Old Habits: The Story of My Brother Matt - Essay Example

?Old Habits Human life is a journey. This trajectory is completed through the catharsis and purgation which human life attains by the fag end of one’s life through his own actions. But I really wonder whether all the actions of human life are really guided by own deeds. Moral says ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’ but all the events of human life are not culminated from his own actions. External conditions guide the human actions to great actions. But most surprisingly a greater force at a cosmic level is consistently guiding the action and the life of human being, which no one can escape or ignore. My own family members have become the greatest examples of these phenomena in my life. To comprehend this procedure or perceive the power of the cosmic force which is beyond our comprehension, the trajectory of my life consisted of the actions which fell into close counter, begins with the story of my brother Matt. Matt is my sibling and he is a great lover of adventure. This love of his life suddenly changed his entire life. However, it was not his destiny alone that was shaped with the deeds for which he was responsible. There were people around him like my mom, Deb and my dad, Steve and me whose lives were greatly affected by the transition in Matt’s life. As a family the lives of each member is closely related and influenced by the actions and lifestyle of other members in the family. Actually, this feeling itself gives a feeling of coherence. A family is like a complete picture where each member and their life is a fragment of the jigsaw puzzle. A single fragment missing would never allow completing the puzzle and the story. Matt and my life are not an exception in this regard and the fate of our parents proved fatal for us to a great extent. There was a time when my mom and dad were almost on the verge of losing their job. Threat of financial crisis is greatest in today’s materialist world. One needs to earn for every great or small wants and desires in life. Dad could somehow manage to save his job but mom had to put extra effort and she took two jobs from the hour cut of the first one. We had two dogs. I still remember the lovely days that Matt and I spent in their company. They were the part of the family and we were a complete happy family then. I mentioned the fact earlier that every integrated bit, every single member complements and completes the picture of a happy family. One day we all went together for hunting and very unfortunately at the dusk, we lost one of our dogs and never saw him again. This is why I repeatedly keep stressing on this factor. I am well aware with the consequence of a missing member in the prevalent picture perfect concept. The three different stories evolve out from the same platform called family. The three different incidents might seem fragmented incidents of life. They may seem bizarre. But all these events are united at a plane which greatly effect, move and influence the lives of all the members of the family. I want to give a very clear and in-depth introspection to this very simple and mundane factor which often escape the attention of the human mind. But the fact that neither it is mundane nor is it unimportant attracts a close attention. And this fact at times can bring forth an entire different set of actions which can alter the fate of a family or a generation altogether. Matt was a victim of this socio-economic change. His actions were not guided solely by his own will. At times, I sincerely feel that external conditions were responsible to a great extent for the predicament which he had to meet. I watched Matt through the glass door made for the visitors to watch the critical patients at the I.C.U. Matt was lying on the hospital bed. His blue-colored uniform reminded me the fact time and again that he loved blue. He wanted to wear something blue at the prom-night in his high-school graduation party. He was fortunate to get that touch of blue; but alas it was the I.C.U uniform. Matt was looking handsome. I could see only his face but that vision was also restricted as he was almost coiled up with wires that were actually his life support that time. Matt was looking like a bride dressed with white veils and flower about to embrace and kiss her beloved. His face was serene and body was pale. I heard somebody saying, that a new-born child and a person at his death bed transcends all the barriers of life, age and social inhibitions. Looking at Matt’s face when he was lying at his death bed reinforced this feeling again and again. Matt was a free soul. He was calm and free from all the agonies, fret and worries of life. His lungs collapsed and his condition was almost same for more than one month. He met an accident while speeding on a dirt road. He rolled down a cliff and the witnesses to this disaster till get a goose flesh recollecting the incident. They say Matt crawled down the cliff like a rolling stone banging against rocks and whirling upon mud and banging against the huge bark of the trees. This incident reduced Matt as a mound of flesh and blood without any senses or sensibility. I still remember, Matt was very obedient but somehow mom could not pay enough attention towards him. She had to take up two jobs to support the family and give us a perfect education and life. I got engrossed and engaged in my studies and soon had to leave my home for further education. When I moved out, my heart was felt with excitement to explore the unexplored and navigate through an unknown avenue of life that opened with a huge embrace along with immense potential to explore. There was a dream of glimmering dawn before my eyes but I had to restrain myself from getting the best things and accept whatever life had planned for me. Matt was in the hospital for more than two months and my granny had to undergo an operation to remove a tumor which fell heavy on the pockets of my parents and one day I got a serious instruction from them to quit my course before my semester as my stay in the campus became quite tolling for them to bear at that point of time. I still remember how the dog was a close associate of Matt and how the loosing of the dog affected its mate back at home. Matt even could not come out of this grief. He became desolated at heart as mom became busy in her job and I became more engaged with my own life. Matt was alone at home. He was compelled to seek mental refuge and association outside the contour of family life. There he came into contact with people who were more desperate, extrovert and did not mind to risk their life much as it was their own way of fun and perception towards life. I still remember the way he fell isolated and I could not do anything for him except watching his disaster from bay. At hard times the family got united. We were able to experience the feeling of togetherness again and it is through the hard times we all were able to comprehend our strength of characters. Bibliography Wideman, John Edgar & TuSmith, Bonnie. Conversations with John Edgar Wideman. Univ. Press of Mississippi, 1998. Read More