Marriage Paper - Essay Example

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Paper # 3- Marriage Paper- 2011.doc Making Marriage Work Full name Mt. San Jacinto College, Menefee, CA Communication 103 Date Mrs. Berokoff This paper aims to examine the validity of the theories or concepts regarding intimate relationships presented by Gottman and Chapman and other sources discussed in class…
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Marriage Paper
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Download file to see previous pages The subject of this study is a couple, Grace and Carl who have been married for sixteen years whom I consider to be my friends. I called Carl asking if I could meet them at their house knowing that they are both busy with their jobs and children, and requesting them to spare me at least thirty minutes for the interview to which they gladly agreed to. Carl and Grace are, a common couple who sought out to develop a relationship with each other looking out for attributes they considered important to a relationship. Though circumstances in their jobs brought them together, things did not come to them as a result of the situation but they both purposefully looked out for the things they wanted in a partner. The criteria they used in the development of their relationship are appearance, similarity, complementary, reciprocal attraction and matching hypothesis. These are evident as their answers during the interview will give light to what they think about themselves and their relationship. According to the couple, the primary measure they looked for in finding the right partner was physical appearance. Grace says she wants her partner to be good looking and well-dressed, meaning he is educated and has the means to provide for his personal needs. Carl on the other hand is just like any other man who sought to have a girlfriend with aesthetic qualities not only on the face and shape but on the inside as well. Both claim to have been physically attracted to each other the time they were introduced by mutual friends and they considered and hoped seeing each other again. Carl thought her new found friend might just be the perfect match for him because they are both independent and working on the same level of business so that he made the effort of taking Grace’s phone number to which the lady thankfully responded positively so that the former was able to get in touch with her in the following days. When they first dated, Carl and Grace found out that they have similar interests and beliefs. They both were involved in sports; Carl loves to play basketball while Grace plays lawn tennis. They are both active people, not wanting to be bound at home by a partner or any other thing like children and chores, not that they are not willing to do household jobs but they believe their lives would be more exciting and fulfilling if they have a variety of activities. Of course they also have their differences but they look at their distinguishing features on a positive light, finding them to be complementary of what the other lacks (Fitzpatrick). For instance, Carl loves food and loves to cook, which Grace praises so much because she claims not to distinguish a pan from a pot which is of course an understatement to her culinary knowledge. Carl on the other hand is the forgetful type of guy and is always thankful for having a loving wife who patiently finds time to work an extra hour listing her husband’s schedules and needed materials, arranging them in a fashion that Carl could not just miss to notice. Carl claims to have found the notes placed by Grace in his wallet every now and then, reminding him of their children’s birthdays, schedule of activities and other meetings especially when work calls most of his time for travel, being a businessman. Deciding to get married was such an easy task for the couple at the time they agreed to stay together forever because they were so in love and found each other the right persons. Grace says Carl had all the ...Download file to see next pagesRead More
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