The Concrete Experience of Life - Essay Example

Personal Experience 1- The Concrete Experience Everybody faces stressful situations in life. Out of many such situations that I have faced, following is a brief of one of such situations and its consequences. This incident occurred at my work place. It so happened one Monday that a presentation on a project I had been working on was due at 11 o’ clock. Some seniors were to assess it and decide upon the possibilities of my promotion on basis of it. I did not complete it on Saturday for I was counting on Sunday. Some unexpected friends came over on Sunday and remained until evening. I could not therefore work and went to bed very late. Consequently, I woke up late and was late at work. I thought I would complete the presentation in the early hours during work but I did not get the chance. When I reached office, I was already half an hour late and a delegation was present at that moment in the department where I worked. They had come to visit the office and had shown interest in doing some joint ventures with the firm I worked for. To cut a long story short, I did not find the time to complete my presentation though I did manage to sum up in a few slides but the result was very pathetic. The presentation was incomprehensive and ended too abruptly. It also had many errors. Anyway, I presented it somehow. I got no remarks from the board at that time but later on the same day, my project supervisor met me. She was in an angry state and kept threatening me that such a poor presentation could have me fired from my job. I listened silently at first but she would not stop so I tried to explain the reason of such poor performance. She was too angry to listen to me. I also became annoyed and raised my voice in anger. We almost shouted at one another for half an hour after which she left the room and complained to the chairperson regarding my disrespectful behavior towards her. I received instructions to see the Counselor after this incident, who gave me some therapy and training in various skills. I remained under observation of the board for the following two months. I behaved nicely and performed well in those two months. Consequently, my ‘on probation’ status ended and I regained my original position at work. 2- Reflection Reflecting back on the above outlined incident now, I believe there were many underlying factors contributing in it to turn out this way. Firstly, both my supervisor and I lacked empathy. She was insensitive towards my problem. She even refused listening to my explanation and started accusing me of doing so on purpose to downgrade her reputation since she was responsible for training me. All she cared at that moment was her reputation and the embarrassment, subjected on her because of me. She was not in a state of considering my problem or pondering over the possible reasons of my failure. Mean while I, was doing the same. I was not even thinking of what she might have gone through due to my poor performance. I was into self-pity at that moment and all I was thinking was how miserable I am and that it was not my fault. I did not do it on purpose and I just could not help the way things turned out. I was also worried about the consequences. This job was important for me and I faced critical monitoring of my work during that period. I was even more upset by my supervisors threats and became so self absorbed and angry that I over looked the factors that made her behave so. Everything happened so quickly that I did not get a chance to analyze it at that time. All I knew at that time was that I was the only victim. I failed to see w my poor performance had affected my supervisor. Now, when I think of it I reach to the conclusion that she might have had not only a psychological setback for she had worked so hard with me but that presentation had definitely put her future career at stake too. 3- Skills Needed I strongly believe that I needed following three skills to have avoided this incident. Firstly, I needed time management skills. I had a whole week to complete this presentation and I could have distributed it over the weekdays. This way, if I had been working on it a little bit during the week, I would not have ended up with an over burden at the weekend. In addition, I did not even keep 24 hours margin incase all did not go as I planned; which is exactly what happened! I did not anticipate that my friends will show up like this and I would be caught up all through the weekend. I slept through Saturday and wasted a nice long day, counting on the Sunday that was to follow. In addition to time management skills, I also was in lack of anger management skills. I got flared up so quickly and to such an extent, that I lost control over my tone and voice that resulted in disrespectful behavior from my side towards my senior and my supervisor who had worked so hard for the last six months to train me. I did not wait to assess the feasibility of my sentences. I just fired in a rash tone and loud voice whatever came into my mouth spontaneously. I thought this would help me feel better, but on the contrary, it led to dire consequences and I had to face a lot of music due to my lose temper. Self-assertiveness is another area in which I lacked optimum skills. When I think of that Sunday, I recall that I had quite strong will power to work on the presentation but I failed to get rid of my friends. This work was important for my career and I knew it. I was not comfortable; I do not remember enjoying with my friends because I felt mental stress due to the unfinished task. All I had to do was to drag myself away for two or three hours and finish it, but I was not assertive enough to carry out this simple task. 4- Skills Reflected Some time has passed after this incident and I have had some training and practice in the skills I lacked. Following are some similar situations in which these skills came in handy afterwards. One incident worth mentioning is that of an argument with my sister. I could not show up on her daughter’s birthday because I forgot the date and when I remembered, it was too late to reach in time since she lives in another city. When I called her to explain, she started shouting at me, she was definitely upset. My niece is quite attached to me and was let down on the news of my not coming. Instead of flaring up and replying in the same tone as hers, I remained calm with much effort. I counted to ten silently before firing any sentence which resulted in mentally reconsidering what I was about to say. I also managed to apologize even though it was equally her fault since she did not remind me in advance as promised. I believe I behaved fairly well and remained polite. She was a bit embarrassed on her own behavior afterwards and apologized on talking rudely on phone when we met later that week. Regarding time management skills, I have improved greatly in these. Whenever I get a task, I plan it now and distribute it over the available period, keeping some extra time available for any unexpected situation. Few months back I had an exam and in the same dates, a project at work was due. Instead of freaking out and not appearing in the exam as one of my friends did or thinking of quitting work, I managed the two in the available time. I distributed the project nicely over the weekdays and that left me free for the weekend to study for the exam. On the third skill of self-assertiveness, I guess I still need some training. I am able to say no when I want to now, but I still feel uncomfortable in doing so. Last week for example, my colleagues were going on a picnic at the beach together and were insisting that I come. On the other hand, my father was home after a long time and I wanted to spend some time with him. Despite insistence on part of my colleagues along with friendly threats of never forgiving me if I do not show up, I managed to refuse politely. However, I still felt uneasy for some time after doing so. I believe I need some more practice to enhance myself assertiveness skills and to deal with the inner guilty feelings that accompany assertiveness. Read More