Politeness among Various Generations - Essay Example

 Politeness among Various Generations Abstract This paper is an observational study as to whether older Americans are more polite than either of two younger generations of adults. For my purposes I defined the three generations as young adults ages 17-35, mature adults 35-55, and older Americans ages 55 plus. For obvious reasons, no children were observed and their demographics are not included in this study. To gain the most exposure, I chose a Wal Mart in a medium sized city on a Friday and again on a Saturday, arguably the corporation’s busiest days. Subjects were observed at various points throughout the store, inside and out, including driving and walking habits in and around the parking lot. Those utilizing cellular telephones were not necessarily excluded, as silent politeness is also effective. Introduction Has the younger generation lost all presumption of manners? Are the young people of Generations X & Y the spoiled and rude individuals they are so often portrayed to be in the media? After all, Baby Boomers are becoming the elderly Americans and World War II’s “Greatest Generation” is quickly passing on. Maybe the fast infusion of the electronic age and the further melding of the racial diversity do play a role in the perceived loss of politeness in the United States. The younger generation has been accused time and again of immersing themselves in their cell phones, especially since texting has become widespread in the last few years. So observing total strangers interacting with one another is the best way to determine whether there is any discernible difference in the generations. Some people of the current population perceive politeness as a sign of weakness, both young and old. Social Psychological and Personality Science pointed out in a recent article that rudeness is actually seen as a sign of power. The article brought up the case of a man at a sidewalk café who flicked tobacco ashes on the ground and put his feet on the furniture. Those surveyed said that he was more likely to get what he wanted (van Kleef). While very few people would want to act like that to say a greeter at Wal Mart, the perception would no doubt manifest itself in everyday life. Yet society in general has the idea that politeness has all but disappeared. Those in the customer service industry (including the employees at Wal Mart) say that the people they interact with are becoming increasingly ruder. The media is awash with reports of harried service people exploding, like the Jet Blue flight attendant who felt so harassed he deployed the emergency chute and evacuated the aircraft in 2010. Stories of cursing the person out and throwing a requested receipt in their face are just examples of the downfall of politeness as example in an article in Psychology Today. Yet in giving its awards for best psychologically healthy workplaces in 2006, the APA listed as its criteria those companies which have a “culture of respect”, in that they not only give their C employees training on dealing with rude and abusive customers but also addresses the mental health of those who are on the front lines of customer service (APA). Amy Alkon has written a highly popular book called I See Rude People. In it she gives a somewhat hilarious take on the lack of politeness and how one can protect themselves against the furious onslaught of rudeness in America, from calling out a customer service agent on his rudeness to asking people not to have a rather loud cell phone conversation while trying to eat a quiet dinner. In her review of the book, Satoshi Kanazawa agrees with Ms Alkon and lauds her for having the courage to follow through with establishing borders for those who are rude and one aspect the reviewer mentioned was Ms Alton making the rude ones “pay” for their intrusion on her life (Kanazawa). Method At any one given time on a Friday evening or Saturday all day, the average Wal Mart would have roughly 1,000 shoppers of all age groups. There are several instances both inside and out of the store where politeness could be observed, yet I will concentrate on three specific areas. 1. In the “zebra-stripe” crosswalk that encompasses the entire width of the store; do drivers and pedestrians acknowledge each others’ presence, with a smile or a wave? 2. Almost every Wal Mart on any given Saturday has some sort of charity group soliciting funds for its cause. Do the shoppers say “no thank you” or do they simply ignore the people? 3. Although they are being done away with, that particular Wal Mart still has greeters, of which one of their jobs is to give the incoming shopper a cart. Does the shopper say the magic words? Also, does the greeter actually “greet”? Who is indeed more polite, the young or the old? The city is racially diverse and all represented cultures were observed. The study is not necessarily broken down by race and culture. However it is interesting to note that politeness is thought of along cultural lines. Certain Asians (especially the Japanese) are perceived to be exceptionally polite while those of Germanic persuasion are thought to be cold and distant. Even in this country New Yorkers are supposed to be extremely rude while those from the Deep South bend over backwards to help. Is all this a stereotype? The results should prove interesting. Sex is also an observed factor with this survey, because females are generally thought of as being more polite and less aggressive than males. Those observed were not recruited and were totally unaware they were being watched of course, so that they could be shown as natural as possible. They were not interfered with and so went about their daily lives and their Wal Mart shopping experience. lso those who seemed to preoccupied or excessively harried (screaming children, arguing with their companions, etc.) were for the most part excluded as their responses to stimuli would no doubt be tainted. The weather was deliberately sunny and warm, as again, rain, snow, darkness, and cold would likewise corrupt the results (in an effort to get out of the rain the charity workers would of course be ignored). So anybody with a good power of observation would be able to duplicate this survey. Results The hypothesis is that the younger generations of Americans are far less polite than their ancestors, especially the elderly who came of age just after the Great Depression and fought in World War II. Friday night and Saturday morning at a local Wal Mart showed a cross representation of people between the ages of seventeen and eighty. Wal Mart has park benches strategically located in the front of the store so that, to the casual eye, the observant was merely awaiting an acquaintance. The “zebra-stripe” crosswalk that encompasses the entire width of the store; do drivers and pedestrians acknowledge each others’ presence, with a smile or a wave? Drivers are required by law to stop for pedestrians. Yet do they wave or at least gesture the pedestrian to cross? In the space of one hour, 127 cars were observed interacting with shoppers entering and exiting the store. The drivers ran the gamut from a boy about sixteen who obviously had just gotten his license to a very elderly lady. 95% of the drivers under 50 (85/90) stopped for the crosswalk. The five that did not were otherwise distracted, mostly with a cell phone. A full 23% of drivers 55 and over failed to stop, even when pedestrians and their carts were in the crosswalk. Not distracted, the observant had to wonder if the elderly drivers were ignorant of the significance of the stripes. Some pedestrians were wary and hesitated before crossing. Only 27% of the drivers in all age groups stopped their vehicles and politely gestured for the person to go ahead and cross. Almost every Wal Mart on any given Saturday has some sort of charity group soliciting funds for its cause. Do the shoppers say “no thank you” or do they simply ignore the people? This particular group was the local high school sports boosters and approximately 100 people were observed entering and exiting. Women of all age groups were more apt to say something. Of the 65 women, 90% either donated or said “no thank you”. Those who were more apt to have children as students (35-55) were more likely to donate. Over 80% of that group donated. The young were more apt to stop and talk, as they appeared to know most of the people there, either peers or maybe former teachers. Although they are being done away with, that particular Wal Mart still has greeters, of which one of their jobs is to give the incoming shopper a cart. Does the shopper say the magic words? Also, does the greeter actually “greet”? That particular greeter was especially friendly and helpful, maybe sixty years old. Most people were engaged in conversations with their companions but still managed a smile or thank you. He helped the elderly into the powered carts and they were particularly grateful for such assistance. Of roughly 100 people observed, only four shoppers brushed past the friendly greeter, one about twenty and three more in the 35-55 age group. Based upon these findings, younger people are no less polite than their elders. If anything, they are friendly and slightly more outgoing, actually more willing to stop for a minute and have a chat. Discussion Observing several hundred people at the local branch of the nation’s largest retailer gave a very good cross-section analysis of a very diverse group of people. The stereotypical view that young people are rude and preoccupied with themselves was not borne out by the evidence presented. The conclusion is that younger people are no better or worse than their elders. Actually, younger people are more apt to obey traffic laws than the older person was. For all age segments, it seemed that preoccupation with something other than their driving was the main force behind not stopping. If one was making a case for who could drive best and whether the elderly should be allowed to continue to operate a vehicle, speeding through a crosswalk oblivious to pedestrians would definitely help him. It seemed the charity workers scored probably about what is expected of that genre, only 15% of the people actually gave them anything. That is no doubt the percentage average a beggar would get in a large city. While nobody was actually rude to the boosters, somebody brushing past your sales pitch has to be disheartening. Again the younger people won that survey, as 100% of their age group either said something or actually made a donation to the cause. The greeter seemed to have the most fulfilling area of all three. It has been said that up close and personal makes a difference and that was definitely true in his case. After all, 96% of the shoppers acknowledged him and most actually said thank you. While the elderly won with 100% of their people responding to him, the younger set wasn’t far behind, for 98% of them likewise responded. It appeared the middle aged group could stand some lessons in personal manners. The often blamed technology of the modern era actually had very little to do with the politeness observed. Certainly, modern conveniences such as laptops, cell phones, and texting can be annoying and rude in one-on-one personal relationships, perceived on both sides of the device. Those who embrace the technology point out nobody thought anything rude about answering and talking on the old-style land line, so why are hand-held devices any different? Yet even if one was talking on a cell phone, he or she can still nod or wave to the passing stranger, so in effect it would not impact this study. Indeed, the only time technology came into play was concerning the drivers in the crosswalk, as the younger drivers who failed to heed the pedestrians were for the most part preoccupied with a cell phone. Wealth and Wal Mart. It has been argued by some that Wal Mart attracts only the lower classes of society. With that in mind, this study would be flawed, as the upper middle class and wealthy would not be represented. Yet the observer wonders if that observation is flawed in itself. Late model Mercedes and high-end SUV’s were well represented in the parking lot. Plus the city’s mayor and a local judge were observed at the store. Perhaps the outcome would have different at say Neiman Marcus but maybe not. Why, would the rich be any more or less polite? For instance, in the crosswalk observation, would the wealthier class make their drivers less rude? One has to simply visit Herald Square and Macy’s flagship store to see the holes in that theory! Maybe Wal Mart keeps better watch on their employees than do other stores, as the customer service managers were observed wandering up and down the central checkout lines but the checkout people seemed to be genuinely stress-free. They greeted their customers and generally thanked them once the transaction was complete. It is probably strictly an economic move on Wal Mart’s part, but that particular store operates self-checkout lanes. Yet it is also a device that limits the interaction of the customers with anybody, unless there is a problem, at which time a representative (responsible for maybe six registers) comes over and helps out. Yet the self check is also a unique opportunity to observe human nature. For those hapless individuals with the aforementioned problems, were the people behind them patient? Some were and still others rolled their eyes and even made snide comments about the person’s computer skills. But if a person has coupons or otherwise slows the line down in a “regular” checkout line, a few of those behind them also tend to make rude comments. This wasn’t a direct area of observation but just a comment on human behavior and perhaps a reason or excuse for rude interactions between customers and cashiers. Another limitation is the fact that for obvious reasons, children cannot be utilized in an observational study. How polite is our youngest generation and are manners further regressing? A separate study concerning interactions with caregivers and educators (who see the children on a daily basis) would give better insight on that segment of society. For instance, would the children ignore the charity workers? Would they be apt to give? Teachers are often asking for donations for whatever cause. What is the percentage of their students who donate? Based upon media coverage concerning flight crews and the mental stresses they are under, a future study could be made at a major airport, especially around a major holiday like Thanksgiving. Just in the past few weeks two major occurrences have made the national spotlight. A flight attendant used the aircraft’s PA system to make a Charlie Sheen like rant and shortly thereafter, a pilot became mentally unstable in flight and had to be physically restrained by the passengers. Yet it’s not just the aircrews that are being stressed. After 9/11, passengers feel like they are being treated like cattle, prodded by TSA and jammed into cabins at full capacity, so the airlines can make more money. A holiday with a terminal exceptionally full would make an interesting study on human politeness in the twenty-first century. References van Kleef, Gerben et al, Breaking the Rules to Rise to Power How Norm Violators Gain Power in the Eyes of Others, University of Amsterdam, Social Psychological and Personality Science, Volume 2, Number 5, January 26, 2011. Wilson, Signe, May I Help You? Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Customer Service Industry, April 18, 2010, as accessed in Psychology Today, April 9, 2012, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201004/may-i-help-you-passive-aggressive-behavior-in-the-customer-se. American Psychological Association (APA), A Culture of Respect, Healthy Workplace Awards and Best Practices Honors 2006, February 21, 2006, Web, as accessed April 16, 2012, http://www.apa.org/pubs/info/brochures/phwa-2006.pdf Kanazawa, Satoshi, Applied Evolutionary Psychology at its Best, A review of Amy Alkon, I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners into Impolite Society August 29, 2011, Evolutionary Psychology , Volume 8(1). 2010, Web, as accessed April 16, 2012, http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP080104.pdf APPENDIX Observational Record Sheets (Attached on the following pages) Observational Record Sheet Question: IS THE YOUNGER GENERATION LESS POLITE? Location: _________________WAL MART PARKING LOT____________________________ Hypothesis: _________________OLDER DRIVERS ARE MORE POLITE_______ Generation of person observed (Y/M/E) Y Y E M Y M M M M E M Y M E Y M M Y M Y E Y Y M M M E Y Y M Polite? Y Y Y Y Y N Y Y Y N Y Y Y N Y Y Y Y Y N Y Y Y Y N Y Y Y Y Y KEY: Y=YOUNG (17-35), M=MID (35-55), E=ELDER (55+) 127 DRIVERS AND PEDESTRIANS 22 YOUNG (90% POLITE) 68 MID (84% POLITE) 37 ELDER (77% POLITE) Observational Record Sheet Question: IS THE YOUNGER GENERATION LESS POLITE? Location: _________________WAL MART SOUTH ENTRANCE CHARITABLE DONATION___ Hypothesis: _________________OLDER PEOPLE ARE MORE POLITE_______________________ Generation of person observed (Y/M/E) E M M Y Y M M M E E M M Y M E Y M Y M Y E Y Y M M M E Y Y M SEX F M F F M M M F M M M F F F M M F F F M F M F F M M M F F F Polite? Y N Y Y N Y Y Y Y Y N Y N Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y N Y N N Y N Y DONATE? N N Y N N Y N N Y Y N N N N N Y Y Y N N Y N N Y N Y N Y N Y KEY: Y=YOUNG (17-35), M=MID (35-55), E=ELDER (55+) 100 SHOPPERS 19 YOUNG (80% POLITE) 57 MID (88% POLITE) 24 ELDER (91% POLITE) 65 FEMALES/35 MALES Observational Record Sheet Question: IS THE YOUNGER GENERATION LESS POLITE? Location: _________________WAL MART SOUTH GREETING STATION____________________ Hypothesis: _________________OLDER PEOPLE ARE MORE POLITE_______________________ Generation of person observed (Y/M/E) M M Y M E M M Y E E M M Y M E Y Y M M Y E M M M M Y E M Y M Polite? Y N Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y N Y N Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y N Y Y Y Y Y N KEY: Y=YOUNG (17-35), M=MID (35-55), E=ELDER (55+) 100 SHOPPERS 22 YOUNG (95% POLITE) 60 MID (95% POLITE) 18 ELDER (100% POLITE) 65 FEMALES/35 MALES Read More