Knapps Relationship Model - Essay Example

Knapp’s relationship model Knapp’s relationship model explains how both personal and business relationships grow, last and how they terminate as well. This model is divided into ten different stages that come under two broad categories namely: Knapp’s relationship escalation model Knapp’s relationship termination model This model helps to explain how relationships grow and deteriorates. Different levels of speed and time between each stage may exist for each relationship (Perlman & Vangelisti 464). Similarly, some stages of the model may be skipped for certain relationships. The stages under each category are discussed as follows: Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model This involves coming together of two or more parties and involves the following stages. 1. Initiation This is a very short stage and it is all about making an impression to either party involved. The parties are involved in slight communications between each other thus personal judgments would not be accurate. Each person will be concerned with making positive impressions to one another. The physical appearance plays a big role in making favorable impression during the first meeting. Such physical appearances may include the way of dressing, the perfume they use as well as the overall appearance. There are skills involved in the way one presents him or herself. In business relationships, the parties ask one another about professions, demographics as well as other shared interests (Perlman & Vangelisti 567). In my situation, I was a bank clerk and saw an attractive girl within my job place who was one of our customers. I just saw her within the bank’s premises and planned to approach her the next time she visited the bank. She came and I decided to come out of the counter to meet her, I greeted her and asked her name and thanked her for being our esteemed client. We planned to meet briefly at a certain place three days later. That marked the initiation stage of our relationship. 2. Experimentation This stage is all about investigating and exploring further to know each other better. This stage is also called the probing stage and is characterized by each person analyzing the other for more information. This analysis is to determine whether there exists a common interest as a way of assessing whether there is a possibility of a starting a serious relationship. In most cases, relationships terminate here after the parties find out that no common interest exists. In a business relationship, partners explore one another of any information that will add value to the partnership and assess whether the relationship will succeed (Perlman & Vangelisti 467). In my case, I met with the lady as we had planned during our brief meeting. We went to a cafeteria and shared a cup of tea as we discussed our likes and dislikes, interests among other factors. For instance, I remember asking the lady about her favorite food and she asked me of my favorite car. We chatted and flirted for about one hour and I had to see her off. There was nothing left. We hugged and said good night to each other as well as exchanging our cell phone numbers. 3. Intensifying In this stage, the relationship intensifies, grows stronger and becomes less formal. Parties involved will start revealing their personal and confidential information to one another and will examine the impression on the other person. They will start to express feelings for each other through texts, phone calls, one on one contact, use of verbal expressions like, ‘I love you’ as well as calling each other pet names like ‘babe’. Each party starts making secret tests to certain whether they have the right catch. These tests include: Endurance tests-a partner is an uncomfortable situation to determine ones commitment to the relationship. Separation tests-to test whether feelings of affection can still continue even when the two parties are not physically together Triangle tests-one partner sees if he or she can bring forth jealousy from the other partner when they express interest to another person (Perlman & Vangelisti 524). I asked the girl for a major date where we met for more than five hours and talked more about our lives, experiences about our family background. For instance, she asked me on how I secured my job within the bank as well as other issues. We started chatting overnight, calling each other pet name like babe, sweetheart among others. At one time, I decided to test her and went to visit her accompanied by a lady cousin and noticed some kind of jealousy which we agreed later. 4. Integration In this stage, the parties involved will start making their relationship as much closer than before. People become more intimate, they start sharing belongings, friends and even living spaces are shared. Extensive commitments by each partner are solidified through sex, deeper self-disclosure and revealing more confidential facts about past experiences and even discussions for future plans. Partners start expressing emotional moments through songs, poems, and activities. In my situation, we started sending each other birthday cards, love cards as well as spending nights together. I introduced her to my close friends and even gave a clue to my parents. We became close to her parents and friends and finally proposed to her. 5. Bonding This is the final stage of the first half of the Relational model and involves putting the relationship on public display and they start referring the relationship as exclusive. The parties may commit their relationship legally through marriage or any other type of public contract meaning that it can only be broken through formal agreement or death (Perlman & Vangelisti 237) In my situation, we dated for two years and finally decided to legalize our relationship where we called upon our parents as our witness. We married and started living together. Klopp’s Relationship Termination Model This is the second part of a relationship and involves misunderstandings and conflicts meaning that the relationship may fail to persist. The stages are as follows: 1. Differentiating This stage is characterized by the parties thinking individually instead of deliberating with the partner in cases of conflicts or misunderstandings. The relationship starts to fade away and the bond will finally be broken. The similarities and interests begin to disintegrate (Perlman & Vangelisti 867). They become individualistic and almost personalize everything to the extent of calling their joint daughter like ‘your daughter’. In my case, I decided to change my job to look for greener pastures but the girl rejected the whole idea. This created a lot of pressure in our relationship. We started disagreeing on many occasions. We stopped calling each other pet names and went back to calling personal names. 2. Circumscribing This stage is characterized by limited conversations between each other and boundaries are set in terms of communication. It marks the beginning of the end. They fear communicating and sharing on a certain issue for fear of gearing up an argument. They start doing their own personal activities (Perlman & Vangelisti 134). One partner may spend time in office whereas the other may be at home watching movies. In my relationship, the girl started talking more of other general topics like climate, food as a way of disguising that she forgot the conversations on quitting the job. I even decided to remain silent having in mind that at one time I will quit the job irrespective of her stand 3. Stagnation At this stage, the relationship declines even more. The communication becomes more and more limited. The only factors which may cause them not to break up are maybe children or other unavoidable circumstances. At this stage, third person speaking becomes the order of the day. Parties prefer spending time with friends and relatives. In my relationship, the girl could remain silent for long even though we just lived together. A serious communication gap developed in our relationship. 4. Avoidance At this stage, the parties start avoiding one another intentionally, avoiding any contacts and will be detached from each other. They detach themselves from any form of communication that may cause an argument. There are physical, mental and emotional separations. This often leads to the final stage which involves the termination of everything. They even go to an extent of sleeping in separate beds avoiding one another completely. In my situation, I decided to quit my job to look for greener pastures. 5. Terminating This is the final stage of the coming apart category. The relationship is terminated completely. Partners take different paths and decide to move on with their personal lives. The parties are no longer receiving any mutually satisfying outcome from being together in a relationship. Neither of them is happy about the relationship meaning that this step is unavoidable. In my case, we are still in the pre-termination stage trying to settle things out and avoid this stage if possible (Perlman & Vangelisti 453). How to prevent dissolution There are several ways of preventing a relationship from reaching the final stage of termination. Assess the partner’s behavior to see if they have any intention of breaking up and try communicating to them to know their stand. Similarly, it is crucial to assess the general relationship to determine its worthiness before it is formalized. Communication is a very important tool for a successful relationship. In case of conflicts or misunderstandings, sit down with the partner and talk out the issue. Explain your feelings to your partner and avoid hurting them. In addition to all that, one should be gentle and ready to listen, apologetic, hold yourself responsible for your actions; be strong and remember the best part of your qualities, be calm and truthful. All these factors will help substantially in preventing dissolution. In conclusion, if the other partner is determined to break up, do not try forcing things out by holding them back. Allow them distance and space (Perlman & Vangelisti 867) Works Cited Perlman, D., & Vangelisti, A. (2006). The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. 914 pages Read More