 28 April “Interpersonal Conflict” A relationship, abusiness deal, a conversation, a discussion, an affair or any such thing that is between any two persons is called “Interpersonal”. Each person has his own values related to his religion, cultural background, ethics, physique, psyche, experience, education, wealth, prestige, family environment, school environment, workplace environment and inheritance. These values are fully part of his life and which a person uses generally to take his decisions in the day to day happenings of life. When any two or more persons interact it may be possible that they disagree because of their different values. One person may say “Yes” and another one may say “No”. Whenever such a situation arises, discussions occur. When differences grow, discussions are turned into arguments. When arguments get louder, a “Conflict” occurs. So “Interpersonal Conflict” is a position where a person disagrees to another person’s view or value to the extent of rejection. When we analyze we find many causes for the occurrence of a conflict. The most common and root causes are ignorance, intolerance, greed, unrealistic wishes, opposition, jealousy, arrogance and super power. When we go into the reasons of these root causes we find many of these are due to acquiring of power, the strength and energy that makes you feel above others. There are five common ways of acquiring power. First is access to resources. It can be in the form of wealth, property, comforts or authority. Abundant resources create arrogance and super power. Scarce resources create despondency, intolerance, unrealistic wishes and opposition. Second is expertise. When a person becomes skillful and highly talented, he is recognized with rewards. He acquires prestige that generates in him pride. When pride makes a person proud, humility is vanished resulting in arrogance and super natural feelings. Third reason is the social status. It is the position in which people around you respect you and approach you for their needs. This could be because of a person’s outstanding services, contacts with influential people, cultural beliefs and practices or welfare activities for the society in which he leaves. When a person reaches such a status, he feels he is above those around him and seeks to implement protocols and securities. Fourth reason is the personality. It is the inherited or God gifted abilities, physique or outstanding achievements in the field of art or science. You are recognized and known for your achievements not only locally but also nationally as well as internationally. You become renowned and with that comes wealth, authority, prestige and fan following. Fifth reason is the intimacy. It is the love and affection and the feeling of nearness that continues to expand until it reaches oneness. When intimacy reaches oneness, it creates immense fulfillment and accomplishment. You feel you have conquered the world. Let us discuss three separate conflict situations and see how it has been handled by the interacting personalities. The first conflict situation is the most unforgettable incident of 9/11. This is the example of “abundant resources of one country and ultra scarce resources of the other country”. On one side it was The United States of America, who had tremendous amount of resources in the form of military equipments, army, air and sea forces, strategic power and democratically elected effective government and on the other side it was Pakistan a small, ultra poor, under developed and militarily ruled country. USA raged a global war against the terror and blamed that the attack of 9/11 in New York, was planned by Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan. Pakistan was asked by USA to support the war on terror or face the consequences. Pakistan government had no choice due to military supremacy of US. Pakistan managed this conflict by “accommodation” and “collaboration”. The consequences of this approach was that the war with USA was avoided but “Wikipedia Contributors state that the Terrorism in Pakistan has become the most serious problem in recent years due to the government allying itself with the United States in the global war on terror” The second conflict situation is the example of intimacy. A newly wed couple, husband and wife came to live in our neighbor. The wife was a house wife and used to stay at home. She cooked delicious dishes for her husband. They always took dinner in the evening together when the husband returned home from his job. One day, as soon as her husband left, the wife went out. That day her husband came early from office in the afternoon and when he did not find her, he became worried. He called his in laws but no one picked up phone there. As the time passed by, the husband’s worry started to convert into suspicion and then into assumptions such as her wife had affair with someone else. Her wife returned home. It was just before the normal evening time when her husband used to return daily from job. As the husband saw the wife, he lost is temper and started shouting at her. But to his utmost surprise he saw that his mother-in-law followed her. She said “Why are you so angry. We had gone to see the doctor. You are going to become father”. As the husband learned this, he realized his mistake and felt extremely sorry about what he thought and what he said to his wife. She was very upset but managed the conflict situation by saying “You are absolutely crazy and mad! Have faith and trust in some one you love so much!” The conflict was managed by “avoidance” as she too loved her husband very much and ready to sacrifice everything for him! The third conflict situation is the example of social status. This is the story given by “Charles (Chip) Hauss in August 2003: William Ury begins the first chapter of The Third Side with a simple story. Two friends of his were almost run over by a speeding car. One of his friends got angry and smashed the hood of the car with his fist. The driver, infuriated, stormed out of the car. It turns out that the driver was black; Ury's friends are white. So, this rapidly escalating conflict immediately also took on racial overtones. Then, an elderly black man came up and put his hands down as if to say, "OK, cool it." As Ury finishes the story, "the young man visibly struggled to control himself, then suddenly walked back to his car, got in, and drove off without another word."[1] The conflict approach adapted here by young man was avoidance and tolerance. All the three case studies given above give us clear message. The scarcity and abundance of resources is one of the most common reasons for frequent conflicts. Wars were always fought to control the resources such as land, water and wealth. Resources are directly related to comforts or hardships, safety or hazard and life or death of the people. To manage a conflict we have to choose only one from the three available as stated by “Charles (Chip) Hauss: Flight, Fight or Unite.” We manage conflict by “flight” means we tolerate and bear the other persons views or values and slip out from the conflict. The result of such an approach is interim relief. When the same conflict occurs repeatedly and avoided continuously, it may end up in a permanent grief. We manage conflict by “fight” means we put all our energy and resources to overcome the opponent no matter how much abuses, rages or violence occurs. The result of such an approach is never good. It ends up in war, injury, crime, courts, punishments and deaths. We manage conflict by “unite” means we listen to each others views, respect each others values and be generous to give away some thing more than usual. We become collaborative and accommodative. The result of such an approach is always good. It ends up in peace, happiness, welfare and hope for better future! Works Cited [1] William Ury, The Third Side. (New York: Penguin, 2000), 3. Hauss, Charles (Chip). "Interpersonal Conflict and Violence." Beyond Intractability. Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict Research Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Posted: August 2003 . “Wikipedia contributors. ‘Terrorism in Pakistan.’ Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 27 Apr. 2011. Web. 29 Apr. 2011.” The above citation was taken from the Wikipedia referred page. Read More