Why parents should not argue in cheldren's presence - Essay Example

Why parents should not argue in children’s presence. Family is usually composed of parent(s) and children. In a family, love, happiness, unity is always expected in order to have strong cohesion. In families, parents play a significant role in ensuring their children grow into responsible citizens. Young children usually regard their parents as role models and try to imitate all they do and put them into their daily activities. Parents posses this magical ability to forget that their kids are within earshot of what they are saying when arguing. Or they assume their children are too young to understand the context of the argument while ignoring to realize the tone of their conversation is noticeable by even a one year old child. The greatest danger is, kids do as we do and most often not as we say, though we wish the opposite. So, what kind of children are we going to raise when we traditionally argue and fight before them? Most of the time, whatever children learn from their families, sometimes they carry them through their lives. Hence, family unity is a very essential component in a child’s growth and future character (Rimm, 2008). For any child to develop into a morally person, one is expected to have learnt good morals from his or her parents (Oliver, 2011). Children regard their parents as their mentors and try to copy whatever things they see them doing. A tender mind of a child once exposed to the sight of parents quarrelling may start imitating what their parents do to other children. Such children tend to develop quarreling attitudes when confronted with tricky situations and on worst case scenario, involve themselves in fights. According to some research conducted on children who were once exposed to seeing their parent’s quarrelling, the research found out that the most of the children developed quarrelling tendencies later in their lives as men or women (Rimm, 2008). Children exposed to the scene of their parents quarrelling sometime become traumatized psychologically. Possessing tender minds, children are the most affected in case of a quarrel. A child in his or her micro-environment usually believes life is a happy place, and by seeing such a scene, become terrified of life’s outcome (Vissing, 2007). A child also believed that perfection in his or her micro-world is brought by his or her parents, therefore by seeing them quarreling, deprives the child of his or her happiness. Parent’s who quarrel in front of their children should not do so since their subject their children to psychological torture and deprive them of the happiness children should have at such tender age. Quarrelling before children in some countries is punishable since it deprives children their rights. One of the worst side effects of living in a hostile environment is exposure to stress. Stress should not be really a part in a child’s life. Some of healthy stresses such as the thrill to adventure, challenging school work, or normal changes of life are good. However, the negative stress brought about by living in unhappy household full of conflicts is terrible for a child mental and physical health. Parents should also not argue in front of their children since they might cause emotional instability. Sometimes, children become emotionally disturbed when they see their parents quarrelling and become withdrawn. Children are usually free with their parents and believe their parents are their judges in whatever happens to them, but on seeing they quarrel, send fear into their minds (Rimm, 2008). A child, who was once free with his or her parents before a quarrel, may start withdrawing or keeping to himself or herself after the quarrel since he or she distrusts them. Trust in any family is important for its survival. A child learns to be distrustful after such events since the person he or she used to trust, engages in quarrelling. When children become threatened emotionally, they exhibit increased negativity in life. Some of them develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, hostility, aggression among others. Such children also become difficult and aggressive to deal with in life (Oliver, 2011). In terms of morality, children are most affected in times like that where their parents quarrel. In a quarrelling situation, dirty language is often exchanged between the parents. Since children are naturally learners, sometimes they pick up a few of the bad language used by their parents and experiment them elsewhere with their children. A study conducted on a primary school on bad language use, discovered that children who used dirty language were victims of seeing their parent’s quarrelling (Rimm, 2008). The long time effect of such habits is that they might grow and be a part of the child even in adulthood. In any given society, people who are immoral are always treated as outcasts. Hence, children who learn immoral deeds from their children often end up as misfits in the society if treatment is not accorded early. Parents who quarrel in front of their children set a bad example to them. Such children are always view themselves as outcasts since they are not accorded the right treatment children are supposed to be given (Tinglof, 2000). According to the children’s Act, children are expected to grow in an environment which is conducive to their growth and development as a whole. Children are people and need to be respected with respect. Therefore, parents need to keep whatever they quarrel in secret so as to maintain the respect they get from their children. Children learn how to respect other people when they see their parents respecting each other. Cases where parents do not respect each other, children also learn how to be disrespectful and that can be detrimental to the society if not corrected in time. Parents who do not quarrel in front of their children show good problem solving skills plus ensure the safety of their children is paramount. Children in such cases are protected from seeing them quarreling and fighting (Vissing, 2007). Such children grow in happy situations despite their parent’s quarreling. The parents handle conflicts constructively and children learn how to compromise, have compassion, humor plus warmth when solving disagreements. Such parents save their children from undergoing emotional disturbance, change of morality to the worse and psychological disturbance. A good parent should be one who is sensitive to his or her child’s emotions and should ensure he or she does not influence it negatively. Negative emotions once carried in life can turn out to be detrimental to many who live around that child. The society usually accepts people who are friendly to it and rejects those who are negative to it. Hence children who are emotionally disturbed need a lot of counseling and correction methods later in life to make them fit in the society. It may take the rest of their lives for their recovery which is not guaranteed at all (Tinglof, 2000). Arguing is about control. One person is insisting he or she is right while the other is by default. Having to have your own way all the time is a individuality quandary that desires to be worked on. Picking fights and being nasty make you not nice in general, but dangerous as a parent or a parent. Just consider if hurting everyone’s feeling is worth feeling is worth being right. Would you rather not be happy and make other people happy in turn? Shouldn’t every parent be nicer, gentler, spouse and caring? If arguing becomes traditional and inevitable in a marriage, seek a counselor the both of you. The worse than frequent arguing in front of children is ultimately having a divorce. Then the children have to from Mum or Dad’s team when custody is determined. Very few, if any, children admit that it was a positive incident. Long lasting scars are usually the impact of a fractured union between parents. I you don’t want to make marriage work for the sake of you and your partner, consider the child’s feeling. All children deserve to be brought up in a stable peaceful environment (Tinglof, 2000). In conclusion, parents who quarrel in front of their children should quit that habit. Instead, if it is necessary to quarrel, they should do that in privacy. Children are the runners of our next generation and they need to learn proper virtues (Vissing, 2007). Since parents are the immediate role models of children, they should ensure that they care for their well being before engaging in any quarrelling. From the essay, we realize the detrimental effect parents quarreling have on children. Hence proper means among of avoiding situations that lead to quarrelling before children should be observed. Children are very precious and good care has to be accorded to them in accordance to universal children’s Act. Works Cited Oliver Roberts, Melanie Roberts-Fraser. The Partner-Parent Principle. San Francisco: Untreed Reads, 2011. Rimm, Sylvia B. How to Parent So Children Will Learn: Strategies for Raising Happy, Achieving Children. Iowa: Great Potential Press, 2008. Vissing, Yvonne Marie. How to keep your children safe: Lebanon: UPNE, 2007. Read More