Why is it that some children physically and mentally abuse their parents Most especially their mothers - Essay Example

Why is it that some children physically and mentally abuse their parents? Most especially their mothers Research related child and parental abuse often concentrate on parents abusing their children, but limited research highlights on children abusing their parents. However, in society today, it is possible to identify occurrences where children physically and mentally abuse their parents. A number of factors can be identified related to the reasons why children abuse their parents both physically and mentally. Documented research need to not only highlight on the abuse children face from their parents, but also how children physically and mentally abuse their children. Since mothers are considered to form a considerable attachment to their children compared to a fraternal relationship between a father and a child. Because of children relating more to the mothers compared to a fraternal relationship, it is possible that they will exploit the maternal link to their advantage (Reeves 18-20). Further, in such a relationship, children may manipulate their mothers mentally or even abuse them physically. In essence, scholars need to explore the relationship between mothers and their children and whether there exists a possibility of either children abusing their mothers mentally or physically (Ferris 671). In documented studies highlighting on how children abuse their parents physically or mentally and in particular mothers, Hong explains that the behavior is most common among teenage children (447). The abuse inflicted on parents in most instances result in family breakdown, depression and to extent, job loss. The mental or physical abuse perpetrated by such teen often manifest itself in a number of ways that include issuing threats or physical violence that include punching, hair pulling or using other weapons to harm a parent. Further, such children engage in name-calling and disobedience towards the parents that may appear in the form of refusing to participate in family activities or trying to be their own masters in their parent’s home. In terms of abusing their parents mentally, such children often engage in antisocial behaviors such as stealing from home or misuse their parent’s money after stealing their parent’s belongings such as phones or credit cards. On the other hand, other children may engage in blackmailing their parents emotionally and this often occurs when children realize their parent’s weaknesses. However, most parents experiencing such abuse often assume their children’s behavior as being “teenage behavior” that will come to pass (Beck 83). While parents continue to hope that their abusive children will change with time, they continue to expose themselves to both mental and physical harm. As a result, parents abused by children continue to suffer a loss of confidence as normal parents (Beck 81). This is a danger to the child who feels in total control of his or her parents since, such a child may end up as a social misfit in future life. It is possible that children often abuse their parents as a means of displacing their anger or trying to manage their psychological disturbances. There is no clear statistics to indicate the number of teenagers displacing anger towards parents, but such incidents are possible in society today (Freisthler 998). In society today, liberalism has created an environment where, even children are aware of their rights, and this prevents their parents from exercising a full control of their children. Traditionally, parents are supposed to take measures that check or control their children’s unbecoming behavior, however; society today has created laws that makes it almost impossible to control a child from a parent’s own perspective. In society today, there are more laws enacted to protect children, but no any identified law that protect parents from their abusive children (McElmurray 18 ). Further, social services are often not interested in cases involving parents being abused by their children, unless they receive a continuous report on abusive tendencies by a child or teenager. It is only then, that social services may enlist the services of the police to quell the situation or take other appropriate actions. In addition, most schools engage in the exclusion of teenagers identified with psychological disturbances and because of a lack of support, such children often turn to anti-social behaviors thus, worsening their situation. Parent abuse not only affects a particular social group, but also is present in all forms of parental settings such as single or a complete family. In most cases, it is often that mothers are considered as the main caregiver who is mostly affected despite other family members suffering from such a dysfunctional behavior (Heidmann 105). Concerning studies on parent abuse, a major question that often arises is what causes children to develop aggressiveness or abuse their parents physically or mentally. In most cases, parent abuse is understood to emerge as a result of poor parenting, however; children with proper upbringing also engage in parent abuse. On the same note, there is a school of thought that views the society as neglecting children in terms of providing proper care or love. Further, the society continue to subject children to act of violence normally viewed on media such as TV, music or Film where violence is depicted as a “normal” phenomenon(Parkinson 12). Accessibility to alcohol and other drugs also plays a significant role in worsening parent abuse by establishing social ills such as gang culture. Another factor contributing to parent abuse is social deprivation where, growing children lack good role models and lack of care or ignorance from the male parent. Further, divorce is also a key factor in terms of how children grow or development mentally. In many instances, children are often affected by their parent’s separation and often look for an avenue to place the blame. Such blame may be placed on one parent or both of the parents and without proper counseling, children in broken families may engage in behaviors that tend to affect their parents mentally or physically like for example, emotional black mail (Parkinson 15). Parents engaging alcohol and drugs also contribute to their children turning out to be abusive. This is because these children learn from observing the abusiveness from their parents and they also adopt the abusive behaviors. In this context, it is the mothers who normally suffer most by being submissive to the abusive tendencies of the male parent. On the same note, a child may adopt the same behavior and continue abusing the female parent because that is what normally occurs on a daily basis. Parents should note that, children learn mostly from observation. A child living in an abusive home often grow up to be abusive themselves since, that is the life they know (Ramstrom 89). In investigating the reasons why children abuse their parents further questions that can enhance understanding in this sense include: What type of relationship do parents have with their children? Are the parents themselves abusive? What kind of environment causes parent abuse? Can abusive children find help? Where can these children get assistance for behavior change? While more research has been conducted on child abuse, limited literature exist that focuses on parent abuse since it is a phenomenon that the society still consider as being impossible. However, depending on the parent’s relationship with their children, it is possible for instances of parent abuse to occur. A parent can develop either an authoritarian, rational or a submissive relationship with their children. Depending on the form of relationship that parents develop with their children, a child can turn abusive by exploiting a parent’s weakness. For example, a submissive parent is likely to suffer from manipulations by their children since, such children are aware of their parent’s weaknesses. However, a parent who is more authoritative is in a position to assert their control at home and check on their children’s behavior, however; an aggressive attitude may also lead the children to a rebellion that could turn them against their parents and engage in abusive behaviors (Heidmann 106). In conclusion while studies focusing on understanding why children abuse their parents; it is important to also note that, further studies is required on how parent abuse can be stopped. In a similar manner on how society deals with child abuse, it is important to shed more light on parent abuse in order to help researchers and other stakeholders to come up with appropriate measures that can help prevent parent abuse. It is unclear at what age children tend to become abusive towards their parents and rather than providing a general view of the problem, further research is important to pinpoint the ages when children tend to be more aggressive against their parents. Works Cited Beck, Linda .Alcohol: What's a Parent To Believe?/Marijuana: What's a Parent To Believe?/Teens Under the Influence: The Truth About Kids, Alcohol, and Other Drugs; How To Recognize the Problem and What To Do About It. Library Journal 128.15 (2003): p. 83. Print. This journal article talks about the challenges that parents face in trying to shape their children’s behaviors, and how to deal with such problems. Beck, Linda .What's A Parent To Do?: Straight Talk on Drugs and Alcohol/Bring Them. Back Alive: Helping Teens Get Out and Stay Out of Trouble. Library Journal 129.17(2004): pp.80-81. Print Here, Beck continues to highlight on measures that can be taken to help teenagers avoid alcohol and drugs which are considered as a contributing factor to children abusing parents. Ferris, Jeanne .Baby to Parent, Parent to Baby. Library Journal 103.6 (1978): p. 671. Print. Ferris in this article tries to explore ways in which parents can develop an appropriate relationship with their children. Freisthler, Bridget .Where the Individual Meets the Ecological: A Study of Parent Drinking Patterns, Alcohol Outlets, and Child Physical Abuse. Clinical & Experimental Research 37.6 (2013): pp. 993-1000. Print. This journal talks about the dangers of alcohol abuse and its impact on a family in terms of worsening the abusive tendencies for both parents and children. Heidmann, Stephen A. Parent vs. Parent: How You and Your Child Can Survive the Custody. Battle. Library Journal 115.16 (1990): pp.105-106. Print Heidmann examines some of the parental mistakes that may lead children to turn against their parents. Hong, Jun .The Social Ecology of Adolescent-Initiated Parent Abuse: A Review of the Literature. Child Psychiatry & Human Development 43.3 (2012): pp. 431-454. Print. This journal provides a framework to understanding Adolescent-Initiated Parent Abuse. McElmurray, Karen. Visions. Appalachian Heritage 39.2 (2011): pp. 16-22. Print. In this article, McElmurray provides the experiences she went through as a teenager that included being rebellious towards parents. Parkinson, Patrick. Violence, abuse and the limits of shared parental responsibility. Family Matters 92.1 (2013):pp. 7-17. Print. Parkinson highlights on the responsibilities of both parents in preventing violence within their home environment. Ramstrom, Kari .Is This a Phase?: Child Development & Parent Strategies, Birth to 6 Years. Library Journal 132.5 (2007): p. 89. Print. Ramstrom reiterate the importance of this phase in shaping a child’s behavior. Reeves, Richard. The battle for childhood. New Statesman 132. 4660 (2003): pp. 18-20. Reeves highlights on how society continues to erode children who in turn, develop rebellious behaviors towards parents as a means searching for their independence within the home environment. . Read More