Compare and Contrast (Society) - Essay Example

She advocates for individual satisfaction in a marriage rather than sticking in a marriage for a lifetime because it is what society requires. Slater on the other hand, analyses the consequence of self esteem and its effects on a human being. She examines the distinctiveness of people with high and low self esteem. Society norms in both cases are predictable and easily determined. As Kipsin says when one is married they are expected to exercise obedience, compromise and stay as a couple for a lifetime.

She argues that such an expectation from society in the modern world is somehow unrealistic. She argues that modern love maximizes on submission and minimizes freedom. She feels that a marriage should be build on freedom and wanting more (755). She feels that marriage is like having a soldier watching over someone all the time. To her traditional societies allowed household dictators and petty tyrants in the private sphere of a family. She believes that love should be subjected to other forms of emotional life than subjugation.

To her, a marriage necessitates a sophisticated working acquaintance of the intricacies of mutuality (752). Mutuality according to Kipsin id to recognize your partners need and strive to fulfill them. She further says one should meet these needs to the satisfaction of your partner such that you become their desire thus attaining intimacy. She argues that mutuality requires communication so that your partner can understand your needs, desires and even sensitivities. She contradicts these with traditional societies where marriage was considered a business enterprise between families.

Partners who hardly knew each other get married not because of their mutual interests but because of family interests. Thus, she argues these relationships were not based on love thus expecting them to last a lifetime in unreasonable. She argues that the main thing is for one to be happy and if society if a marriage is not working one should leave. She says that one cannot be tied in an unhappy union when she can be happily on her own. Society tends to judge people who are separated or divorced as ill-behaved, but she says this should not be the case thus should be avoided.

In addition, she says that one should not be seen as lacking character because she is alone but be given their space. She beholds individualism something that society is against. Society always works as a collective unit where all are inclusive. That is why if one is not married, they begin to question. According to Slater, self esteem is a challenge to many American people. She uses research works by scientists like Baumeister and Emler to analogize her views. She argues that self admiration is crucial in the pursuit of contentment.

She says that self esteem is not the maim reason why people feel good about themselves but how they relate with others. She uses research work done to analyze high and low self-esteem. She adds that low self esteem is not a dangerous aspect of life. Low self esteem is not the cause of poor academic performance since people with low self esteem tend to do well in life like others and even do better because they try harder (859). In discussing her views, Kipsins encounters several challenges that sway from society expectations.

Marriage is a respectable institution in society and to gather the courage to argue about it is difficult. Kipsin boldly tackles marriage