Communication and Conflict Chapter 7 - Essay Example

(The case mentioned Enrique believing that “he and Monica had a clear[er] picture of one another.”) These are the perceived incompatible goals. It is natural that in courtships, couples tend to put their best foot forward, to make the other feel special, and to show the other that his or her desires are paramount to her or him, which however is abandoned when one enters into marriage because pretensions are shed (Ziglar, 2004). The conflict appears to have reached a productive phase when Monica offered her explanation that what she meant about “forget about the job” was only for a short enough time to enjoy a night out, not to forget about it entirely; however, it re-entered a destructive phase when she appeared to accuse Enrique of not listening to her.

On the other hand, Enrique tried to enter the constructive phase when he began to apologize to Monica, but vacillated towards the destructive phase again when he took issue with her comment to listen to her as an accusation, and stormed out to a friend’s house. IV Power Power is not openly discussed, but it is an issue apparently from Enrique’s side. . The power currency Monica makes use of appears to be her feigned interest in Enrique’s job, and Enrique’s power currency is his attempt at apology and the physical contact he initiated, possibly conveying his use of affection as bargaining chip.

Both Monica and Enrique felt that their spouse was trying to exert his /her power over her/him. Actually, it was more likely that they felt threatened when no threat was actually meant. Enrique felt he should exert his power as the breadwinner, and Monica felt she might exert her influence over him by cajoling and acting sweet. She over-interprets his actions as being akin to her parents’ actions; he over-interprets her words (“forget the job” and “why don’t you listen to me?”) as a challenge to his power and an accusation that he is inadequate (“I wish I had some pull”; “Doesn’t she see how much I’m trying, how hard I’m working?”). Both parties perceived each other’s style as manipulative (Enrique of Monica) and unsympathetic (Monica of Enrique). V. Style While individuals use their own distinctive styles in a conflict, the conflict also takes on a style of its own (Chapter 7:223).

At first, Monica was sweet and playful showing support and encouragement (“you’re up for a promotion, right?” while Enrique showed nonchalance and seriousness. After the conflict began, Monica protested innocence (“I didn’t say you should forget it, Enrique. I said let’s do something else for awhile…”) and then hurt (getting up to silently do the dishes, or saying “I wish you would listen to what I’m saying.”), while Jack shows anger (“Forget about the job! How am I supposed to do that?”) and then conciliation (“I’ll come back later to pick you up for pizza).

Later both revert to