The Movie Playing by Heart - Essay Example

The movie Playing by Heart Discuss the attraction, attachment, and commitment involved in relationships 1, 2, 3, and 4. Explain what attracted these couples to each other and made it possible for their attachment to grow. State whether you think they have healthy, permanent, and committed “until-death-do-us-part” relationships. In relationships 3 & 4: will the couples cohabit? should they cohabit? will they marry? will they have children? Explain your reasons for the answers you give. In all the relationships involving romance, attraction was easy for everyone that is why they paired up. Attachment and commitment was a different story, however, because each individual had a different background. Hannah and Paul, married for 40 years survived Paul’s brief infidelity even if he and Hannah only had closure about that affair recently. Theirs is a case of true love that conquered all and is the kind of marriage that is permanent and not fleeting. Gracie and Hugh’s marriage was on the rocks because boredom set in and Gracie did not think Hugh had enough imagination to make their marriage more exciting, that is why Hugh kept trying to invent stories and sell these to women in bars to prove to himself that he is still an interesting man. Gracie, however, goes off to have a physical affair with a man he thought was exciting. Their marriage was not built on a strong foundation because the commitment to each other was flimsy and consistently needed concrete proof that they were worthy of each other. Meredith and Trent’s relationship is new, thanks to Trent’s devotion and persistence in breaking down the high wall that Meredith had built around herself. Being able to get through to her was a major breakthrough that both he and Meredith had a great chance of a successful relationship. The same is true of Joan and Keenan who met casually at a bar. Although their lives seem to be shallow, once they opened up to each other and decided to become vulnerable, they discovered what love was. The movie seemed to point out that once walls are broken down and the person inside agrees to be exposed until another person gets to love him or her for what he or she is, then the love that will grow from it is true. The couples Meredith and Trent and Joan and Keenan have chances to have happy marriages and probably children to complete their families. This is because they have made a decision to be honest with each other and to live without pretenses. 1. Discuss and evaluate the primary relationship between Paul and Hannah. Explain how they deal with intimacy, power, and love and how they understand marriage. Give examples of how their behaviors express their hopes and aspirations about love, marriage, children, and family. Paul and Hannah had very different philosophies with regards to relationships. Paul was in love with Wendy 25 years ago but he chose to stay with his wife and children when Wendy moved away. Hannah took everything in just to save the family from breaking apart until both of them reconciled without talking about issues that bothered them. It was only until later when they discovered how ill Paul was that they endeavoured to be open to each other. Paul revealed that he fell in love with another woman because he wanted to feel again what made Hannah fall in love with him. With Wendy, he felt great and “vindicated” as a man who had a successful wife and left in the shadows. However, no matter how he felt for Wendy, he still knew that he was committed to his family. On they both journeyed through life as marriage partners, and have now reached a milestone, celebrating 40 years of marital togetherness and raised three lovely and loving daughters who had lives of their own. 2. Did Paul have an “affair” with Wendy? Is this kind of relationship wrong for a marriage? How do you understand the explanation that Paul gives to Hannah about his relationship with Wendy? How would you compare Paul’s relationship with Wendy and Gracie’s relationship with Roger? Paul had an emotional affair with Wendy however, they never engaged in sex. As a man, Paul needed his ego to be massaged once in a while by women. Although he was very sexually attracted to Wendy, he kept firm on not sleeping with her because that would mean he will be leaving his wife and children. On the other hand, Gracie and Robert had a sexual relationship initially until they started to share their life experiences with each other and they turned out to be just good friends. 3. Select any two characters, a woman and a man, but a woman and a man NOT in a relationship with each other. Explain how each of those two characters think about and act out love and intimacy. Indicate what each of those two characters does or says that indicates his/her beliefs and aspirations about life, love, and intimate relationships. Trent was a persistent and understanding man who was in search of a more permanent relationship. Perhaps he was challenged by Meredith who was afraid of letting herself go and be involved with anyone because she was afraid to get hurt. However, Trent stayed on and waited until she was ready to fall in love with him. He acknowledged that being a director, Meredith was accustomed to being in control, but even as a man, he was willing to follow. “I take direction very well” is a statement manifesting his submission to her, to show her that he was there for her whenever she’s ready to commit to him. Meanwhile, he shall patiently wait. Eventually, his patience paid off because Meredith finally gave in and fell in love with him completely. Joan was a heartbroken woman who had failed relationships but she does not lose hope. She is still eager to love someone, specifically the reluctant and mysterious Keenan who believes he cannot love because he is damaged goods. To that, Joan replied, “We’re all damaged goods. I’m wandering around life with hardly any purpose or goal at all, I don’t know what I’m doing half the time... but I know that I can love”. She was referring to her love for him which was unconditional. She accepts him even if he might be infected with AIDS. 4. What does the film say about family? How do Paul & Hannah, Mark and Mildred, and Gracie and Hugh and Roger understand family? What is the difference? How do you understand family? The film showed the modern realities of family dynamics, that whatever happens, wherever life takes us, we can always count on the love of a family to welcome us back. There might be pain involved, but love heals it and restores the relationship to be a huge comfort against all the hurt experienced in the world. Paul and Hannah, surviving the challenges of a long-time marriage stayed on because of love for each other and their children. Mark and Mildred were able to reconnect, sending off Mark to a peaceful death and Mildred to a closure she badly needed from the pain of being isolated from Mark for a long time. On the contrary, Gracie and Hugh and Roger may have been weak links in terms of love and commitment as they succumbed to temptation and ego but in the end, kindness prevailed and second chances were taken to restore what was broken by their weaknesses. My understanding of family is that it is a source of love and joy. It is a haven to protect one from being drowned out by the pain experienced in the world. It is a precious gift that needs to be cherished and continuously nurtured with love, commitment, patience and understanding. 5. What does this line from the film mean—“Talking about love is like dancing about architecture”? Does it apply to any of the relationships? Talking about love is like dancing about architecture means that love is difficult to explain just by talking just as architecture cannot be explained by dancing. Talking about love cannot be fully understood without knowing one’s background and the experiences he or she had with love. Keenan and Meredith had a difficult time opening up to the opportunity of love because of past hurts. They just could not say they can love or cannot love because they, themselves are not sure anymore. If their prospective partners, Joan and Trent can only understand their past and how it affects their capability to love, then Keenan and Meredith would have a much easier time opening up and maybe taking a chance with them. 7. What character or characters do you relate to most? Why? I can relate to the characters of Joan and Paul who hunger to feel that they are loved in a special way. Joan does not give up on love even if she has been hurt in the past. She keeps getting up, holding on to her ideal, and hoping that someone true will come along to give her back the love she can give him. Paul strayed in his marriage because he knew that he needed to feel love for himself so he can love his wife more. Wendy was just instrumental in that process. Paul felt the need to revive his love for his wife by feeling good about himself. That way, he can offer her more. Read More