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It's Never Late to Evolve - Research Paper Example

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The purpose of this essay is to illustrate the idea that it is never too late to evolve. The author cites as an example a woman from a dysfunctional family who, despite a car accident, loss of her husband and one eye found the strength and enthusiasm to take up her own development…
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Its Never Late to Evolve
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Developmental Portrait The person I interviewed was a woman, at age 55. Corinne was born and raised in Florida with two parents and one sibling, a brother. Her family was the typical dysfunctional family involving substance abuse, undiagnosed psychological issues, verbal and physical abuse, and ultra religiosity of both parents. She made the traditional milestones involved with coming of age, having graduated with honors from high school and completing college with a Bachelors degree at age 30. She was married briefly to her children’s father at age 20, but, after being abandoned prior to the birth of her second child, continued on to raise the children alone. She remarried at age 31, but her husband died eight months later of a cerebral hemorrhage as he drove to work one day. One year later, the family relocated from Tennessee back to Florida. At age 35, she became a grandmother, adopting her daughter’s child and his sibling two years later. In essence, she was mother, grandmother and new mother as she approached midlife. As Corinne entered midlife, she began to rethink her career, physical fitness, and future. With two small preschoolers, she felt a little bit hindered; yet felt that change was possible. She began to create a plan for physical fitness that included walking five miles on the beach with her dog every day. One of the challenges of midlife is maintaining a healthy balance between generativity and stagnation as well as dealing with the beginning of physical decline (Saenz, 2010); this was how she decided to deal with the biological effects of midlife. Her job at a local hospital was a night shift position, which left her time during the day to be actively involved in early morning preschool activities for her adopted grandsons, as well as being available for the needs of her teenagers; a son and daughter. She felt committed to giving them the best possible education and being a nurturing parent, which, at times was overwhelming due to being a single parent. It was also at this time, around her fortieth birthday, that she began to realize her energy levels weren’t as high as before; she required more sleep than the usual five hours a night. Dealing with so many factors as well as role conflict and strain created a type of crisis for Corinne (Saenz, 2010). In the Spring, after her fortieth birthday, Corinne was involved in an automobile accident while her teenage son was driving. This left her hospitalized for one week, spending two more months at home in a hospital bed. In many ways, she considered this accident to be an epiphany moment requiring her to make necessary changes in order to survive healthfully at every level; spiritually, physically, socially, psychologically, financially, and emotionally. She emerged with tremendous temporary physical disabilities, which eventually required hip replacement surgery two years later, yet she was firmly convinced that the best part of her life was in the future, not behind her. Erikson says this time of life can best be defined as a time of introspection where one evaluates life to find meaningful purpose and balance (Boeree, p. 7). As Corinne struggled to regain her physical health, she became aware that there was a silent scream inside her slowly rising; causing her to question everything she had known to be true about herself, like a piece of her waiting to be born. It was through this self-discovery process she began to feel like she hadn’t lived at all, but was merely a caretaker for all whom she loved. Erickson felt that generativity to the point of overextension was a maladaptive approach, which occurs when there are multiple roles for one person to assume (Boeree, pg 7). Not wanting to disrupt the youngest children emotionally, she waited until they chose to go live with their biological mother, to address the issues involving the internal crisis she was experiencing. This left her with an abruptly empty nest at age 50; a chance to totally re-examine her life. She relocated to Tennessee to begin her reinvention, however, the change was short lived as Corinne was attacked by someone who broke into her home and stabbed her 31 times; he was on drugs. She lost the use of one eye, and had multiple surgeries and reconstructive attempts physically; returning to her family in Florida after two years of rehabilitation. Thankfully, there were no psychological scars associated with this attack; Corinne said, “I just didn’t process it. He didn’t know me, and I didn’t know him, so there was no reason for me to assume it was a personal thing; he was on drugs and didn’t know what he was doing. I have always felt that what doesn’t kill me just makes me stronger.” She has had ample opportunity to develop immense emotional and personal strength during her lifespan. Socially, Corinne had few friends; most of her time was spent in caretaking and wage earning activities. Occasionally she met with either or both of the friends she knew from twenty years prior when she first moved to Jacksonville, Florida. Most of her social activities involved various church and school activities involving the children; she had not developed close friendships, nor did she have much in the way of a support system. This was the result of unsuccessful passage through stage six, love versus isolation, as well as earlier issues involving self confidence and trust while living with her family of origin. (Wikipedia.org, 2010) Career wise, Corinne had begun a Bachelors degree in Nursing, but, due to unresolved confidence issues, in her senior year, she was dropped from the program and completed by taking a degree in Health Science. She was not pro-active in finding ways to capitalize on her degree, thereby spending much of her adulthood in low paying clerk type jobs on nursing units and medical records departments in local hospitals. This led to burnout and resentment; she felt she was comparable to the nurses due to her training and knowledge base. She experienced little satisfaction from the work she did, continually searching for a job from which she could earn a livable wage, as well as have a sense of contentment, accomplishment, and respect from her coworkers. Burnout is often the result of overextension; a part of the midlife crisis (Saenz,2010). Corinne maintained the care for her mother during this time as well. Her mother had untreated bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder, and was divorced from Corinne’s father. She had remarried late in life and her new husband had passed away, leaving Corinne’s mother totally dependent on her for daily support. The mother wasn’t an invalid, although she had a physical crisis that hospitalized her in intensive care for two months. After discharge from the hospital, Corinne adjusted her work schedule so that she could care for her mother during the daylight hours and work at night, in addition to caring for her family. Along with the daily care, Corinne was also subjected to constant verbal abuse, which reopened childhood wounds and further decreased her self-esteem and confidence. The caregiver burden, accompanied by the hormonal changes associated with women in midlife, led Corinne into a depression in which she used food as a drug and gained nearly 60 pounds. As a single parent raising children and grandchildren, and with the lack of self-confidence firmly ingrained from both childhood and several milestone failures, she was unable to earn enough for the family to be comfortable. With both her children, and adopted grandchildren gone, she began to be restless in her career, actively seeking new training in order to make a career switch. At 52, she took some online courses and became certified to teach English as a Second Language. She had always wanted to become a teacher and enjoyed working with helping people to learn; nursing was just an attempt to make enough money to support her family as a single parent. Another goal that Corinne had set was to travel abroad to experience other cultures; she especially loved ancient Egyptian history. Having accumulated no savings, retirement or other financial support from meaningless jobs, teaching would be a way to make it possible. She transferred the care of her aging and demented mother to her brother, who had no family of his own to be concerned with. Relocating to Alexandria, Egypt, she spends the school year teaching Egyptian school children and adults studying for their TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language) exams. She currently obtains great satisfaction from her work, also volunteering time at a local orphanage for girls in Alexandria, teaching English and critical thinking skills. She spends the summers with her children and grandchildren at their beach home in Florida. It was also at this time that Corinne began to revisit her relationship status and work through the issues preventing her from gaining a satisfying, closer, personal relationship. She had resolved her physical appearance crisis as much as possible, and met a younger man from Egypt, beginning a relationship with him. This relationship proved to be close, caring, satisfying, and remains a current part of her life, thus, bringing successful completion to her sixth stage of development. Erikson felt that life presents us with many opportunities, challenges and crises enabling us to successfully master them before moving into the next stage. He also allowed for unsuccessful completion of one stage, while still moving forward in other areas, and for the chance to return and satisfy unsuccessful attempts (Huitt, 2008). Corinne was raised in an ultra religious, yet highly dysfunctional family, which mandated that she attend church several times a week and adhere to a strict code of conduct and beliefs. She continued to pursue this throughout her life with little satisfaction or success, feeling that the more she attempted to follow the religion, the less of a person and the more confused she became. After nearly 30 years of searching for the truth, she came to abandon religion as a social vehicle, while embracing only the spiritual aspects of connectivity with a higher source, thereby bringing her much peace and satisfaction, which she retains today. Another goal Corinne has always embraced is her love of writing. She had very little time for it while overextended with caretaking activities; however, now, she writes stories for her grandchildren as a legacy, and enjoys freelancing while currently working on a book about her time in Egypt. She remains healthy and active (exercising with Tai Chi daily and not requiring any maintenance medication), and somewhat socially connected; although she says she’s not a “social butterfly”, but is very happy with her socialization. She loves making a contribution to the children of Egypt through education, and enjoys adventure through the various sightseeing adventures she and her partner take. Her mother has passed away, bringing closure to many of the unresolved early childhood issues. Corinne describes herself as “healthy, happy, highly satisfied, and successful as a human being”. She has a much healthier self-concept, feels she knows herself well, and really likes the person she has become, referring to herself as “my own best friend”. She sees each new day as a blessing and challenge for finding new adventure, and is looking forward to the rest of her life. Understanding growth and development helps people to put things into perspective as they see various events occurring during their life cycle by answering the questions “when” and “why” that is a prominent part of the journey. When we can look at the various stages we’ve completed and feel successful in conquering those tasks, we feel a sense of accomplishment and normalcy, reducing the fear of the unknown and giving us confidence to complete the journey. References Boeree, C.G. Erik Erikson 1902-1994. Psych. 345. Suny.2007. Web. 4 Dec. 2010. Pp. 1-9. http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/ewaters/345/2007_erikson/erikson.pdf Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development. Wikipedia.org; 2010. Web. 4 Dec.2010. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erikson's_stages_of_psychosocial_development Huitt, W. (2008). Socioemotional Development. Educational Psychology Interactive. Valdosta, GA: Valdosta State University. Web. 4 Dec. 2010. http://www.edpsycinteractive.org/topics/affsys/erikson.html. Saenz, K. Social and Personality Development in Middle Adulthood. Houston Community College Southeast. Psych 2314. HCC 2010. Web. 4 Dec. 2010. http://m.se.hccs.edu/Users/karen.saenz/Web/index.php?p=Chapter%2016 Read More
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