Building Self Esteem and Feeling Better About Yourself - Essay Example

?Psychology of Self Esteem Building Self Esteem and Feeling Better About Yourself - A Practical How to Guide Summary Building self esteem can be achieved in 5 easy steps involving positivism in looking at your own self and others, as well, and by building a realistic and positive outlook in life. By following the 5 steps as a habit in life, self esteem, self confidence, and self worth can be developed, thus achieving happiness. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned The five steps in building self esteem according to Hampson are: (1) being gentle with yourself, (2) accentuating the positive in building self esteem, (3) seeing the good in others, (4) decreasing watching TV, and (5) growing self esteem and confidence through changing habits. In connection with the busy lifestyle where there is high standard of performance expectations and extreme pressure at work, family, and, society, people oftentimes get easily exhausted or stressed out, feel depressed, and, in worst case, some resorts to attempting suicide. Being optimistic could somehow, lighten the burden of these pressures. Inculcating positivism in our personality is a long term process that starts from within and extended to others. An optimistic person does not easily surrender to life’s challenges. With good foundation of self esteem, self confidence, and self worth, having a sustainable happy life is not far to be achieved. This article teaches us to develop optimistic behavior and attitude in building self esteem, which is intertwined with self confidence and self worth. Learned is the idea that optimism starts from bringing out the goodness within us and extending this positive outlook in life to others. Being realistic by limiting exposure to fictitious and fabricated stories is favorable rather than being idealistic simply because we live in reality and not in fantasy. 2. Causes Of Low Self Esteem And How to Overcome Low Self Esteem Summary Low self esteem is usually brought about by unfavorable childhood experiences, failures, negative physical attributes, and unemployment or poverty. To overcome low self esteem requires identifying its causes and dealing with it through acceptance of the unchangeable factors and improvement of the modifiable factors. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned Low self esteem, according to Mason, is caused by various factors that may exist in the person’s life starting from his childhood. This include the person’s childhood history if he was neglected, criticized excessively, received less love from his parents and family, more failures than success in his past undertakings, physical appearance as being ugly, negative experiences personally experienced or that which happened to a person close to him, and physical or mental abuse. While in the adult stage, unemployment is a big factor of one’s low self esteem. The issue on how the children are being treated in the family and society plays a vital importance in building their self esteem that will be carried on as they grow. In psychology, childhood history taking is crucial in understanding the personality of an individual and the factors that have contributed to low self esteem. Repressed negative emotion is correlated with being introvert, fearful, and depressed. Thus, it shall be dealt with, be corrected if possible, and be overcome because low self esteem is destructive to one’s personality and, in worst case, may lead to suicide. Though short in length, learned is the importance of identifying the causes of the person’s low self esteem. These factors should be faced and dealt with rather than fearfully repressing it. In cases of unchangeable negative attributes, acceptance is the key to move on, and focusing on positive attributes are good points to overcome low self esteem. 3. How Not to Talk to Your Kids-The inverse power of praise. Summary Our parents are the most significant persons that influence our personality. Studies show the opposite result of parental phony praises to the child that lead to negative effects in the development of the latter’s overall personality. Found out is the surprising idea that children with high self esteem pampered by insincere praises from their parents eventually turned into cowardice or lack persistence in achieving success when faced with challenges. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned This article tackles the effects of praise to a child and the big role of the parents, being the primary persons who give praises to the children. Bronson cited many studies about the effects of praise to a child -- the most prominent of which is the study of Carol Dweck and Lisa Blackwell on the effects of praise to a dozen of New York schools’ fifth-grader students with some surprising results that were contradictory to the usual child-praising principles that most people believed in and practiced. Their study was the foundation of the inverse power of praise to the child as supported by other psychologists and researchers. In the present society, many parents are still blinded with the thought that praising their children is always a form of positive reinforcement that would help develop their children in a positive way. This belief has been negated by the article of Bronson because not all positive praises has positive effects to the child. Those praises that boost the child’s self esteem could even be detrimental to the child’s personality development, while those praises that value the child’s effort insinuates the child of his control over his success. If both are beset with challenge, the child with high self esteem will tend to quit, thinking that the challenge does not belong to his expertise, while the child who is diligent will continue to face the challenge believing that he has the control to achieve success through his effort. Moreover, sincerity of praise is also important. Praising the child despite his undeserving actions or performance is just giving him a false belief that pampers the child’s ego but many parents in the society are doing this when in fact, Bronson’s review of studies revealed that high self esteem does not guaranty improvement or career achievement because they lack the persistence to work harder. Learned from this article are the effects of praise to the children with focus on parental role. A praise that is sincere and focused on the child’s diligent efforts more likely results to a positive effect on the child’s personality rather than praising the child as being smart or intelligent that will just boost his ego and will eventually make him a quitter when faced with the challenges in life. Parents should teach their children not to give up in times of failure because the way to bounce back from failure is to work harder. Surprisingly, a new perspective of looking at self esteem transpired from this article -- that high self esteem is detrimental to one’s personality in terms of handling failures and persistence in achieving success in life. 4. How to Develop a Positive Body Image and Increase Self Esteem Summary Developing positive body image can be achieved though identifying and focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses, establishing manageable goals, living a healthy lifestyle, wearing appropriate wardrobe, and avoiding fad diets. As the person feels good on how he sees himself, this increases his self esteem, thus making him feel confident to face the world. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned Body image, according to Tompkins, is how one feels about his physical appearance, and this is directly linked to self esteem. Among both genders, it is the women who are more conscious when it comes to body image greatly influenced by the media and the beauty industry. With improved body image, a person will more likely feel better about himself in general, thus increasing the level of self esteem and having a healthier mental outlook. Many women in the society nowadays are conscious of their body image because of the existence of various beauty products being endorsed by beautiful models. There is nothing wrong in setting manageable goals for physical improvement that would make a person feel better. Focusing on strengths, living a healthy lifestyle, choosing the appropriate clothes, and avoiding fad diets are ways that could help a person develop a positive body image. Another factor that influences self esteem learned is about developing a positive body image through treating yourself well. Being kind and forgiving to self balances the pressure of trying so hard to look good. In order to have a healthier and happier life, encouraged is maintaining a healthy lifestyle through eating healthy foods, regular exercise, wearing appropriate clothes, and wholeheartedly accepting the type of body that you have. 5. Self-esteem vs. Self-respect Summary Self respect is different from self esteem in the sense that self respect does not dwell on self evaluation but accepts whatever consequence of an action or an attribute may bring. With self respect, peace of mind is achieved, and where there is peace of mind, there is also contentment and happiness. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned Langer talks about self-respect as the key to achieving peace of mind, rather than self-esteem. To esteem anything is to evaluate it positively and hold it in high regard, but consequences of failure results to negative reactions like guilt, regret, stress, or depression. To respect something, on the other hand, is to accept it, with less anguish on the consequences of failures. Having peace of mind in a demanding and fast-paced society nowadays is relevant to achieving happiness. With high self-esteem, self-evaluation, oftentimes, leads to worrying and hampers the state of mind to be at peace, especially when failures occur. Whereas, self-respect accepts both the negative and the positive consequences, just applicable to the reality of life wherein flaws are normal and present to everybody. Learned is the concept of self-respect that contradicts the value of high self esteem, deemed more helpful in achieving happiness. It is found out that self esteem is coupled with self-evaluation that bothers the person, especially in times of failure. Feelings of blame, guilt, regret, lies, secrets and stress are correlated with having high self esteem. Thus, self-respect is more desirable to build. 6. The Effect of Self-Esteem on Romantic Relationships - Based on Recent Psychology Research Summary Self esteem is very important in romantic relationship because it influences our emotions, who we select as a partner, how we perceive our partner, how we think that our partner perceives us, and how we deal with relationship problems. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned This article is significant in our society today where the rate of relationship break-ups, divorce, and separation is high. Level of self-esteem influences who we select as partners and how we view them. Individuals who have negative perceptions of themselves also have more negative perceptions of their partners. Low self esteem individuals doubt that their partners actually love them, and consequently they take minor relationship difficulties or failures as signs that their partners' affections are waning and that they will put an end to the relationship. At the face of such problems, people with low self esteem distance themselves from their partners and devalue them even further, because the prospect of rejection becomes less threatening if the partner is seen as less desirable. Whereas, people with high self esteem value their partners more highly and even in situations of difficulties they maintain their confidence in that their partners will continue to love and support them. This article taught us that a romantic relationship is greatly affected by the person’s level of self esteem. Low self esteem poses a serious threat to successful relationships. Thus, it is favorable that prior to entering a romantic relationship, the person must build his self esteem first for him to be capable of handling relationship’s challenges. 7. The Psychology of Self Esteem: How to Increase Confidence Summary Self confidence correlates self esteem and knowledge and experience increase one’s confidence. Through venturing into new activities in life that we learn new things and by being optimistic through positive talk that would encourage us to take the risk for change. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned In this article, Webber offers a new way of building self esteem and confidence through (1) creating a confidence book with pictures and memorabilia of the happy events in your life, (2) talking positively to your own self or positive self-evaluation, and (3) planning a new experience each month of the year. This article is suited for those people in the society who are afraid of change in their lives. Webber encourages breaking out the monotonous lifestyle by engaging in new experiences each month because it is with trying new things that self confidence is build. Thus, changes should be embraced rather than avoided. In addition to the concept of self confidence as directly correlated with self esteem, this article teaches us to look positively in the changes in our lives as a challenge and opportunity for new experience and learning. Knowledge learned from various experiences combined with positive self talk increases self esteem, making a person feel more confident of himself. 8. Yep, life'll burst that self-esteem bubble Summary Self esteem developed through insincere and unrealistic praises is nothing but a bubble covering of a person that looks stable and shiningly attractive but, in fact, very fragile that may break out even with slight pressure. Studies revealed that people with this kind of self esteem struggle more in facing the challenges of life because they grew up from the phony praises of lies from their parents, making them believed that they are great but actually not because they lack the effort to become great. Main Idea, Societal Issues, and New Things Learned The main idea of Jayson’s article is about self esteem considered as just like a fragile bubble that covers a person to look happy and secure, yet will burst with less adversity. The traditional parental honing of building up child’s self esteem through giving phony praises is nothing but a mere conditioning of the child to become unrealistic which, in the future, would make the person struggle more for adjustment to reality. Life, in reality, is not a bed roses. In fact, it is full of challenges and nobody is exempted from undergoing failure. Once the person has been brought up with abundant praises and minimal challenge, he will find it hard to handle failures in life because he has not been used to it. It is favorable, instead, to promote self-esteem by emphasizing strengths and skills while encouraging feelings of competence, rather than applying the 'Whatever you do is great!' traditional ego-boosting phrases. Learned from this article is another contradiction to the usual notion that high self esteem is always good because it depends on how self esteem has been built tracing from childhood. Self esteem built through phony praises of the parents results to negative effect to the person’s overall personality because he will more likely turn out to become idealistic and weak to handle life’s adversities. Self esteem earned through appreciation of efforts, strengths, and competence, on the other hand, results to diligence and competitiveness. Works Cited Bronson, Po. “How Not to Talk to Your Kids-The inverse power of praise.”New York Magazine (Feb. 2007). Web. 26 February 2011. . Hampson, Louise. “Building Self Esteem and Feeling Better About Yourself - A Practical How to Guide”. Factoidz bite-sized knowledge (May 2010). Web. 25 February 2011. . Jayson, Sharon. “Yep, life'll burst that self-esteem bubble.” USA Today (Feb. 2005). Web. 27 February 2011. . Langer, Ellen. “Self-esteem vs. Self-respect”. Psychology Today, Sussex Directories, Inc. (Sept. 2010). Web. 27 February 2011. . Mason, Christie. “Causes Of Low Self Esteem And How to Overcome Low Self Esteem”. ArticlesBase Free Online Articles Directory (Oct. 2010). Web. 26 February 2011. . Miyagawa, Liv. “The Effect of Self-Esteem on Romantic Relationships - Based on Recent Psychology Research”. Ezine Articles (Feb. 2010). Web. Tompkins, Laura. “How to Develop a Positive Body Image and Increase Self Esteem.” Factoidz bite-sized knowledge (Jan. 2011). Web. 27 February 2011. . Webber, Bridget. “The Psychology of Self Esteem: How to Increase Confidence.” Factoidz bite-sized knowledge (Jan. 2011). Web. 27 February 2011. . Read More