Why I Decided Not to Get Married Earlier - Essay Example

Why I Decided Not To Get Married Earlier In our culture, marriage is a union between a mature man and woman who have consented to live together and assume responsibilities and duties associated with living together and having a family. Marriage is a noble and should not be taken lightly as some people sometimes do. If handled the right way, marriage can be fulfilling for the spouses and may bring them a lot of joy. The decision to get married should be made soberly and without pressure or influence by either side as it is one that is supposed to be bind the two parties for as long as they live. It seemed like a trend among my peers to get married a few years after completing high school. My best friend and classmate in high school got married a few months after we had cleared high school. I was tempted to take the same path but took a different path eventually. I knew I needed to join college but also knew that I could study online. I met Jenny in junior high in my first year; she perfectly fitted what I termed as the girl of my dreams. We were in the same class but not the same stream. We were both chosen to represent our school in an inter-school competition. I am a generally introverted and so I decided to sit alone at the back of the bus. For most of the trip, I pondered about different things and tried to think of what the future held for me. At some point, I dosed off only to be woken up by this beautiful girl standing besides me. I thought I was dreaming at first as I raised my head for a split moment before and dosing off again. She went ahead and sat next to me and nudged me to wake up. I eventually did and she introduced herself to me. Through out the trip we engage in a positive and constructive chat. Jenny was every man’s or should I say every boy’s dream in school; she was a smart, sharp, eloquent, beautiful, and hardworking. She seemed to know everything about everything. She was outgoing and a favorite of every teacher for her intelligence. Many of the boys in school had tried to befriend her but felt belittled by her smartness and level of intelligence. Although everyone in school thought we were dating, it never got into my head that I was engaged in a serious relationship. Gradually, I realized we had so much in common and my reserved nature gradually became more accommodative of her. We had a normal relationship with normal challenges for a long time until one day she brought up the subject of marriage. Not that we had never discussed the subject before… she only brought up the subject without mincing words. We made a promise to each other to get married some time in the future. We were still in high school and saw no need to rush We were in our final year of senior high school when she asked me the question about when I intended to get married. My intentions were clear and I told her I intended to do it after college. Asked her the same question and her answer was shocking - she wanted us to get married after graduating from high school. I told her to give me some time to think about the issue. I knew that if I got married soon after graduating from high school, my parents would be mad at me because they expected me to go to college. Being the first born in our family, they always expected me to set a good example to my siblings. Besides they had already started making plans for my college. I knew I had to make a wise choice because by some chance, I could lose Jenny, who was very close to my heart. Over time, I realized some changes in our relationship. Jenny started growing cold toward me. She started engaging herself with other thing, avoiding our meeting as much as she could. Something was not adding up for me. The Jenny I had known all the while was smart, responsible, focused, and had great plans for “our” future. I started to question what Jenny was up to or what was wrong with her lately. I knew that Marrying Jenny immediately after high school was not a wise choice I did not have a job, and if I was to get one it was something that could not sustain us. I was living under my father’s roof and knew for sure that I was not ready to take on responsibilities of a husband and father. I appreciated only too well that getting married soon after high school would potentially kill or dampen my dreams for the future. I also knew without any doubt that Jenny’s parents would not allow her to go this direction whatever the reason for her decision. I kept asking myself how she was planning to inform her parents that she wanted to get married soon after high school. I decided to do my investigations on what would have led to her to think about getting married so soon. I engaged a few of her close friends who by now were close acquaintances. They informed me that the Jenny they knew was not the kind to settle down in marriage soon after high school…she had big dreams. They equally wondered why she had all off a sudden decided that she wanted to go the family way. I called Jenny one day and asked her to come back to her senses. I informed her that she had great dreams that she could only achieve with a good background in education. I also brought to her attention that it would be quite difficult to work hard in her studies while trying to fulfill her obligations as a wife. I asked her to consider what life would be living with each other but having no source of income. She eventually understood my point of view even as I encouraged her that it would be more prudent to focus on her education as a priority. Today, jenny is pursuing her studies in college and hopes to graduate with a strong GPA. I am happy that I made the decision not to get married soon after high school. I believe life would have been unbearable for us by now. Read More