Interview a Parent: Relationship between Parent and Child - Assignment Example

? Interview a Parent June 2, EDUC 311 Interview a Parent PART Relationship between Parent and Child Child’s Characteristics The child, a14 year-old male, is physically big in height and weight for his age. He was noted to have been diagnosed by the school physician as bordering as an overweight child and was therefore apparently advised to watch his diet and to engage in regular exercise. He is predominantly reserved, timid, and prefers spending time playing in the computer, after a day in school. His teacher apparently describes him as a good student, with quiet disposition. He does not have any failing mark; but likewise, does not excel in his academic level. He is therefore rated as an average student. He is good in sketching and drawing; does not like to attend social events or family reunions with extended family members; he rarely goes out except to school; and he is basically reported to possess good manners, though rarely takes the initiative to help in household chores. He is reported not to be easily angered, nor hot tempered; he rarely fights with his siblings, or with anyone else, for that matter. His mother disclosed that “as the youngest child, the only challenging event remembered of him was when he broke his left arm from a motorcycle accident – where he rode as a back rider, when his eldest brother took the motorcycle for a spin”. As he apparently learned from that incident, he never attempted to undertake risky activities or endeavors. Overall, the child is described to be secure and happy in his home environment. As stressed, “the most important function of parents is to give their children a happy home — not because it will make them more likely to succeed but because everyone has a right to a happy home life” (Kingsbury, 2009, par. 8). Since the atmosphere is most congenial and happy at home, the child apparently prefers staying home than developing social interactions. Parent’s Responses to Child’s Characteristics and Management of Conflicts The parent, a 50 year old female, is physically, mentally, and emotionally stable to address to the child’s unique needs and characteristics. She reportedly graduated with a master’s degree in business and worked before as a manager of a regional bank. Having met several challenges and difficulties due to the health condition of her husband, who allegedly had diabetes with chronic renal problems, she had to resign from her job and find employment working as a freelance writer through online writing cites. One asked how being a single mother affects her ability to manage conflicts; to which she replied that knowing that she is alone, she had to apply effective parenting style that is deemed most effective to the personalities of her children. Doing so would enable them to address and manage the challenges and conflict well. When her son broke his left arm in the abovementioned motorcycle accident, she reported that both she and her husband immediately brought him to the hospital and had him x-rayed. The left arm had to be placed in a cast which allegedly lasted for three months. She noted that she had been a hands-on mother who addressed the different needs of her children; including academic guidance, financial support, emotional and physical assistance, as well as psychological and spiritual through frequent and regular open communication and observance of religious practice. As explicitly the parent stated: “I love all my children and I make sure that I provide them with unconditional love and holistic support, as needed. Since their father’s death in 2010, it had been so challenging to support all of them and assuming the roles of provider, mother, housekeeper, writer, guidance counselor, and of course, a confidante, as they would require.” The situation exhibited by the parent-child relationship corroborated Luxton’s (2011 assertion that “because child rearing involves ensuring the physical, emotional and social development of a child from the total dependency of infancy to the relative autonomy of the adult, parent-child relationships are among the most important and compelling in most people’s lives” (p. 14). Likewise, since the mother is solely the caregiver and food provider, the son has made an attachment to the mother, as explained in Frameworks for Understanding Development in the Family (2013), that “feeding is central to the development of attachment to mom” (p. 3). Overall Parenting Style From the interview, one could deduce that the parent exhibited and exemplified a democratic parenting style. She indicated that she gives her child the prerogative to make decisions for himself, especially with regards to doing his homework, deciding what recreational activities to undertake, the manner of encouraging open communication, and in going to social activities. However, she expects them to seek permission and relay any extra-curricular activities beyond the regular school schedule. When asked how she instills discipline for her child, the parent answered: “I converse with the child to determine why a mistake or an error has been committed; then, I explain in great clarity and concise detail what the expected behavior is according to ethical, moral or legal standards”. She said that she advises the child not to repeat the same mistakes in the future. She said that she does not believe in corporal punishment. So far, she said, her 14-year old son has not been engaged in any conflicts or behavioral problems in school or at home. From the results of the interview, it could be deduced that the mother has effectively created a secure attachment for the son due to her exhibiting “sensitivity, mutuality, synchronicity; (and) positive attitude” (Frameworks for Understanding Development in the Family, 2013, p. 10). The characteristics of the son evidently showed signs of security, wholesomeness, and confidence on oneself as being able to adapt and adjust to the demands of his external environment. PART 2: Family System and Ecological Context Family System One asked what are the factors that contribute to his growth and development as seen from their family system: their residence, source of income, members who play a significant role in their lives. According to the mother: the child belongs to a family with 5 other siblings: all boys and he is the youngest. The family lives in a rented apartment with the mother as the sole breadwinner and supporter of all their needs. Only recently has it been indicated by the mother that the eldest son graduated from college and has just recently been employed. As such, the other members who play a significant role in the parent and child’s life include the mother’s maternal aunties, as well as her brother and sister, who each have separate houses but lives within the same city. Since these extended family members seldom interact and coordinate with them, as a family, they rarely influence the regular decisions made within the nuclear family, especially in terms of the child’s development. These extended family members are seen only in some special occasions such as Christmas or birthdays and intermittent family reunions. One aunt was reported to regularly visit them at their home and provide some assistance in kind; through purchasing groceries and assisting the mother in her laundry work during the visit. This confirms the veracity of the statement that “linked to the ideal of the nuclear family is a widespread assumption that, ideally, all adults should be able to rely on their own resources to provide for the needs of daily life. Those resources include family members who can be called on to offer care and other kinds of support” (Luxton, 2011, p. 19). According to the parent, “the sole decision maker is me, especially with regards to financial matters”. In activities at home, like watching TV, playing in their personal computers, or assisting in household chores (of which it was noted that they have been trained to clean their own rooms and wash their own dishes), the children are apparently given the prerogative to decide and apply time management, as long as academic schedule is not compromised. This family system supports the kind of system noted in the lecture which depicts it as a microsystem, where each member interacts with each other; and where there are established patterns in terms of rules, roles, and communication styles (Frameworks for Understanding Development in the Family, 2013). Ecological Context When asked regarding other contextual information that could have significantly affected the growth and development of his son, the mother indicated that the deteriorating health condition of the child’s father, which eventually resulted in stressful situations: moving to another city, changing jobs, and the eventual death of the father left a void and a mark that led to the child’s evident behavior of gaining more maturity, responsibility, resilience and greater understanding. Since the mother was apparently left to do all the support, the child learned to be more responsible in doing his homework with lesser direct guidance and assistance from the mother, and by confining his activities at home. It was reportedly stressful for the child to change school and be immersed in a new academic environment, to develop new friends, and adapt to the new living environment (including a more cramped living space, as allegedly contrasted to a bigger outside space from their previous home) and in a new community. This clearly corroborates Bronfenbrenner’s ecological theory which was posited as defining “four types of systems which contain roles, norms and rules that shape development. The systems include a microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, and macrosystem” (Ahuja, n.d., p. 1). The microsystem was affected due to the absence of the child’s father. The mesosytem, defined as “two Microsystems interacting, such as the connection between a child’s home and school” (Ahuja, n.d., p. 1), was likewise affected since they had to transfer to a new school and had to change the mode of travel from being taken to school by their father to merely walking to and from school. The child’s exosytem was also apparently affected him. The exosytem was defined as “an environment in which an individual is indirectly involved and is external to his experience, yet it affects him anyway” (Ahuja, n.d., p. 1). In their situation, this could very well be the new job that his mother got to be involved in. And finally, the child was affected by the macrosytem through the overall change in local community where they reportedly transferred to. The child’s need to adapt and to adjust to these four types of systems have significantly influenced the path and stage of development that he went through. This could have allegedly contributed to the child’s gaining of excess weight due to activities that were apparently confined at home: playing in the computer, watching television. According to the mother, “his only exercise was his daily walk to and from school, which is about 20-minutes of walking”. As evaluated, his safe and secure home environment is where is allegedly manifests his most satisfied condition, being in the familiar company of his supportive and loving mother; as well as in the company of his siblings. As aptly concluded by Luxton (2011), “people are working harder just to get by and to care for loved ones” (p. 23). This was most evident from the results of the interview with a parent, who solely, bravely, and holistically supports her son and other siblings to ensure that they are provided with a happy, secure, and loving environment. References Frameworks for Understanding Development in the Family. 2013. Ahuja, Y. (n.d.). Bronfenbrenner Ecological Theory. Retrieved from mymontessoriacademy.com: http://www.mymontessoriacademy.com/newsletters/websitebronfenbrennerecologicaltheory.pdf Kingsbury, K. (2009, February 24). Why Parents (Still) Don't Matter. Retrieved from Time: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/ 0,8599,1881384,00.html Luxton, M. (2011). Changing Families, New Understandings. Contemporary Family Trends, 1-46. Appendix A: Interview Questions and Responses Q: Hi, Mrs. A, I hope you are doing well. To commence the interview, may I know how old is your child? And what is the gender? A: Hello. My child is actually 14 years old, male. He is the youngest among my six children: all boys. Q: What are his characteristics, traits and personality from your perspective? A: He is shy, reserved, spends most of his time playing in the computer; he is good student, according to his teacher who is basically quiet. He passed all his subjects but does not excel in his academic level. He is good in sketching and drawing; a very private child, does not like social events. He has very good manners, but tends to be lazy in doing household chores. He is slow to anger, nor hot tempered; rarely fights with his siblings, or with anyone else, for that matter. Q: Wow. That is a good description of him. What is the most memorable challenging event of him? A: As the youngest child, the only challenging event remembered of him was when he broke his left arm from a motorcycle accident – where he rode as a back rider, when his eldest brother took the motorcycle for a spin. Q: How did you handle that? A: My husband and I immediately brought him to the hospital where his left arm was X-rayed and put into a cast. It lasted for about three months. Q: I hope you would not mind, but – how old are you now? And where have you been employed? A: I am now 50 years old. I graduated with a master’s degree in business and worked before as a manager of a regional bank. I am now supporting my children because my husband died two years ago of chronic renal failure. He had diabetes for a long time and I had to resign to take care of his needs and of the children; I am now working as an online freelance writer. Q: Oh. That must have been very difficult for you. How do you bear all the challenges? A: I love all my children and I make sure that I provide them with unconditional love and holistic support, as needed. Since their father’s death in 2010, it had been so challenging to support all of them and assuming the roles of provider, mother, housekeeper, writer, guidance counselor, and of course, a confidante, as they would require. Q: I understand. What is your parenting style? A: I am a democratic parent. I give the children the leeway to decide what is best for themselves – with basic rules, of course. However, they should still seek my permission in going out of their school activities. Q: How do you instill discipline for your child? A: I converse with the child to determine why a mistake or an error has been committed; then, I explain in great clarity and concise detail what the expected behavior is according to ethical, moral or legal standards. Q: Where do you currently live? And are there other family members who support you? A: We rent a 5-room apartment. My auntie visits us frequently and brings us grocery items and food. She likewise helps me with the laundry. I get to see my brother and sister, who lives in the same city, but only in special occasions: Christmas, birthdays, reunions. Therefore, the sole decision maker is me, especially with regards to financial matters. Q: What other factors contributed to the growth and development of your son? A: The deteriorating health condition of his father resulted in stressful situations. We had to move to new city, had to change jobs. When his father died, of course, he was greatly missed. When we moved, my children just walked to school and they confined their activities at home to playing in the computer and watching TV. Q: Do you think these have affected his personality and growth? A: His only exercise was his daily walk to and from school, which is about 20-minutes of walking. I think it contributed to his being overweight and his decision to be mostly isolated. Q: Oh. Thank you so much for your time and for answering all my questions, Mrs. A. A: You are most welcome. God bless. Read More