My Friendship and Love - Essay Example

FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I almost said these words aloud although I was alone in my living room last night. The first glass of drink had begun to show its effects. I was about to mix the second drink of vodka and beer when I heard the phone bell ring. “Hello.” I spat the word into the receiver as I dashed the beer into the glass. A sad voice came from the other end. A deep, soft voice. As sad as the dark night. As soft as the raindrops falling on the window-pane. “Kevin.” It was my friend Brian of course. “Yeah. What’s up?” I asked. “I broke up with my girl today.” He stated plainly, quickly, as if he had been saying it over and over again, practicing, before calling me. He sounded sad and drunk. I could almost sense his body swaying as he held the receiver. Unsteady body. Unsteady mind. I emptied the second glass. “Nope. You’ve been dumped.” I swayed unsteadily. The drink spread through my head, my whole body. I felt elated. I could not take his words seriously. This was not the first time. Every time he called, I half expected the words from him. This must have been the tenth time he was telling me that he had broken with his girl. I was rather harsh. My words hit strong, like the drink. Why, I thought he and his girlfriend had more days being broken up than dating together. Tomorrow, they would be back in each other’s arms, swaying passionately, making promises. Ha! Ha! I was surprised when he muttered, “I hope she will be happy. I hope she will smile again soon. I hope, I hope ----“. His voice sounded tearful. “Brian?” I had to cheer him up, before he burst into tears. I debated with myself for a while and swallowed another glass. Then I blurted out.” Oh Brian! Let us laugh man! Laugh it off. --- Ha, ha!” I laughed as loud as I could. I was trying to sound cheerful. “I think my brother Carlos can hear you laugh from Mexico.” He said angrily, but spontaneously. Perhaps, I laughed a bit too loudly? The sound of the rain had become louder. “You dirty monkey. You laugh loudly when your friend is heartbroken.” He was really hurt. He did worry about me when I broke up with my girl a few months back. I was sorry for him. “Oh yeah! I just remembered, you laughed louder when I broke up with my girl. I think my mother in Korea heard you at that time. You dirty skunk.” I shot back at him in a high voice. He did not reply. I heard the sound of a sip, followed by a moan over the phone. I guess he took another shot of alcohol. I took a sip of mine and gurgled the bitterness I felt for him in my mouth. I gulped it down my throat. Why had he called me? Surely he wanted to talk to someone about the break up. He wanted to cry about it. I felt bad that I couldn’t be there when he needed me. The rain had kept us indoors. “What are you drinking?” he asked. “Vodka and beer’. “You dirty skunk. Why do you have to drink those nasty shots that remind you of yourself?” This was too much. Look at this guy! I guess he didn’t call me because he wanted to talk to someone. He called me to pick a fight. He must be feeling lonely and bored. He wanted to raise his spirits. A fight and some shots of drink. That is what he was having. I thought to myself and I laughed. “What are you drinking?” I asked. “Some German whiskey with hot baked potatoes”. He spoke proudly. I had to give him back. “Ah! No wonder your breath smells like rotten potatoes all the time.” “ Ha, ha. Very funny. Funny indeed from a person with legs shorter than his arms! Dirty donkey!” It was getting more and more unpleasant. “Oh you better thank God that your legs are longer than mine, because that’s the only thing you have got more than me.” Surely, I thought, we were friends. We had been friends since childhood. I had every intention of cheering him up. But surely, this was a quarrel. “You don’t even put on your underwear when you go out.” He puffed between gulps of drink. He sounded proud once again, and triumphant. “I? Why, it’s you who wets your jeans even with your underwear on! Dirty skunk.” I tried to be calm, but powerful. “You dirty monkey. You had to bring up that OLD story now. There is nothing else you can harp on. Dirty monkey.” “OLD story? Ha ha. It was only last year.” I remembered. He was 27. He had filled himself up to the throat with drink that night. He had forgotten to put his pants down while using the toilet. Dirty skunk. “Well, it was you who paraded outside with no underwear and training pants last year!” He trailed on and on. I shot back at him. How could he be so clear with details in this state of mind? He was disturbed. He was drunk. He had broken up with his girl. I couldn’t believe it! After half an hour of fighting over the phone, he paused. A long pause. I thought he had slipped to the ground. Rotten potato. I was about to cut off. “Kevin?” A pitiable tone, as if he was on the verge of tears. Did I imagine this? I did not reply. Instead, I treated myself to another shot of alcohol. Perhaps, it would tickle my memory like his. I held on to the phone. Suddenly, he burst into tears. I didn’t say another word. I did not want to be harsh. I just held on and let him cry. “I still think you are a dirty monkey”, he said, in a tone of finality, and blew his nose. Then he gave a sigh of calmness. Thank God! I did not want it to start all over again. I did not want to hurt him. No more unpleasant memories. “That’s why I come to you and you come to me. Because I still think you are a rotten potato.” We did not want to cry, so we laughed. We did not want to fight, but we fought. We laughed and fought and cried and laughed again. This always happened when we wanted to talk to each other about something. We always picked a fight when we did not want to. “She will be happy?” he asked. “Hmm. The man won’t be like you, so she will be happy”, I replied. Wow! That was a good one I managed. It pierced and immediately rubbed off. He grumbled. “Thanks”. He sounded calm and satisfied. I had been calm and satisfied when he had said the same words to me few months back. That was when I broke up with my girlfriend. The drink! Rotten memories. Why did I remember the same words now? Couldn’t I have said something else? I swallowed another glass for inspiration. He emptied three before he spoke again. “I think I am getting old like you. I can understand her, so I want her to be happy with her man, whoever he is.” He said sadly, then added,” Kevin, she has the most beautiful smile”. “I have the younger look though”, I said. “Dirty monkey”, he retorted. “You are finally able to see the whole forest Brian”, I told him. “Forest?” he asked. I scratched my head. Honestly, I could not manage serious conversations. If at all I take efforts, it would be for a girl. Certainly not for a guy. For Brian? Perhaps. Sometimes, I become serious, like last night. It was the dark night, the pattering rain. First, we could see only the trees. Our vision was blurred by sadness, betrayal and pain. Now, we have opened our eyes. We can see the whole forest. That is why, I want her to be happy. I want Brian to be happy. I want him to see the whole forest. She has the most beautiful smile, he had said. Every tree in the forest is marked by her smiles. I had seen my forest few months ago, when I was going through a similar phase. Stirring memories. “How much time will I need? How much time did you need?” he asked. I guess he was asking how much time I needed to get over the pain. “That depends upon your forest”, I answered. I wondered what Brian would find in the forest. I wonder what each one of us finds. As we move on in our lives, we come across so many people, love and pain. We get into relationships, break off with others, and the cycle restarts. Relationships of friendship, love, business, family etc. Brian and I always tell each other that our friendship is not good. But personally, I love and honor our friendship. I know he does too. I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. The phone rang again the next morning and woke me up. “Kevin, we got back together. We have made up man”. That was Brian again. I opened my mouth to speak, but he had already cut off. Dirty skunk. That wasn’t enough for him. A text message followed. Kevin, what ya up to in Christmas? Bring your girl and we will go on a double date. Oh yeah! You’ve been single for a while huh? Ooops! Sorry! Ha, ha! ( Sigh ) This dirty monkey. Read More