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Courtship and Marriage - Essay Example

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Wheel Theory of the Development of Love Name Institution Course Instructor Date Ira Reiss proposed the wheel theory of the development of love in 1960. This theory states that love develops in four stages that are capable of continuing endlessly, and in a cyclical manner…
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Courtship and Marriage
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Download file to see previous pages It can therefore be a tool for couples to understand the factors that play a key role in maintaining a healthy and mature relationship, and consequently be able to navigate through the many pitfalls that most couples fall into. Two films that can attempt to emphasize the importance of this theory are A walk to remember, based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks and Enough, casting Jenipher Lopez as the lead character. The former movie depicts how the four stages of love can be a successful tool for a lifelong romantic relationship since it clearly shows how Landon Carter and Jamie Sullivan, a very unlikely couple, manage to come together despite their perceived differences. On the other hand, the later movie depicts the difficulties that a hurriedly constituted romantic relationship can face, as is evident in the misfortunes of Slim marrying an abusive man. This paper, therefore, seeks to emphasize the importance of taking the time to develop an intimate relationship through mutual attraction and self –disclosure, as these aspects are crucial to creating mutual acceptance and trust. The wheel theory of love attempts to outline the stages in which love develops from the moment two individuals meet, to the moment they make a lifetime commitment to stay with each other. This is explained in four stages aforementioned in paragraph one: the rapport, self-revelation, mutual dependency and personality need fulfilment stages. According to the theory, the rapport stage is the first stage. This is characterized by the attraction that two individuals meeting for the first time may experience. Most often, this attraction may be based on the similarity of social background, interests, or values of the two individuals. This is usually the case because they feel that they have many things to talk about and can agree on almost every aspect of their social lives e.g. two people raised brought up in strictly religious families will most certainly agree on issues such as sexual abstinence until marriage, observing the Sabbath by going to church every week without fail and on certain modest forms of dressing. Similar interests and hobbies are viewed as tools for enjoying recreational activities together thus one will not feel left out of the other’s life. However, this theory also proposes that rapport may be based on differences in people’s backgrounds and interests. This is because they may see each other as an interesting contrast to themselves or may see and desire qualities that the other has. For example, a shy person who rarely talks with others may be attracted to an outgoing and lively individual because they admire those outgoing tendencies that they themselves do not possess. A good rapport builds the foundation of whether the relationship will progress further or fizzle out. If the attraction persists and the rapport is strong, the relationship develops into the second stage of self-revelation of self-disclosure. This is the deliberate and voluntary sharing of information about oneself with another, such as personal dreams, hobbies, interests, upbringing, belief systems and educational background. People have different perspectives of how much self-disclosure is proper, and how to react to each other’s self-revelations. At the initial stages of the relationship, self-disclosure is mostly determined by stereotyped and superficial behaviors such as mental pictures of how the prospective partner should be, past relationship experiences, and ideas about ...Download file to see next pagesRead More
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