Whether It Is Worthy to Pursue Marriage - Research Paper Example

Whether it is Worthy to Pursue Marriage Debate on whether marriage is relevant or worth to pursue in the current world makes an interesting topic to engage into. Although there are many factors or elements that have made the marriage institution seem irrelevant or not worth of pursuing, the marriage institution is as worth as it used to be many centuries ago. Based on what led to the significance of marriages in the world which is religious believes that God made man and woman and sent them to fill the world, the same doctrines stand even today as God has not yet declared marriage as irrelevant. Based on the fact that there are certain factors that have rendered the marriage institution irrelevant today like people can have children out of marriage and that compassion can be gained out of wedlock, it does not dispute the importance of marriage. Thispaper will attempt to outline the fact that marriage is worth pursuing even on the 21st century. Marriage is considered to have begun when men were being formed. Various religious groups in the world believe that marriage was ordained by the Supreme Being who rules the universe as he formed man and woman. Marriage is also based on traditional believes where people believed that men were meant to be united with a woman in a relationship that could lead to child bearing and companionship. However, different cultures believe in different types of marriages such as monogamous marriage and polygamous marriage. Marriage in some cultures is considered a mandatory engagement where all members of such societies are required to get married at a certain part of their lives. However, the society today has changed the living style and this has led to change in doctrines and principles about marriage and its worth. Careers, independence of women, and other principles have led people to realize that marriage is not as important as they used to believe (Thornton 90). Marriage is believed to be a cohabitation where children are brought up to become responsible children. Though many people may argue that children can be gained and delivered out of wedlock, it has been proved that children required both parents to raise them to become responsible adults. The children grow up knowing and depending on their father and the wife respect the husband as the head of family. Parental roles and care is expected from both the parents unless where circumstances my lead to one parent as the caretaker of the children. According to an article about arguments on non-parental care by Gheaus (1), many people disagree about the benefit if non-parental care on children. Many people believe that it is inappropriate to enroll children for non-parental care as it doesn’t serve the role of effective early childhood development.A study conducted in Norway suggests that there are no harmful effects of non-parental care on a child. There is no evidence that has been pointed out on the harmful effects of non-parental care on children (Gheaus 3). However, this argument is not concrete as parental role offers effective child care and development program as well. Marriage is considered as a basic institution that ensures responsible citizens, leadership and peace in a country. Contemporary minds may dispute the fact but it has been proved that the best presidents, peaceful countries and developed nations have strong marriage values and doctrines. In fact, in U.S, for one to run for presidency, his family values and responsibility within his marriage life is scrutinized. This means that responsible president should be a married man or someone who have been married before. Marriage is thus an institution that is critical in ensuring responsible citizens, peaceful cohabitation, and development focused nation. Argument on the fact that people can live without the marriage is not valid since it’s clear that people would become irresponsible and lack commitment and focus in life. Today, the marriage institution is as worth as many decades ago since many people who make positive impacts in the world today and previously have been married at some point in their lives (Thornton 93). According to Frank Sinatra on his song “love and marriage”, he has stated that “love and marriage are inseparable and that there is none that can exist without the other”. According to this statement, marriage basically involves to mates who love each other (Sinatra 1). If marriage cannot exist without love, then marriage is what pulls the world together in peace, harmony and unity. Marriage connects people together and there are no forces that are more powerful than the marriage union. This results to peace in the world and the institution is one that prevents such events like war, killings, tribalism, racism, hate and other negative elements in life. however, many people would dispute this fact on basis that many marriages today are falling apart and institution that are based on love cannot be disengaged. Since marriage is described to be a union between a man and a woman that is recognized by law and they basically become husband and wife after the union (Thornton 94). However, based on values of marriage, people are expected to live in love and unity since they both die. On this basis, marriage cannot be separated or disjointed by any other factor or element. This is what Sinatra refers by stating that “marriage and love go together just as horse and carriage are jointed” (Sinatra 1). Marriage is critical and is considered important by many societies because it generates wealth for the families. In many societies, dowry is a critical part of enhancing marriage between two partners. The bride’s family expects that the bridegroom’s family will make commitment of marrying the bride by transferring a part of their financial or other kind of wealth to the bride’s family. Many people consider this as a benefit to both parties because it empowers the bride’s family in financial basis while it also seals the marriage and the bridegroom is assured of blessings in marriage. Further, when two people come together, they can create synergy in growth of their wealth since they combined effort by pulling resources together to create more wealth than a single person. Generally, married families get wealthier than unmarried individuals since they are more responsible and committed to generate wealth for their future. People actually fear or disregard the importance of marriage because they do not understand the elements that are critical for marriage to succeed. Deborah Tannen outlines that marriages fail because it is difficult for men and women to talk to each other (Ksenych 27). Men and women do not connect well in communication because they have been created differently. However it would be important for both parties to know how to connect while talking. Men, especially in America are said to talk more on public gatherings than women while women talk more at homes than men (Ksenych 29). Complaints about being poor listeners or losing concentration when women were talking in the house has been indicated as one of the major issue that leads to poor communication between men and women. However, if both parties would realize the secrets about men and women communication, their marriage would blossom (Thornton 77). In her article, “All the Single Ladies”, Kate Bolick points out that ladies have become less interested in marriage because the worth of men has declined steeply especially due to joblessness and financial problems. She states that men have lowered their life prospects due to these factors and the fact that women have become more powerful than before (Bolick 1). This is one of the misconceptions that ladies have developed about marriage. Marriage is not founded on the financial ability of a person. It is built on mutual understanding and love. Marriage is based on knowledge and understanding that character, personality and moral values of the other person are key elements for consideration in a partner rather that financial capacity. Sage Stossel outlines that there are more women who are aged thirty years and above today than it was in 1970s. In the article “In search of Mr. Right, Stossel says that high levels of education, higher salaries and financial independence among women has led to the belief that they can also match their male counterparts (Stossel 1). One of the major factors that elements like high level of education brought is the fact that it led to delay in marriages as people take many years to build on their careers. The outcome of the delay convinces women that they do not need to get married as they are financially stable and advanced in age. This is also a misconception that one should not get married when she advances in her career and age. Marriage is not limited to certain ages for both genders. Regardless of the importance of marriage, many people do not find worth of pursuing it today. Thereare some justified reasons behind the ideology but many individuals in different societies believe in it. A research conducted in China proved that there exists a society where there are no men who can be referred to as fathers or husbands to children and women. According to research conducted by CiaHua, on Chinese anthropologist on the Na tribe, it has been revealed that the culture of these people does not encompass man as a father or husband in the family. Women live with their brothers and their children and probably other closer matrimonial relative in same households while men make appointments on visiting women at night and leaving early in the morning (Geertz 202). This culture has led to unusual reaction from me especially due to the fact that I have been brought up in a society that cherish marriage institution and believe in monogamous kind of marriage. Among the people from tribe of Na, there is precisely no marriage and women live with their children and sexual intercourse occurs between opportunistic lovers who create no boundaries or limits of lovers that one can engage in (Geertz 202). In such societies, there is precisely no signs of growth and development because many people get irresponsible and key social values and norms are disregarded meaning that the society has no principles to enhance direction. Children grow up without morals and social values that can help them develop responsible lives (Thornton 97). In conclusion, marriage is one of the most essential and valuable institution in the world today. The fact that society has become skeptical about marriage today; it does not prove or validate the unworthiness of marriage institution. Some facts like, love, companionship, rising of children are some of the factors that make individuals regard marriage as worth. Works Cited Bolick, Kate, "All the Single Ladies." The Atlantic (2011): Web. 12 May 2014. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/308654/ Geertz, Clifford. "Life without Fathers or Husbands."The New York Review of Books (2001): Web. 20 Nov. 2013. Gheaus, Anca. "Arguments for Nonparental Care for Children." Academia (2011): Web. 13 Dec. 2013. http://www.academia.edu/309824/Arguments_for_nonparental_care_for_children Ksenych, Edward, and David Liu. Conflict, Order and Action: Readings in Sociology. Toronto, Ont: Canadian Scholars Press, 2001. Sinatra, Frank, "Love and Marriage Lyrics." Lyrics Freak (2014): Web. 12 May 2014. http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/frank+sinatra/love+marriage_20056073.html Stossel, Sage, "In Search of Mr. Right." The Atlantic (2002): Web. 12 May 2014. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2002/12/in-search-of-mr-right/306587/ Thornton, Arland, William G. Axinn, and Yu Xie. Marriage and Cohabitation. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2007. Read More