What makes people attractive to others - Research Paper Example

Module What Makes People Attractive to Others? How the Paper Addresses the Needs and Styles of College Men The audience being addressed by the paper is comprised of college men. This is a vulnerable age group in matters pertaining attractiveness as the critical success in academics and marriage life is dependent on the type of relationships they establish with other people. The two most exciting life incidences about life in college for young men is the possibility of development of a relationship away from relatives; either just friendship or romantic. The paper posits that college men become attracted to others when they identify an admirable quality in them. The paper outlines these qualities and their effects in attractiveness. The secret identified in the discussion as overlaying attraction is self love. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor other people. They are open to all love gestures directed to them. This makes their character to be viewed in a positive light. They express their love in every way and think about it most of the time. With such an attitude no ill thoughts about others can clog their mind. According to Harper, college men should understand that human interactions are vital in acquiring a sense of well-being, happiness and self esteem (402). The paper also stresses on the emotional as well as physical well-being because, at their age, the community expects college men to be energetic both physically and emotionally. This implies that one may be physically healthy but emotionally challenged leading to overall adverse effects on their interactions. It will also be difficult for a young man to sustain a meaningful relationship if they lack emotional stability. DISCUSSION The education status of college men demands that much of their thinking capacity be preoccupied by academic issues; not life shocks and stresses. This is an indication that if one does not uphold proper interactive tendencies towards people, his academic performance will certainly be affected negatively. When they discover that people do not like them, emotions run the gamut from defensive indignation to a feeling of deep pain and enormous sadness. One should focus on improving both his physical and emotional character while streamlining self attitude towards other people. However, young college men may look physically tattered, frail and unattractive if they do not embrace a healthy lifestyle. Healthy people engage in some form of daily exercise alongside healthy diets to support the physical stability of their energetic bodies. One should indulge in this because they respect themselves and not aiming to impress others. The strategy can entail the involvement of a group activity. This promotes positive interactions with the group members. Attractive people maintain their emotional wellbeing through allowing themselves time to focus. This detaches them from adrenaline negative impacts such as distractions and clutters (Davenport point 32). There are many virtues that one needs to acquire to ensure they are attractive to other people especially the college mates and the teaching staff. It is eminent for one to develop his personal operating system (Davenport point 1). This can be accomplished through curving out and defining their philosophy, values, interests and reality than blindly embracing that of their peers and the community at large. When people understand your likes and dislikes, the interactive attitude they portray upon you will be related to the stipulated principles. Expressing one’s personality indicates that one accepts who they are. Therefore, people interact with the real self and not a fake personality. Accepting who we are requires personal sacrifice as one lets go of the need for validation (Davenport point 2). Attractive people speak constructively and attach sense in whatever they discuss. Although the current trends among the peers associate naughty-boy image with attractiveness towards young ladies, this notion is short-lived and causes harm to self-worth (Davenport point 12). One only impresses one circle of friends while hurting and alienating others. Choosy college men would engage in gossips and sharing of discriminative information as they are proud and feel powerful (Davenport point 14). It would be more courteous and appealing to ignore arguments, and instead smile and walk away from unpleasant communications and look for a resolution later. Self esteem is a serious problem facing many college men as most of them are motivated by the opinions of others towards them or their urge for recognition. According to Davenport, one should be driven by what they value, “One should trust his instincts and allow his actions and behaviors to be experimented.” For one to discover himself, he has to interact with others. This leads to the formation of a relationship group and cultivation of strong bonds with other people. Self discovery requires patience and persistence such that even if one fails, he should persist as well as encourage his colleagues who may tend to give up. Showing concern for other people’s welfare makes people attractive. However, this does not come without a price; one has to accept others as they are. Davenport posits attractive, “…abstain from judgments or criticisms towards others and focus on their strengths and virtues.” One should be an expert in dealing with difficult people around his environment without trampling his worth. However, it would be futile for one to try to be likeable to everyone. This is because in the process of accommodating everyone one alienates others. Even if one could impress everyone he may lose himself in the process. Attractive people acquire their likeable characteristics from other people through maintaining relationships for a longer time. This requires one to be inter-developmental through averting controlling, dependency or co-dependency traits (Harper 402-403). Long lasting relationships are mutually uplifting and satisfying. This should not only be applicable within romantic relationships, but also towards the teaching faculty. Attractiveness towards faculty requires one to be open to learning. One should not brag about their intelligence or the immense knowledge they may possess. There is always something to learn from everyone. Consequently, those who do not perform well academically should not lose confidence in their capabilities or alienate themselves from others. People will like you more if you share your weaknesses with them. This even allows development of a collective remedy that can assist one in improving his condition. Nothing is more valuable than the present moment. Our present actions determine the future and change the mistakes people made in the past. The past attitude of people towards a person can be changed through the current measures being taken to rectify these mistakes. Making the present the best moment in a person’s life improves his emotional stability and enhances his positive attitude towards others. Intelligent people keep on evolving and maintain their presence in the path of progress. They take advantage of the opportunities that promotes growth (Davenport Point 35). College men acquire life skills in the form of academic knowledge for future prosperity. If one cannot identify the present opportunities and take advantage of them in advance, then his future is doomed to fail. No person would be attracted to a person who is not future-oriented. In conclusion, attractiveness encompasses both emotional and physical well-being and is virtuous in nature. Works cited Davenport, Barrie, 36 Ways to Be Irresistibly Attractive, Bloom Life & Career Coaching. Web. 2 January, 2011. Harper, Shaun R., and Frank Harris. College Men and Masculinities: Theory, Research, and Implications for Practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. 2010. Print. Read More