Qualities I Lacked to Work Effectively in a Group - Personal Statement Example

?Experience I am narrating an incident that took place about two years ago to reflect upon the experience I achieved. After having my graduation in the year 2004, I wanted to get a job. It was my ambition to join MSF and I had my first job in Angola. However, on reaching there, I found the situations entirely different from what I perceived and things were not happening as I wished. First of all, as I was a beginner, there was a lot of supervision on me and unfortunately, most of the time, what I did was judged wrong. In the busy situation there, no one seemed interested in offering a helping hand, nor was anyone ready to let me have enough time to get used to the situations. Thus, in a short time, I was considered an epitome of imperfection and inefficiency. Sooner, I found two categories of supervisors for me; one that was too rude to my all actions and another category that was showing sympathy to me. I found no one who tried to understand my potential and readiness to work and to respect my ego. Being an egocentric person, the situation was too difficult for me to survive. Being a person who always liked to outperform others and too intolerant in failures, I found the situation humiliating far beyond my expectations. Along with these, the hard reality hit my mind that my abilities were not as good as I expected and I had a long way to go to prove my mettle. It became a nightmare for me to work in the group in field. Many a time, I found my seniors engaging other members in the team with works that I could do better and adding to my woes, I always erred or had insufficient knowledge in the ones I was handed. I was getting criticized but had no way to react as I found myself in a world where no one seemed interested in recognizing the talent of another one; instead everyone was looking for ways to undermine others. It was a picture that I never dreamt of. There were two things that I lacked; lack of knowledge in certain specific areas and lack of experience. It was too confusing for me to take a decision; on one hand, I wanted to quit the profession for ever and on the other I wanted to prove my abilities after getting required qualifications. Finally, I decided to put off my ego and asked my tutor about the future course I had to adopt. She was more than ready to provide advice and on her advice and support, I decided to join this course so that I can improve my knowledge and have a new beginning with sufficient knowledge. In addition, I wrote to MSF after joining my course and I am advised to complete my studies to apply for even better positions in MSF. Now, I am happy that I did not lose heart and give up the idea. Feelings – looking in The incident made me look deep into the wide variety of emotions that ruled my mind at that time. As I already mentioned I had an egalitarian nature and I had problem accepting suggestions and advice and I always nurtured the feeling that I am better than others and it was so in my academic pursuit. However, out in the field, I found it hard to digest that what I do just goes wrong or the workplace requires more ability than I possessed. It was totally indigestible and unbelievable in the beginning as my ego did not accept it that easily. Still, I knew very well that I could do much better than what many others did but had no opportunity. I found it humiliating as I was very often criticized for the lack of knowledge. Now I have to accept the fact that the reason behind my misery at work was mostly because of my ego and lack of knowledge compounded with my dislike to seek help from others. However, the feeling of utter disappointment made me seek help, though reluctantly, and when I sought advice and became ready to accept, the solution was immediate. In other words, it was my lack of patience, humility and friendliness that made the issue unnecessarily complex. Other things that hindered my vision at that critical situation were my avoidant nature, egoistic attitude and extreme levels of pride Looking out – external factors affecting decision A look back into the workplace proves that it was not too cruel or exceptionally unfriendly as I found it. It was my attitude that made the situation worse. I expected to have a highly friendly workplace and had high expectations about my own performance. I think my response to my colleagues and seniors was too arrogant; an immature mixture of ego, intolerance and pride. Thus, it became entirely difficult for my group members to help me out. In addition, I was reluctant even to accept the sympathy some offered. Other members in my team had a rather tough time as my nature was too arrogant and intolerable. I think it killed the beauty of group work and affected the quality of work. They accepted me as an inevitability often showing artificial love and respect that I did not deserve with that kind of an attitude. I knew very well how poor my performance was and how direly I needed more knowledge and expertise in certain fields. Still, to keep me going, my colleagues were offering me unconditional support, despite my arrogant attitude. I cannot say that what I did was the best option in such a situation. Someone else could handle the situation better and could find a better solution. There were a number of factors affecting my behavior. The first thing was the totally wrong perception I possessed about the workplace and the nature of the work. Another factor was my lack of knowledge and extremely high expectations. In addition, I was dangerously egoistic with an avoidant nature. If I had sufficient knowledge about the nature of the work and workplace and if I had enough knowledge in the work I was engaged in, the situation could be better. If I were ready to seek help and accept advice, I could avoid a lot of sufferings. Reflexivity In fact, it was lack of previous experience that affected me badly. If I had sufficient knowledge, I could handle the situation better. First of all, I could accept my lack of knowledge in a positive way and ask advice from my seniors. In that case, much of the embarrassment for me and my group could be avoided. If I accepted the fact in the beginning and sought help, either they would assign me with the kind of jobs I could do or would suggest me the best thing I could do to do my job effectively thus creating a conducive atmosphere. Now, looking back into those days, I think that my behavior as a beginner was not so good and lack of personal qualities was evident throughout. It was lack of humility, avoidant nature and pride that ruined my beginning. However, the step I took at the end was not so bad either. Though it was a bit late, the step I took was good. I still retain the chances of getting a better position in MSF after completing my studies and this time, the performance will be much better than the pervious one. From the experience, I understood the fact that it is necessary to seek advice from others at times and extreme levels of ego and arrogance will spoil ones relations. In addition, always there is a way out for every problem and one should not get desperate and frustrated on issues. Moreover, it is necessary to think how others feel about you at every juncture of decision making. In total, this experience taught me a lot about life. First of all, next time, when I join a job, I will have ample knowledge to handle the job I undertake and in addition, in case of difficulties, I will not hesitate to seek help from others and thirdly, I will not lose heart when I face difficulties. The incidence is an eye-opener in the fact that it made me realize what qualities I lacked to work effectively in a group; patience, humility and friendliness. It was only my utter failure that made me seek help. Otherwise I was in the danger of continuing with my arrogant way of behavior that could play spoilsport with my social relations. In addition, there were certain things I had to necessarily remove from my nature. They were my avoidant nature, egoistic attitude and extreme levels of pride. In addition, I gained enough insight about the feelings of new comers and now, I can be a good team player with adequate levels of understanding and cooperation. Though in an indirect and painful way, I learnt certain lessons that are beneficial in life. Read More