Conflict and/or violence in premarital relationships - Research Paper Example

? Conflict and Violence in Premarital relationships Violence and conflict in premarital or dating relationships is very prevalent among high school and college students. This is because most students in high schools and colleges engage in dating relationships, some of which are intimate and others are not. There are various causes of dating violence ranging from psychological or behavioral causes to social causes. This paper will seek to examine various aspects of violence in premarital or dating relationships. It will provide some statistics concerning the prevalence of dating violence, the various forms of dating violence, and the major causes of the violence and prevention interventions. Introduction In order to establish meaningful relationships with members of the opposite sex, dating is very important. In addition, dating allows the individuals to know each other better leading to marital relationships later. However, this socialization could lead to both positive and negative experiences. Moreover, it is evident that dating and courtship relationships hold not only competitive potential but also an exploitative one (White & Koss, 1991). However, there are many ways of presenting unhealthy and violent relationships. Most of the research done earlier on dating violence has concentrated mostly on the physical violence while there are more aspects to examine. Consequently, dating violence is a constellation of several abusive and violent behaviors, including physical and sexual assault threats and harassment, homicide, psychological abuse and kidnapping ". It is therefore evident that dating violence may be in the form of sexual abuse, physical abuse, or psychological abuse (Lamm, 2010). It is evident that there is a relationship between those who are violent during adolescence and violence during adulthood. On the other hand, teen dating violence varies from verbal and emotional abuse to murder and rape. Most adolescents are ignorant on signs of physical and sexual abuse because they consider jealous and controlling behaviors as signs of love. Since most adolescents want to retain their autonomy and they also rely on their peers they rarely report the violence to a parent or adult but only tell their friends with minimal chances of adults knowing (O’Keefe, 2005). There is a remarkable high level of dating violence among high school students. According to research, about 9% to 57% of adolescents have had at least one experience with physical violence in a dating relationship. In addition, it is evident that the physical violence during courtship continued into the early years of marriage for about half of newly married couples. Moreover, reports have shown that in most cases, relationship violence starts in mid-adolescence with high chances of going on into marital relationships (Cano et al, 1998). There is an alarming level of dating violence in the universities. In a recent research, 87-88% of college females and 81% of college males revealed to either have received or inflicted upon verbal violence from a partner at least once. The verbal violence included sulking, yelling, insulting and arguing heatedly the partner. On the other hand, about 35% of college females and 37% of college males revealed to have inflicted upon or received physical violence from a partner at least once. The physical violence incorporated shoving, hitting, grabbing, and pushing. In addition, according to the results there is an insignificant difference between rates of violence from men against women and violence from women against men. However, additional research indicates that violence among dating partners goes on into marriage (Jeffrey, 1996). Forms of premarital violence Actions like sarcasm and making derogatory comments may be clear evidence of psychological abuse. Moreover, psychological abuse may also include insults and name-calling, emotional withholding, yelling, ignoring others, cursing, and treating others like inferior persons. In addition, since verbal attacks can be easily committed and concealed on school grounds making psychological abuse a common form of dating violence compared to the more physical acts of violence. Many verbal or emotional abuses happen because most adolescent couples interact more frequently since they are together with one another throughout the school day. Consequently, physical violence can entail punching, kicking, choking, pinching and slapping. According to a national study carried out by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the prevalence rates of dating violence varied from 6.9% to 18.1 % according to national surveys. In addition, according to the survey 9.8% of female high school students and about 9.1 % of male high school students said they had been physically hurt, hit, or slapped deliberately by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the past year (Lamm, 2010). Regarding the form of violence, there are disparities in the percentage of verbal and physical aggression. Studies indicate that less than 40 percent of dating partners engage in physical violence while more than eighty percent engage in verbal aggression. Those that engage in physical aggression often instigate various actions like pushing, shoving, clutching and threats to strike. In addition, the noteworthy connections and integration of verbal and physical violence indicates the mutual nature of heterosexual aggression. Other forms of dating violence include Sexual aggravation, unwanted sexual activity and sexual compulsion. These common forms of abuse particularly take place in teenager relationships. The various forms of sexual abuse include spying while clothing or changing, oral strain, spontaneous acts of kissing, hugging, and sex, sexually unequivocal jokes or statements and using deception to achieve sexual activity. A study on Youth Behavior Surveillance indicated that 7.7% of students, countrywide, had experienced compulsory sexual intercourse (Lamm, 2010). Causes of premarital violence One of the major causes of dating or premarital violence is peer pressure or influence. Most studies indicate that peers influence the behavior on each other in most of their interactions. This mostly happens in high schools and colleges, where the peers want to feel belonging to certain groups characterized by certain codes of conduct. Consequently, research has established that peer feelings and actions are decisive influences on teenagers’ perceptions and behaviors concerning premarital violence. In most cases, teenagers will spend more time together even when they are coupling. Consequently, peer friends become very important in the success or failure of their friend’s relationships. This is because they are always and in most of the times present at the scene, where their friends chat and interact with their partners. For instance, certain studies indicate that approximately half of adolescent premarital violence takes place when a third party is present. For diverse reasons, a boyfriend or girlfriend might behave very differently when in the company of peers, a conduct deemed by teenagers as feature of an unhealthy relationship (Mulford & Giordano, 2008). The belief that it is acceptable to use violence against a dating partner remains one of the most regular and strongest factors linked with inflicting violence. Moreover, it is obvious that the non-violent males were more likely to anticipate violence to end the relationship compared to the males who began violence against their partner and would receive positive outcomes. In addition, the males who grew up in violent homes are more likely to accept the dating violence norms (O’Keefe, 2005). In addition, child abuse makes a child to conceptualize the world in unusual ways that would later bring about the cycle of violence. According to studies on college students, those who experienced violence as children were more likely to experience or perpetrate violence in adulthood. Another survey reported that one third of the 595 college men interviewed were victims of physical abuse before their sixteenth birthday and 37% of them confessed to have physically abused a child or even an adult. Apart from the abuse history, the perpetrators distinguished from the non-perpetrators by the high masculine gender role stress (Carr & Vandeusen, 2002). Moreover, maltreatment can affect certain developmental processes, which affects an individual’s ability to form healthy relationships. For instance, it is reported that youth with histories of maltreatment have more than a 3.5 times risk of being involved in adult domestic violence. Consequently, the maltreated youth are at risk of both dating violence and adulthood violence. On the other hand, another study reported that the maltreated youth also had the various features including lower problem-solving skills, self-efficacy, hostility, and more violence with peers and dating partners compared with the non-maltreated ones (Lamm, 2010). The background reason for dating violence is observing violence in one’s family of origin. There is a rise in parents modeling violence at home in American homes, making children to copy the violent methods of their parents. For instance, 24% of 133 women college students witnessed physical abuse between their parents while 32% of 326 college students observed physical violence between adults in their families. Consequently, there is a relationship between inter-parental violence and parent-child aggression. Research has shown that a male child that witnessed domestic violence in one’s family of origin was likely to be a perpetrator of marital aggression in second-generation men compared with their female counterparts (Carr & Vandeusen, 2002). If a child has either seen or been a victim of a parent or other close family member who has repeatedly engaged in violent behavior in reaction to anger, the child believes that this behavior is a way of anger management. As a result, even later in life violence becomes one the coping skills that the child has internalized over the years. Consequently, if in adulthood this child lacks any other skill to resolve conflicts, he draws upon this way of violence as a way of coping with his anger (Jeffrey, 1996). According to studies trying to prove that there is a relationship between family of origin violence and inflicting dating violence, some studies claim that teens, especially males, who observe inter-parental violence are at higher risk for inflicting dating violence to their partners (O’Keefe, 2005). Another major cause of dating violence is insecure attachment. Conceptualized attachment abuse entails recurring efforts of uncertainly attached adults to recover attachment or security. Attachment offers adults with a way of verifying their status as a lovable individual, experiencing happiness and satisfaction, approval of individual beliefs and feelings and setting up a secure environment for self-development and improvement. The adult seeks out for pain relief from the attachment partner after feeling deprived of any of these areas. In addition, the individual expects that he would receive this relief through love and understanding from the customer. Consequently, when this lacks, the person reacts in anger to ease this apparent pain by forcing self-power and manipulation. As a result, he uses controlling and scheming behavior to try to alleviate the regular feelings of scantiness concerning himself and his association to his partner (Jeffrey, 1996). Another leading cause of dating violence and conflicts is the use of alcohol and other drugs. For both males and females, indulgence in alcohol and other drugs strongly links with instigating violence as well as receiving violence. This means that use of alcohol, drugs may push an individual to fight or develop aggression towards his partner, and at the same time, it can cause an individual to receive aggression due to some actions. Moreover, various studies have cited a connection between drug abuse and females experiencing sexual and physical aggression from dating partners. Other studies assert that females, who indulge in drugs during a date, are highly susceptible to physical violence, often instigated by their partners. Moreover, such females are susceptible to sexual harassment, which is also a form of dating violence. These females also engage in unhealthy sexual behaviors, pregnancy and unconstructive weight control (O’Keefe, 2005). Lack of experience in talking and associating to a partner might generate poor strategies in coping with the challenges of the relationship. In this regard, an individual does not know how to react when angry or when faced with a challenging situation. He or she therefore turns violent either verbal or physical, thinking that it would help to resolve the problem. For instance, in the case of adolescents who are unable to express themselves, they might turn to violent behaviors to express love, jealousy of disappointment. A recent survey in which boys and girls took part in focus groups on dating established that physical violence sometimes arose due to an inability to express feelings and a lack of productive means to handle disappointment. Having unrealistic beliefs, concerning dating relationships can cause disappointment and unsuccessful coping means when disagreement appears. In addition, sometimes dating youths engage in sexual activities when they are still very immature and lacks capacity for intimacy for instance capability to communicate effectively. In such cases, it is very possible to expect the development of physical and verbal aggression as well as conflicts (Mulford & Giordano, 2008). Anger is another overriding cause of many violent behaviors in dating relationships. Anger functions in separate ways in all persons, whether aggressive or not. First, anger frequently serves as a socially secure expression of hurting sentiments such as nervousness, harm, and remorse. In this case, many individuals might turn to anger or become angry when they are in pain, especially pain caused by another person. Secondly, some people use anger as a means of blocking the feeling of physical pain. Thirdly, many people who feel that they have a blocked goal in life, they will turn angry as a means of rousing reaction to the experience of threat. Ultimately, anger serves as one of several coping mechanisms to ease traumatic stimulation. Similarly, violent partners in dating relationships may become angry due to several reasons. They might feel that their partners have failed to accomplish their needs or they have blocked their goals in life. In addition, such violent individuals might have complexity in handling arousal such as nervousness resulting from stress. Moreover, when this level of stimulation becomes very great, they tend to release the pressure through some coping actions like other people (Jeffrey, 1996). Lack of various sociological skills might also augment the possibility of turning to aggression to solve problems. These sociological skills include problem solving capabilities, anger management and communication of feelings. These sociological skills are very important to a dating relationship since the two people dating might have very distinct backgrounds. When there is a deficit of these skills, most dating couples turn violent as a means of resolving problems. In addition, teenagers who demonstrate a general inclination towards violence or who use physical violence on other peers are also more prone to use violence with a dating partner. It is also evident that if an individual experienced violence with a former dating partner, he or she might still experience violence with the current partner. This clearly shows that aggression in dating relationships might endure over time and across relationships (O’Keefe, 2005). Preventing premarital violence Due to the probable physical, psychological, and social effects of dating aggression, there should be mush attention and efforts directed at preventing this form of violence. This calls for effective and winning strategies, which would help in curbing this issue. In addition, there needs to be the development of clear policies and guidelines regarding premarital violence. It is evident that teenagers and youths are the most vulnerable people to initiating and receiving dating violence. Therefore, mental health officers should develop strategies that would help to correct and prevent these maladaptive patterns of behavior. The development of effective prevention strategies and programs should serve two purposes: preventing the immediate perpetration of violence and avoiding a probable future route toward aggression and violent relationships (Cornelius & Resseguie, 2007). Prevention and intervention programs should differentiate between brutal forms of aggression that generate injury and fear and other more general mistreatments. In addition, intervention programs must respond with suitable safety planning, mental health services, and criminal or youthful justice participation (Mulford & Giordano, 2008). Cornelius & Resseguie (2007) asserts that there are generally to major forms of violence prevention strategies, which include primary and secondary prevention. Primary prevention programs seek to avoid aggression in premarital relationship before it happens. In order to accomplish this kind of prevention, most advocates aim at high school aged teenagers. They target this group because it may offer a vital window of opportunity to shape suitable attitudes and actions, since adolescents are likely just founding dating relationships. On the other hand, secondary prevention strategies aim at handling an already happening violence in dating relationships. The effectiveness of these strategies occurs when the perpetrator ceases to inflict violence or when the victim detaches from the violent relationship. Both primary and secondary prevention programs target high school and college students, normally through the school programs. However, since dating violence also occurs outside the school and colleges, other prevention programs target relationships outside the academic setting. Practitioners and policy formulators have developed several strategies for primary prevention and early intervention programs to limit violence in premarital relationships. Normally, these strategies aim at background and situational actions linked with violence in premarital relationships (Cano et al, 1998). With regard to physical and verbal violence in teen dating relationships, practitioners have developed several strategies that show positive results. These strategies include changing standards, enhancing communication skills and increasing awareness concerning dating violence. The results of such interventions are mostly encouraging and reveal likelihood to influence public health. This is because many of these prevention strategies are short-term interventions. In particular, creating awareness to teenagers is one such intervention proving to be very effective in promoting positive behavior in dating relationships (O’Keefe, 2005). Despite the development of various prevention programs to curb dating violence, it is important to seek first to understand and comprehend the various factors affecting dating relationships. In the case of teenagers dating relationships, it is important to comprehend the complex factors that influence behavior in the adolescents. It is also important to understand the social experiences in teen dating relationships. This is because in teenage, there is a lot of discovery, change, and social development. Therefore, intervention programs should occur within such structures. In addition, when planning intervention programs to address teen dating violence, it is vital to integrate other influential social forces within the teenager culture, particularly the peer culture and related pressure. In harmony with that consideration, contemporary researchers have promoted intervention strategies designed to generate healthy relationships and make mature choices within the social framework of teenage (Cornelius & Resseguie, 2007). Other intervention strategies for curbing dating violence involve teaching students other means of keeping their relationships. These may include teaching them open communication concerning individual goals and wishes for the relationship. Teaching self-confident communication approaches might help in lessening the use of indirect approaches for instance making the partner account for his or her time. This strategy is very useful particularly for the females since there is a direct link of jealousy in dating relationships with female partners. This generally means that most female partners in dating relationships dominate in jealousy tactics, which often instigate violence from the male partners (Cano et al, 1998). O’Keefe (2005) feels that there is need to develop dating violence intervention programs into systems and institutions dealing with youth. These systems and institutions include leisure programs, schools, the foster care system and youthful justice programs. In schools, there is need for the implementation of education and training programs for both students and the whole school community including managers, teaching staff and parents. Future researchers should aim at establishing the resultant change of behavior occurring due to the implementation of intervention programs. This is a challenge for researchers since it is impossible to evaluate the actual effects of the intervention programs without data on behavior change. Therefore, future researchers should collect adequate data concerning the change of behavior after imposing prevention programs. This is very significant since it would help to establish whether the intervention programs helps to reduce the occurring violence or aids in avoiding future violence (Cornelius & Resseguie, 2007). In addition, future researchers should examine violent adolescent romantic relationships, which might be significant in understanding the likelihood succession from adolescent dating violence to adult partner aggression (Mulford & Giordano, 2008). Conclusion It is evident that violence in dating or premarital relationships is very prevalent and causes a lot of psychological and physical torture. Although many studies have concentrated on parental violence, it is emerging that dating violence is a threat to healthy relationships and orientation to marriage. The causes of dating violence are diverse and may include drug abuse and peer pressure, lack of social skills, attitude and beliefs towards violence and anger. Other causes include witnessing parental and community violence, insecure attachment and child abuse. Due to this, there needs to be the development of multi-faceted strategies to prevent this kind of violence. Teaching programs in schools are particularly very effective in primary prevention of dating violence. References Cano, A. et al. (1998). Dating Violence in Two High School Samples: Discriminating Variables. The Journal of Primary Prevention, 18, 4, 431-446. Carr J.L. & Vandeusen, K.M. (2002). The Relationship between Family of Origin Violence and Dating Violence in College Men. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 17, 6, 630-646. Cornelius, T.L. & Resseguie, N. (2007). Primary and secondary prevention programs for dating violence: A review of the literature. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 12, 364-375 Jeffrey, A.C. (1996). Predictors of Male Violence in Dating Relationships. 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