Rise of Stay at Home Fathers - Case Study Example

Name: Instructor: Course: Date: Word Count: 2020 Case study on stay at home dad Background This case study involves a stay at home father who is struggling with biases from other stay at home women attending the same playgroup as him. The society believes that men should go to work and fend for their families while the women stay at home and not the other way round. As a result, this father feels belittled by the women, which makes it hard for him to connect with them. He however does not have another option since his son really enjoys being in the playgroup. It is easy to identify with him and know where he is coming from as a practitioner. Due to the current financial times, more men are opting to take care of the children while the women go to work. Many dads who stay at home to take care of their children often feel shunned by the women just as what women felt when going into professions that were male dominated(Smith, p. 24). This father, therefore, feels lonely and that is why he wants to connect with the mothers in the playgroup, so that he can have adult conversations while still taking care of his son. According to the British Social Attitudes Survey, 33 percent of people think that mums should be the ones to stay at home; 28 percent are for mums working full time while 43 percent think mums should only work part-time(British Social Attitudes, p. 1). Conversely, it is a different story for the men as the percentage that supports dads to stay at home is almost zero percent. Consequently, once a father makes the decision of being with his children, he not only diverts form the social norms but also jeopardizes his full potential of his role of both a provider and protector.From this case study, I also believe the women feel awkward interacting with the stay at home father, as they do not know what to talk about or how to interact with him. The women may have come from backgrounds where men are not supposed to be left at home changing diapers and doing other child care activities. The women have the notion that men should be associated with business and work success as opposed to nurturing characteristics. Researchshows that fathers who stay at home rate to be less powerful in comparison to women homemakers. Chart showing rise of stay home fathers over the years. Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3130149/Stay-home-mothers-fall-record-low-number-house-husbands-doubles-two-decades.html 2. Observations This stay home dad is facing challenges based on a few factors.The first being environmental factors which mainly involve culture. Culture plays a huge role in people’s perceptions towards men working and women staying at home to be homemakers. The traditional society dictated that women’s role was more of homemakers than being breadwinners(Fletcher, p. 108). Manypeoplebelieve that and so changing from this mindset will take some convincing. This is why the other women are ridiculing this particular stay home dadsince they believe men should go to work while women should stay at home to take care of the children. Practitioner skills is another factor which is contributing to this stay home fathers problem since it gauges whether the fathers skills are of high or low level (Arney & Dorothy, p. 19). This could make him feel conscious and be unable to interact with the other women since he might feel as though they are monitoring him. He may not be able to interact fully to the best of his abilities. Additionally, people believe that only mothers are capable of bonding with babies. Reason being, a mother is has more attachment to the baby unlike the father especially since they are the ones who carry them through pregnancy and nurture them after birth. Therefore, this stay home father may be feeling the pressure from the women since they do see him as capable especially during father inclusive practices. There are certain policy factors that affect the stay home father and his relationship with other women in the playgroup. The playgroup could have certain polices against having fathers or men in general in their groups. Therefore, the fact that this stay home dad wants to be in this playgroup brings tension between him and the women. 3. Goals For this stay at home father there a few specific desired outcomes that he can look forward to in order to enjoy his role of being a dad who stays at home. One of the goal includes creating a connection with the women in the playgroup and changing their mindset.Hecould educate the women about the advantages of being a home with his son while his wife goes to work. Since the women ridicule him for staying at home his main goal should be showing them the upside of his situation. For instance, he spends more time with his son unlike other working fathers, he supports his wife’s career choices and at the end of the day, his family enjoys a comfortable living especially if his wife earns a good salary. Another goal he should possess is being confident in being a stay home father. He should be aware that many other men worldwide who are being left to take care of their children. He should not be ashamed for sacrificing his time to be his son. Most of the home dads experienced some culture shock especially after coming from a work environment full of adults to an isolated environment with one or more children (Coskuner-Balli, p. 84). This is a very challenging situation to go through, however he seems to be happy and that is why he is not ashamed of being with his son in a playgroup full of women. The other goal he should achieve is showing the women in the playgroup what skills he possesses that can be useful in the playgroup. Women usually find it appealing when men show their sensitive side and this can be a great way to establish a connection. When fathers engage with their children, it is through physical play, which many women often encourage. One of the many styles of play includes unstructured, involving competitive wrestle style play also known as the “Rough and Tumble Play”. This kind of play helps children and especially boys to relate better with their friends. Physical play determines achild’s attachment security(Lamb, p. 120). As a last result, this home dad can find another playgroup that he feels his son could be happy in and where he could easily connect with the other women in the playgroup. He could choose not to settle for a playgroup that makes him feel self-conscious and guilty for being a home dad. This new group could accept him wholly without any judgments and this can be a great decision not only for him but also for his son. 4. Strategies Once this home dad realizes his goals there are certain strategies he should use in order to attain them. When it comes to changing the women’s mindset on the positive impact of having a stay at home dad, he should initiate the conversations himself. He could start by simply arranging short educational meetings with the women and have the opportunity to show them the benefits of being a home dad. Through the meetings, the women will begin seeing the benefits of stay home dads as opposed to only focusing on the negatives. This will make the women appreciate him more. Attaining confidence of being a home dad will be his prerogative in that he is the one to make the effort to build his esteem and not feel ashamed of agreeing to stay home with his son. He can do this by reading educative materials readily available on the internet and see just how many other men out there are in his predicament. He will get to see the positive outcomes on not only his son but his family as well. The fact that he is supporting his wife to go work or even have some personaltime means that she will be happy and the family will be at a good place too. His wife will have agreater feeling of self-worthbecause of the higher satisfaction existing in their relationship with her husband. While attending this playgroup this home dad can show the women the skills, he possess that that can be handy in the playgroup. Forinstance, he can volunteer to help in the handy work that requires strength, which the women are unable to do. For instance, fixing the play pens if need be, painting the playrooms, lifting heavy equipment’s and such activities.He could also come up with new and safe styles of play for the children. This will make the women appreciate him more for being in the playgroup. If all these strategiesfail,finding another playgroup that he and his son will fit into should be his option. It might prove tiresome and challenging but once he finds such a group he will be equally satisfied. It sometimes is not easy to change people’sperceptions and believes and therefore staying in the group might be draining for him especially if the women do not reciprocate his efforts. The home dad unhappy situation could affect his son also since his level of interaction is limited. 5. Reflection Menusually feel awkward and uncomfortable when opening up to strangers and hence in my future professional work I intend to have quite a number of different strategies when dealing with them. Men and boys often experience cultural pressure to withhold their problems and opening up to someone or seeking help is usually a show of weakness(Chesley, p. 643). One of the strategy is not to stereotype. Many men are open to talking to someone especially when facing different problems. The main question to note is why is therapy tough for some men? Every man differs in how passionately he follows masculine gender roles. Therefore, when a male client comes seeking professional help, I will resist the impulse of labelling and instead seek information in the first session about him and how strongly he conforms to masculine gender roles. I will then look at how willing or not they are to sharing their problem and look at the emotional difficulties. Men are socialized not to admit being weak or having distressing emotions(Burstein, p. 108). Without putting stereotypes, I will be able to get the men and boys be able to feel comfortable enough to tell me their problems easily. Secondly, I will first make a connection with them particularly in the first session, as I believe it is very crucial. If the male client feels that one is listening and identifying with what he is going through, it will be easy to hook him. Conversely, if he feels ashamed from the first session he will back away and not come in for other sessions. I will establish a connection by making the client feel listened to and respected. Men really want to have someone listen to them as in most cases they are usually emotionally isolated. Third strategy is to come up with a way that can conform to the differentstyles of how men interact. For instance, for the young boys I can opt to go for walks with them, toss a ball to the client back and forth in the office as we talk and many others. These techniques I am sure will enable clients to open up more. All men have different personalities but taking a more active approach especially in doing male friendly activities will make the male clients feel comfortable and involved. Byusing these and other strategies I will be able to appeal to the male clients and help them be able to overcome the difficult situations they are going through. Oftentime’s boys grow up knowing that men should not cry or show emotion(Burstein, p. 111). This therefore continues even in adulthood causing them to withhold so much, which can result to negative energy leading to catastrophic results. Work Cited Arney, Fiona, and Dorothy Scott. Working with Vulnerable Families: A Partnership Approach. Cambridge:Cambridge University Press, 2010. Print. British Social Attitudes. Attitudes to gender roles: change over time. 2012. Retrieved on 26th October from http://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/latest-report/british-social-attitudes-30/gender-roles/attitudes-to-gender-roles-change-over-time.as Burstein, Nancy, et al. "Moving toward inclusive practices." Remedial and Special Education 25.2 (2004): 104-116. Chesley, Noelle. "Stay-at-home fathers and breadwinning mother’s gender, couple dynamics, and social change." Gender & Society 25.5 (2011): 642-664. Coskuner-Balli, Gokcen. The Emerging Lifestyle of Stay-at-Home Dads: Creating and Legitimating a New Social Identity in the Marketplace. , 2008. Print. Fletcher, Richard. Bringing fathers in handbook: How to engage with men for the benefit of everyone in the family. 2008. Callaghan: University of Newcastle, Print. Lamb, Michael E., and Charlie Lewis. "Father-child relationships." Handbook of father involvement: Multidisciplinary perspectives 2 (2013): 119-135. Smith, Jeremy A. The Daddy Shift: How Stay-at-Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms, and Shared Parenting Are Transforming the American Family. Boston: Beacon Press, 2009. Print. Read More