What Virtues Should Lovers Display towards Each Other - Essay Example

What Virtues Should Lovers Display Towards Each Other? Name Course Instructor Date Virtue ethics lays emphasizes on the role of a character and virtues that a character embodies in order to evaluate or determine ethical behavior. There are three major approaches to normative ethics which are in many cases contrasted to deontology which emphasizes on rules and duty. The other is consequentialism which derives wrongness and rightness from the result of an act itself. On discussing the virtues a lover should display towards another lover. It is important to understand the role each lover should play in a relationship in correspondence to virtue ethics approach1. Virtue ethics relates to the Aristotelian character and virtue which is about being in a state of being and having appropriate inner state. Relating this to the virtues that should be upheld by lovers, it is essential to note that a lover should possess the virtue of kindness which entails right sort of inner state and emotions with respect towards one another. Character is all about doing2. The Aristotelian theory applies because it is a theory of action. The theory indicates that possessing the virtuous inner disposition entails being moved to action in accordance with the feelings. It further indicates that realizing kindness is an appropriate response to an occurrence and feeling aptly kindly disposed leading to corresponding attempt to show an act of kindness3. Lovers should encourage the positive natural tendencies and discourage the negative. There are numerous factors affecting a characters development i.e. peer group, degree of encouragement, role models, lovers, exposure to various situations and attention one receives. Our natural tendencies are the low materials that human are born with which are developed and shaped through an extensive and gradual process of habituation and education4. Lovers should portray the ethics of care. This version of virtue ethics has been developed by Annette Baier5. This approach is motivated by the thought that men are masculine even in their thinking i.e. thinking of autonomy and justice while women use feminine term to their thinking i.e. caring. Moral philosophy in relation to lovers’ virtues towards one another emphasizes on practical issues. Several philosophers claim the romantic love is intertwined with morality. In reference to Halwani (2003), the event of falling in love does not require of justification, however it requires explanation because of reasons known to lovers for falling in love6. Care The level of intimacy with love is well defined in some virtues as compared to others. In a case of justice or courtesy, for example, the level of intimacy with love is not apparent7. However, with care unlike in other virtue, has unmistakable identification of love. When people love and care for one another, they minister each other needs just as a woman cares for her baby. The connection between love and the virtue of care, the common expression of tender loving care indicates deep intimacy the heart of love and the virtue of care. As such care is a virtue that is mainly synonymous with love. People can be explained as having most basically, one who exist by love and called into existence to love8. Halwani (2003) further indicates that the inability to care shows human being as inhuman. To care is to express humanness and to reveal love9. If a lover lacks care, this places a barrier between oneself, own humanity and the partner. This can be expressed as to remain unloving. Care is a virtue which is no innate but calls for appropriate nurturing and habituation10. Friendship Friendship is a dominant section of ethics that has been considered in the role of human relationships and it is a vital ingredient in the good love life11. Friendship crops up when two people discover their common interests in an interest which that can jointly pursue. Lovers’ reciprocal participation in such activity results to greater pleasure to and for other. Love emanates from friendship that is grounded on utility and it comes into being when two people have mutual benefits by engag9ing in coordinated activity. As such, the initial focus is usually based on what each person can gain rather than on any entertainment that comes as a result of their bond12. Kindness Kindness is another virtue that lovers should cultivate in their love. This virtue encompasses various habits and acts that are most easily described as unselfish manners and cordial courtesy. Such etiquette among lovers not only demonstrates the level of bond but also the level of respect towards one another. In keeping with Halwani (2003), kindness may be as simple as saying “excuse me”, “thank you”, I’m sorry.” Kindness can also be expressed through offering assistance, gladly responding with a smile and evening turning off a phone in favor of13. Kindness can also be characterized by becoming generous with one own money, time, resources and willingness to offer assistance14. According to Sophocles “kindness gives birth to benevolence”. Mark Twain an American philosopher also notes that kindness is the only language the blind can see and that the deaf can hear. In the contemporary society, the world seem to oppose the conception that kindness as a virtue offers people a sanctuary for peace , hope, comfort and peace15. When lovers engage in various forms of kindness, they are bound to feel gratitude for one another. This gratitude mirrors a chivalrous and respectful approach to improve on their intimate relationship. A lover’s gratitude reflects his/her attempt at relating modestly and with a lot of humility. One of the best ways to be kind is through considering the qualities of character that can make a person a lover and a friend to the other person16. In the Nicomachean ethics Aristotle applied careful, patient and descriptive approach in his analysis on moral philosophy. Aristotle discusses the conditions, under which such moral accountability can be attributed into every person, the nature of love and the virtues and vices that are involved in moral evaluation, the way to realize happiness in love17. Arguably, the core issue for Aristotle is the subject of personality or character what it takes for an individual lover in lead a healthy relationship with the partner. In keeping with Fitterer (2008), every activity has a final cause to which it is aimed at, Aristotle indicates that while there can not be unbounded revert of merely extrinsic love there is the utmost goal that every lover ultimately aims. Happiness is the utmost goal for every human18. Voluntary Action Lovers should act voluntary towards a positive goal of strengthening the bond of their relationship. Aristotle has given a careful consideration to aspects of human nature that is involved in accepting moral responsibility. In reference to Boudart (1996), moral evaluation of an action always presupposes the provenance of responsibility to an individual. However, in some circumstances, such attributions can not be considered to be appropriate. A lover must have some responsible action undertaken voluntary (Stephen, 2005). Deliberate Choice Even though virtues are defined as dispositions or habits of acting in a particular manner, Aristotle argues that such habits are acquired through engaging in proper conduct on some particular occasions. Fitterer (2008) notes that doing so requires thinking of what a person is doing in a particular manner. There is an idiosyncratic manner of thinking that provides adequately for morality19. Acting rightly, involves people coordinating their desire with right thoughts about correct goals or result. It is therefore good that lovers deliberate on their choice on whatever move they make to avoid making wrong moves. Doing what is right is not at all times simple, although there are people who consciously develop inhuman habits. The greatest enemy of moral conduct and thus love is lack of good moral values even on occasions where one’s deliberation results in clear knowledge of right. Lovers who are incontinent suffer from weakness of will. This prevents them from carrying out actions that conform to their reasoning. Fitterer (2008) indicates that this may seem to be failure of intelligence20. Conclusion There are several other distinguishing characters of virtue ethics that lovers should express towards one another i.e. stable, reliable and fixed dispositions. If a lover possesses a character trait of kindness, then he or she should be expected to act kindly at any given situation towards the partner and over a long duration of time even when id is very hard to express kindness. A person with certain character can be relied upon to have consistent behavior over a long time21. In keeping with Boudart (1996), people are born with numerous natural tendencies, some of which are positive like friendly and placid nature while others are negative like jealous and irascible nature. References Boudart, J. (1996). Treasury of virtues: courage, love, honesty. Lincolnwood, Ill: Publications International. Fitterer, R. (2008). Love and objectivity in virtue ethics: Aristotle, Lonergan, and Nussbaum on emotions and moral insight. Toronto: University of Toronto Press. Halwani, R. (2003). Virtuous liaisons: care, love, sex, and virtue ethics. Chicago, Ill: Open Court. Ollila, (1993). The ethics of rendezvous: morality, virtues and love. Helsinki: Philosophical Society of Finland Distributed by Akateeminen Kirjakauppa. Stephen M. (2005). Virtue ethics, old and new. Ithaca, N.Y: Cornell University Press Read More