Family and childcare issues for single head of households - Essay Example

Family and childcare issues for single head of households Introduction There are many ways that a happy living family of two-parents becomes a single-parent family. This can be done via disease, natural disaster, war. Single-parents are also formed by divorces. A very recent research shows that “over 50% of children in American live in a single-parent family through quiet a large part of their childhood” (Single parents, multiple challenges, 2011). Some studies show that "children brought-up by single-parent families are least healthy on an average scale of children brought-up by two parent families”. Nevertheless, this is only due to “lack of income”. However, this does not prove in any way that children brought up by single-parents cannot succeed. They are as prone to success with proper guidance as these children brought up by two-parent families (Awake, October 8, 2002). Understanding the challenges Single-parent families also result when women become widows or men become widowers. But no one has a more difficult job then women who become widows. They now have the responsibility of not only being the mom of the children but also the father, the bread-earner of the family. This role is never easy to assume, the transition may take a very unbearably long time. To top it up, they also have to now worry about the financial problems faced by the family while still grieving for the loss of their husband. As this is a very difficult job to undertake, so as a result they may not take care and bring up the child the way a child should be. Single moms, when compared with widow moms have it a little easier, as they are still young and have the way open to finish their education more appropriately, and provide for a better future for themselves and their children. But if they fail to do so then they would definitely end up worse than widowed moms, as they would more likely be very poor or in low-paid jobs. If they do not have the support of their friends and family, they have the added responsibility of providing for an appropriate day-care for their little ones. On top of everything, these unmarried moms, would also suffer from a lot of emotional stress and loneliness. These feelings can find a way into the minds of the children and damage their confidence and kill most chances of the children of ever finding a suitable soul mate themselves. On the other hand, single-parent families resulting from divorces also harbor parents who fuel a lot of the fire of hatred in their chests. These feelings can cause low self-worth, rejected feelings, and can cause many parents to draw away from their children which cause separation in families. A divorce also leaves children who have been through such a trauma of seeing their parents grow apart, that they are left with very complexed thinking. With the burden of flitting from parent to parent, they are hardly ever able to gain their confidence back. To be a successful single head of a household, a person needs to know that their children would be going through very tough times, and would have changing emotional needs as they grow up, reach adolescence and are more in contact with the world outside. To be a successful parent, a person also needs to know their child’s abilities, thinking, personality and limitations. A proper relation between a parent and a child is one which has intimacy, association, warm conversations, and a lot of communication. The biggest challenges met by parent, no matter how they came to be is to play the role of both the parents, providing for the family, being the friend and the disciplined parent at the same time. Another challenge faced is that of finance. Most of the single-parent families’ are not well-off enough to be able to sit at home and take well enough care of their parents. Being single parents, they also have to earn double of what they would normally earn in order to provide sufficiently fr the children. If they have toddlers, then they also need to find day-cares which cost the moon and stars. They also have to constantly worry about improving their living standards. They not only have to earn, but they have unpaid jobs at home too, the house chores. These have to be done by the parents alone if the kids are too small. From home to work back to home, leaves very little time left for the parents to spend with children, who also need to be trained and managed. Being a single parent leaves very little space in the person’s life for the children’s school activities. But if the children are not given proper time then they might be left without proper guidance and craving for love which can cause huge voids in the minds of the children. All single parents are faced with the huge task of bearing alone the burden of being the good, patient, understanding, loving, disciplined parent. Along with that the parents also need to find time for them which may possibly be the most important thing as, lack of time for one’s own self can worsen the already drastic condition of a single-parent. Children living in single head household It does not fall only to the parent to worry about a family in a single-parent household. It is a very important duty for the children too. They need to better understand the place that their cooperation holds in the proper working of the family. They need to be patient, respectful, loving, hard working and obedient to their parents . They should understand that they need to be able to communicate with their parents. Children who live in a single-parent household are needed to undertake responsibility faster and sooner than children in a two-parent household. They can also partake in the chores of the house. Being a single Parent Many people view the task of being a single parent as a very draining job. But what they need to know that it can be very rewarding as well if they try to make it so. Even if o0ne is a single parent they are nonetheless, never alone. They would most definitely have friends and other members of the family. If these people can or are willing to help, then single parents should let them. Then again there are single-parent support groups all around the world now. Taking part in these groups paves a way for one to share their experience and let go of some of the load that is built up by parenting alone. The most important thing to keep in mind is how to balance the professional; and the personal life. Here are a few ways in which a single parent can successfully fulfill their role of the head of the family. Ask for or accept help from friends and family who are willing to or can help. Join single-parent support groups. Let your children participate in community groups which would allow them to make friends, learn and have fun. Indulging your children in small tasks around the house which the parents and children can do together so that they might spend some time together. Take out time for yourself. Children need inspiration from both the genders to properly grow up. So the single parents should invite people of the opposite gender from their group of friends or family to spend time with the children. If these people are also great role models than that is an added bonus. One might argue that love is the most important thing when it comes to bringing up a child. But honest is not very far behind. Even if honesty comes at the cost of hurting the children’s feelings, it should still be preferred as there is no substitute to the goodness that comes from truth. If a truth told by the parent seems harsh than it is good as it prepares the children to face the even harsher world outside. A positive attitude always paves way for a better outcome of any efforts. Instead of jumping off in your life as a depressed single parent, one should focus on the positives of being a single parent like independence and autonomy. This would definitely help in uplifting the moods of the entire family. Parents should make very clear as to who is the head of the family. Many people allow the children to participate in the decision making power of the family. This causes family and individual problems, as the children are not grown up enough to undertake so much responsibility and pushing them to such a role too fast can cause them to go in over their heads too fast. Limits should be set for everyone. Single parents are often vulnerable to manipulation from their children. People should be one high alert from manipulation. This can be done by constant reminders to the children that now everyone has to work together to keep the family intact and ongoing. Love is important but sometimes in single-parent families, security and stability is more important. This is especially true for children who have suffered their parents divorce. So the children need to be reminded constantly that they are loved and cherished. They also need the parent to always be there for them in every hour of need even if they have gone and got themselves ticketed for driving too fast. For a healthy family, the head of the family needs to be very healthy and in good shape too. This keeps the children fresh and confident that their care-taker is not someone physically weak and assaulted by the harsh world outside. Single parents should concentrate on their diet, sleep, stress management, visualization, anger management and exercise very much. Being positive also requires that single parents concentrate on successes and not failures. They need to tell their children the importance of working as a family. Prioritizing and deciding accordingly can also help shape the focus of a family. Effective communication and input from everyone in the family can help get rid of problems faced by the family Parenting, let alone single parenting is the world’s hardest unpaid jobs. Being a good, caring, loving and sympathetic mother and a proving father at the same time can take a toll on ones health and mind. The two difficult aspects: taking care of children, their activities, housework, and then taking care of the finances of the household. This causes most parents of be stressed out more than usual. On top of all this the single parents are then left to make most decisions on their own. They are also left at the risk of thinking if they have made the right decision or not. Ways by which single parents are financially helped by the government Children, no matter which family they belong to, are a very essential part of any nation’s future. If they have a single parent as the head of the household, they may not get most of the financial needs fulfilled that children belonging to a two-parent family get. so in order to properly provide for them, most of the governments undertake the responsibility of providing for them. These are a few ways, how they do so: l. governments have specially headed departments which stand at the forefront to help single parents with a tight finance. This assistance is given without any racial or religious discrimination. 2. Parents who are not very well educated and cannot understand policies well, the government translates policies to languages that are understandable by them so that they may know their rights quite well. 3. Factories and small businesses which do not require very educated labor is set up by the government so that the single mothers may be able to provide for their family respectably. 4. Children brought up by single parents are provided free education, so that lack of finances is not a reasons for them to not have a bright future. and are also equipped with facing the challenges of the harsh world. 5. Government provides means for education of single mothers so that they may have a chance at a better standard of living. 6. Government also forms special daycare centers for the children of single parents which operate on lesser costs. Conclusion The term family means a very simple thing for most people. But in the core of it, it is actually a very subtle term, covering concepts that are related by marriage, roles played by different genders, family life, realtio0ns, children, sexuality, and households. In short it covers most of the aspects of any human life. Another important aspect of a family is how joined together it is and incorporated into the society it should be. Many people see becoming parents and parenting as b0oth very rewarding and the ultimate goal of life. But they also assume they would never be alone in doing so. If by some misfortune they are left to undertake this role alone, then they also see that they are faced by huge financial problems. Now that one is a parent, the best ways to combat the financial problems is by being strong, and dividing your time between job, family and oneself. All one needs to do is sometimes ask for help, sometime depend on one’s children to understand, sometimes play the mother and the father and sometimes just being plain brave in the face of all challenges and learn to adapt ton them Bibliography Single parents, multiple challenges: Jehovah (2011): http://www.watchtower.org/e/20021008/article_02.htm Being a Single Parent: Family Doctorhttp://familydoctor.org/on (2005-2011); line/famdocen/home/articles/844.html Challenges Single Parents Have to Go Through: (July 1, 2009); http://www.bizymoms.com/parenting/single-parents-challenges.html Help For Single Parents Raising Children: Concerning Kids (29 December 2008); http://www.concerningkids.com/help-for-single-parents-raising-children.php How to be the Best Single Parent You Can Divorce and Single Parenting: Shellee Moore(2011); http://www.divorcewizards.com/Divorce-and-Single-Parenting.html Family Diversity: Teresa J. Rothausen-Vange, University of St. Thomas- College of Business: (4/2005); http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/encyclopedia_entry.php?id=1138 What Are Some Financial Problems Single Parents Face: Arnold Anderson (2011); http://www.ehow.com/list_6516953_financial-problems-single-parents-face_.html Challenges Faced by Single Mothers: Supporting Policies (2011); http://www.ehomemakers.net/en/article.php?id=1076 Read More