Interpersonal Communication Process - Essay Example

? We cannot not communicate. This is the beauty in communication. It is what makes it complex. More often than not, a person would insist to be left alone and think. However, in the end, he or she would seek another person in order to unburden himself or herself of problems or things that bother him or her. In its most basic definition, communication is the process in which an element (message) is transmitted from a source (speaker) to a listener through a channel. There are four levels of communication: intrapersonal, interpersonal, group, and mass mediated. Related to this, the prefix “intra” means from within, thus, intrapersonal communication is communicating with the self. This is said to be the foundation of our communication skills. When one knows “thy self”, he or she will not have difficulty entering the next level of communication which is interpersonal communication. When a child is forbidden to socialize with neighbors, he or she will definitely have the tendencies to become shy and aloof and eventually becoming a loner. Interpersonal communication becomes very difficult to manage even at this point. Interpersonal communication can be divided into two: dyad (two persons) and small-group (three to seven). At this point, the basic communication pattern that exists is the transferring of information. This is called the asking-giving information process. Primarily, what people ask each other during the first meeting is somehow demographic: name, age, school enrolled in, course, etc. If person A has not been trained to see or socialize with others, it would be difficult to manage even the simplex dyad A would experience in school or any other place for that matter. The most perfect example of a group communication is what exists in the family. A family which is open and constantly communicating with one another can resolve problems faster. Public communication is coping through with what we need to do every day, say in the classroom, at the office during meetings, etc. On the other hand, mediated communication is one of the easiest ways to communicate with people who are from afar by the aid of technology. One of the dangers of mediated communication is that it is not a face to face communication unlike interpersonal and public communication. Sincerity in communication is very important, thus, non-verbal cues also play a very important role in communication. But why do people communicate? The answer could any be of the following functions of communication: utilitarian, therapeutic, recording-transmitting, and affective function of communication. According to Heath lecture, there are three meta-theories mentioned: rules, systems, and critical/cultural studies. I would like to discuss in this paper the meta-theory on rules. According to Heath, people learn to communicate because they have learned the rules of the game. At this case, communication is the game. As we all know, there are certain rules in communication. We must remember that there are six elements in communication: speaker, listener, message, channel, noise, and feedback. In order for communication to become successful, a correct feedback must be given by the listener. That is why, when the source of the message speaks, the receiver listens. That is the basic rule. We cannot talk at the same time, otherwise, we may not be able to resolve a thing. Furthermore, Heath added that people make strategic choices in their communication behavior because communication is a “game”, people learn its rules and strive to behave in ways that conform to those rules. A good example for that is when we are meeting a particular person for the first time. The very first thing we do is to ask information about this person. So he is Japanese. Would a hand shake be polite? The other person is Middle Eastern. What could be a polite or impolite gesture? When we learn something about the people we meet allow us to prepare ourselves with the mechanics of communication. Moreover, doing so will consequently put us out of trouble. Have you ever wondered why we say “no” differently to various people? We say “no” quite differently when we speak with our parents and it does not sound the same as we do when we say “no” to our teachers or friends. This is so because there are rules. The meta-theory on rules basically enlightens us that we take roles in communication. There is what they call taking turns. Waiting for your turn to speak is not only being polite but allows an individual to access what the other is trying to say and making sure that when it is his time to speak, he talks with sense, thus, they could move on from one topic to another. Remember that communication is successful only when something is resolved. We speak differently from others. This is so because through the years, we have developed our own rules in communicating with other people. We have our own rules because we communicate differently from other people. The manner in which we communicate is the product of practice and upbringing. Being a rational being, we tend to retain behaviors that enabled us to get the rewards of communication. We know the rules in communication because they are observable. We need to conform to what is acceptable in a particular situation. However, there is also the borrowed rules which are also important in order for us to get along with others. We must not insist on doing our way all the time. After all, maintaining relationships in a by-product of communication. Thus, why do we say then that we cannot not communicate. We communicate because we want to learn something. We will not dare approach another person when we know already the answer to a question. This is specially discussed in the information theory. According to the information theory, information and uncertainty are closely related In addition, information refers to the degree of uncertainty present in a situation. The larger the uncertainty removed by a message, the stronger the correlation between the input and output of a communication channel, the more detailed particular instructions are, the more information is transmitted. Uncertainty also related to unpredictability. When something is completely predictable, it is completely certain. Therefore, it contains very little, if any, information. Thus, the relationship between rules and information theory is the manner in which people can get the rewards of an interaction. This is depending now on whether he or she uses his own rules or borrow from other people. It may depend now solely on the situation he or she is into at that moment. The information theory simply put it that people communicate the resolve something. We resolve only the things that are uncertain or unclear. We usually do not focus on what is predictable but exert our effort on the “what ifs” just like the meta-theory on rules. On the other hand, there are also rules to follow particularly in interpersonal communication. We could laugh out loud and talk out loud when we are in the company of our friends and family members but we cannot do the same when we are in the office together with our bosses. We also take into consideration what they call proxemics, the use of space in relation to people. We always sat across our boss during conversation not beside them. We can always share a seat with a friend in some cases. We use phrases like, “excuse me, pardon me, I beg your pardon” when we didn’t get the message right the first time. We simply say “what?” when we are with friends. These are rules that we observe but come naturally for most of us. There is a big debate whether to include mass mediated communication as a form of communication. As we all know, communication must be face to face in order for one to give a feedback in an instance. Fortunately, most media nowadays allow us to do so but we cannot simply label the use of Skype as a face-to-face communication. Nonetheless, the use of mediated communication has become an instrument to reach a larger audience. A message from one part of the world can travel around the world in less than an hour making it the fastest way of sharing information and messages. Unfortunately, there are times when users go beyond what is acceptable in the use of media. Somehow, since the internet is relatively a new media, there are no stricter rules yet to define what are and what are not acceptable in mediated communication. What a person can do now is to rely on the ethics on mass communication for guidance not to forget his own set of rules and values. It is important to note that this paper discusses the importance of communication, particularly its benefits and functions. Although communication seems to be just a part of our daily routine, almost everything relies unto how we manage it. What we get out of life is dependent on how good or bad we communicate with other people. We do get what we want by working hard and communicating harder. When I was younger, I always thought that by simply perfecting a math quiz can get me to the top of my class. I was wrong. My classmates who expressed themselves confidently are the ones getting the attention. We do not get the attention we want when we do not speak ourselves out. I learn from the books I read but I also learn a lot from the people I talk to. We cannot negotiate by simply writing, we negotiate by verbally exchanging ideas. By becoming aware of rules and systems in communication, I can never go wrong. Read More