Is Dating as Competition Good or Dad - Essay Example

Dating Article summary Dating as a competition was a common feature in the society before the World War II. The article by Beth Bailey was important in the fact that it creates a paradigm that was respected by the society. According to Beth dating in the century of the world war was much different from dating in the 21st century (334). Dating was not respectful of looks, personal excellence or integrity. These features were only significant if they reflected to the number of dates a person goes to. The article also creates the assumption that dating then was a privileged opportunity for one person who could achieve a date. For this reason, dating became a competition rather than a social convention. Men were regarded as popular by the number of dates they can acquire. The author supported this claims by arguing about his high school days. In his class, there was a gentleman who was named as the most popular guy in school (Beth 334). This was after he successfully dated all girls in school that were not engaged. This was a perfect example of a darting rating system. The dating rating system was previously known as competitive dating. The author points out this form of dating was appropriate than the dating system in the 21st century. In the competitive form of dating men sort popularity and this was a significant vice to earn. The modern dating system is characterized by men who try to woe women by spending a lot of money on expensive dates and entertainment. Additionally, the women have also changed in their perception of the dating system. Women used to believe in men without money and looks. They perceived dating as a social conventional rather than fun. Additionally, Beth women did not have a variety of choice in terms of the selection of women (335). The argument presented by Beth is logical and supported by evidence. It is an obvious assumption competitive dating as one prior to the Second World War was more effective and more social bound than dating in the 21st Century. The thesis presented by Beth is agreeable by all angles. Her arguments can be proven by an analysis on the numerical records of the dating success between the modern dating system and the competitive from of dating. Does dating as competition good or bad Dating is defined as a social convention which respects the young family setting. In an argument by Gurman dating is described as a way in which young couples are trained to respect the family setting and values. These were the original values that described dating (51). Dating in the 21st century respected the family setting relation in dating. This form of dating was described as competitive dating. This form of dating was basically was based on the competition between men. Dating was referred to a task which only qualified men were could succeed. For this reason, a dating partner was valued and respected. Additionally, the dating system only included the sharing interests and practicing the family values. Gurman points out that this traditional dating system was the only form of dating that could be described as appropriate dating (53). Wants such as sex and entertainment luxuries were not respected in this form of competitive dating. Comparing competitive dating to the 21st century dating, there is a huge difference. Dating is now regarded as fun.Young adults now do not value their dating partner as they take for granted the fact that dating has become a worthless vice in the society. Parents on the other do not value dating partners presented to them. For this reason, dating has been disregarded as part of an important practice in the society. In term of the perception of men, they believe in the assumption that money is a basic requirement to dating. In an argument by Gurman the belief in the monetary value in dating has made it difficult for people to notice other qualities of their significant other (62). Additionally, men have an easy task in selecting dating partners thus they never take dating seriously. On the other hand, women have also developed a negative perception of dating. Women have embraced the assumption that money is a mandatory requirement in dating. In an argument by Gurman women also believe in the assumption sex is a mandatory requiring from men when dating (67). This negative perception on dating has ruined the tradition and competitive form of dating. Comparing the modern form to the competitive form of dating, it is an obvious assumption that the later was more effective than the modern dating system. This leads to the conclusion that competitive dating is good. In this form of dating women were valued and treated as married partners. Additionally, men valued dates as successes and did everything to sustain them. In an argument by Gurman the effort that was made by men to acquire dates were respected by every person in the society (79). To provide evidence on the importance of the competitive form of dating, marriage in the modern day does not hold much significance. In the traditional setting, marriage generating from a competitive from of dating was appropriate as marriages were regarded as important social practice. In providing a real example on the importance of competitive dating, I will provide an example from my pre-school teacher. Miss Ann was a family friend. She got married at 16 years to her husband who was then 19. However, since then she has been appreciative of her husband. This is because her husband has always valued her presence since courtship. Since they began courtship, Ann always knew she had a future with her dating partner. This is because her dating partner knew the significance of dating which is to prepare for your future with a compatible partner. Do you think dating in the twenty-first century has more in common with the years before or after World War II? Dating in the 21st century has little in common with dating in the then years. The modern day dating lacks respect for the vice and the social requirements in dating. The major disparity between the two types of dating is the fact that competitive dating only focused on the personal attributes of a person. Gurman argues that the modern form of dating is materialisticand based on lust and fun (110). This is indifferent to the form competitive dating as compatibility of a person was the most important factor when selecting a dating partner. Additionally, the competitive form of dating allowed for people to bond before other factors such as intimacy could be considered. The situation is however different in the modern century. Gurman points out that the modern day centurydating is characterized by lust and reed to intimacy or money (116). The other differences between the ancient and the modern day dating systems ids the fact that, the modern day dating lacks direction and motive. The ancient dating system was the source of marriages even for people at the teenage date. The same cannot be related to the modern day dating where marriage is not a viable option and is not the motive behind the creation of many dating partnerships. This can be proven by an analysis on the number of marriages today. The statistics are considerably lesser than the numbers recorded in the olden days. Additionally, modern day, marriages do no last since there are baseless and lack understanding and integration. However, Gurman points out that the only similarity between the two dating systems is the fact that men are regarded as date seekers (89). Men are bound to find a dating partner. In both systems the man initiates courtship when they approach the lady. Ladies also require to be won over by interested parties. The selection of a partner also relies on the acceptance by the woman. Regardless of the fact that the modern lady has minimized the sensitivity of the requirements by a suitable suitor, the lady is still the final puzzle to the initiation of a date. In my personal experience, I have experienced the 21st century dating system. Girls in the modern century do not value dating as part as a social route towards marriage. It would be more engaging to me if girls in the modern dating system remained more dating inclined as in the olden days where dating was more significant. For instance, my parents had no choice in terms of selecting from a variety of dating partners. For this reason, they valued their partnership to date. Conclusion From the paper, it is an obvious assumption that the competitive form of dating is more social benefiting than the modern form. Additionally, the competitive form of dating enabled men to value their dating partners as dating was a heroic form of social acknowledgement. Work cited Bailey, Beth. From Front porch to Backseat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America. New York: John Hopkins University Press. 1989. Press. Gurman, Anthony. Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy. New York: Guilford Press. 2008. Print. Read More