Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child - Book Report/Review Example

28-02-2007 SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD "Spare the rod, spoil the child" has long been invoked by Christian parents as a foundation for proper child rearing. The concept does indeed have a biblical grounding. The book of proverbs instructs," He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him properly". Then again the Old Testament suggests other guidelines for meeting out punishment. It is true that punishment is often part of discipline. The main purpose of discipline is to make children follow the rules laid down by people in authority. In this way, children learn to behave in a socially approved manner. Another important purpose of discipline is to get children to want to do what is expected of them and to avoid doing what they know the social group does not approve. Authoritarian discipline is based on rule by authority rather than by reason. "Spare the rod and spoil the child" is a saying that describes this traditional form of discipline. It has come down through the ages and is widely used among various cultures all over the world. Strict authoritarian discipline may produce "good children". They are no trouble because they are afraid of what will happen if they are not good (Hurlock, 1993). But this kind of discipline also causes unfavorable attitudes on a child's part. Part of all good discipline is punishment for willful misbehavior. If there is never any punishment, children will not learn the full meaning of wrong behavior. James Dobson expresses the view well on the focus on the family website, corporal punishment, when used lovingly and properly, is beneficial to the child because it is harmony with nature itself (WWW.focusonthefamily.com). Corporal punishment is often defined broadly as bodily punishment of any kind. Since this definition includes spanking as well as obviously abusive acts such as kicking, punching, beating, face slapping and even starvation. More specific definitions must be used to separate appropriate versus in inappropriate corporal punishment. Spanking is one of many disciplinary responses available to parents intended to shape appropriate behavior in the developing toddler and child. Child development experts believe spanking should be used mainly as a back up to primary measures, and then independently to correct deliberate and persistent problem behavior that is not remedied with milder measures. Spanking, as recommended by most primary care physicians (McCormick, 1992) is not violence by definition ("exertion of physical force so as to injure or abuse") (Webster Ninth New Collegiate dictionary, 1987). Parents who properly spank do not injure or abuse their child. Though the specific use of appropriate spanking has rarely been studied, there is evidence of its short term and long-term effectiveness. When combined with reasoning, the use of negative consequences (including spanking) does effectively decrease the frequency of misbehavior recurrences with preschool children (Larzelere & Merenda, 1994). In clinical field trails where parental spanking has been studied, it has consistently been found to reduce the subsequent frequency of non-compliance with timeout (Roberts & Powers, 1990). Spanking, as an effective enforcer of time out, is a component of several well-researched parent training programs (Forehand & Mc Mohan, 1981) and popular parenting texts (Clark, 1985). Baumrind (1973) in his study points out that "parents taking extreme approaches to discipline (authoritarian type using excessive punishment with less encouragement or permissive types using little punishment and no spanking) were less successful. He concluded from this study "did not indicate the negative reinforcement or corporal punishment per so were harmful or ineffective procedures, but rather the total patterns of parental control determined the effects of the child of these procedures'. The approach of balanced parenting by employing the occasional use of spanking, is advocated by several child-rearing experts. In the hands of loving parents spanking to the buttocks of a defiant toddler in appropriate settings is a powerful motivator to correct behavior and an effective deterrent to disobedience. Parents employing a balanced disciplinary style of firm control (including spanking) and positive encouragement experience the most favorable outcome in their children (Trumbell & Ravenl, 1996) choosing the right punishment for a misbehaving child is not as easy as always using the same form as spanking. But it pays off in improved behavior and attitudes of the child. Parents attitude towards discipline and punishment are greatly affected by what parents think a child should be a severe punishment to make children "good" parents try harder to teach children what good behavior means. We simply do not believe that corporal punishment is the proper way to nurture moral character. Violence may induce fear, and therefore compliance, but it is unlikely to enable conscience. A child learns everything there is learn from his home - if he is shouted at at home, he would shout at others, if he is constantly being beaten, he would lose self-confidence and become hostile, if he is respected, he learns to respect others, if complimented, he learns to praise others, and so on. Children should be taught to have an inner voice - some of us call it conscious - so that they can police themselves instead of us having to punish them repeatedly for mistakes they would repeat. They need to be taught the consequences of making good choices and bad choices - cause and effect but with wisdom and tolerance! If we punish them they would only avoid what they are being punished for because they know you are going to punish them, not because they think it is wrong. Punishment is the one that is most likely to give rise to unfavorable attitudes on the child part. To make sure that unhealthy attitude towards discipline will not develop, children must under stand why and how they were at fault. They must realize that the punishment was deserved. It has been well known that the abuse potential when loving parents use appropriate disciplinary spanking is very low. Since parents have a natural affection for their children, they are more prone to underutilize spanking than to over utilize it. Both empirical data and professional opinion oppose the concept of a causal relationship between spanking and child abuse. Teaching parents appropriate spanking may actually reduce child abuse according to Larzelere in his 1994, review article on corporal punishment. So it has been very clear that all children need a combination of encouragement and correction as they are disciplined to become socially responsible individuals. In order for correction to deter disobedient behavior, the consequence imposed upon the child must out weigh the pleasure of the disobedient act. For very complaint children milder forms of correction will suffice and spanking may never be necessary. For more defiant children who refuse to comply with or be persuaded by milder consequences such as timeout, spanking is useful, effective and appropriate. Appropriate spanking can play an important role in optimal child development and has been found in prospective studies to be part of the parenting style associated with the best outcomes. References: 1. McCormick, Kenelm F. "Attitudes of Primary Care Physicians Toward Corporal Punishment." Journal of the American Medical Association. 1992; 267:3161-3165. 2. Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary. Massachusetts: Merriam-Webster, Inc. 1987; p. 1316. 3. Larzelere, Dr. Robert E. and Merenda, Dr. J.A. "The Effectiveness of Parental Discipline for Toddler Misbehavior at Different Levels of Child Distress." Family Relations. 1994, 43 (4). 4. Roberts, Mark W. and Powers, Scott W. "Adjusting Chair Time-out Enforcement Procedures for Oppositional Children." Behavioral Therapy. 1990; 21:257-271, and Bean, Arthur W. and Roberts, Mark W. "The Effect of Time-out Release Contingencies on Changes in Child Noncompliance." Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology. 1981, 9: 95-105. 5. Forehand, R.L. and McMahon, R.J. Helping the Noncompliant Child. New York: Guilford Press. 1981; pp. 79-80. 6. Clark, Lynn C. SOS! Help for Parents. Kentucky: Parents Press. 1985; pp. 181-185. 7. Baumrind, Dr. Diana. "The Development of Instrumental Competence Through Socialization. Minnesota Symposia on Child Psychology. 1973; 7:3-46. 8. Trumbull, Den A., and Ravenel, S. DuBose. Spare the Rod New Research Challenges Spanking Critics, Family Policy 1996 Vol. 9, Number 5. 9. Hurlock E.B. Child Growing and Development McGraw-Hill Inc. New York 1993. 10. (WWW.focusonthefamily.com). Accessed 0n 27th Feb. 2007. Read More