Parental Monitoring and Child Behaviour - Research Paper Example

Parental Monitoring and Child Behaviour Children undergo different developmental stages like; Social, Physical, Intellectual, Creative Emotional etc. Parents have the most important role in the development of all these faculties. These stages of development can make or break a child and hence parents need to take extreme care while nurturing their children. Emotional development is one of the critical developmental stages which determine the future personality and character development of a child and hence the parents need to take extreme care during the different stages of development of their children. Self-awareness and self-confidence are the parts of emotional developments which can be controlled by the parents. At the same time overprotection can cause damages also to the children. It sends a wrong message to the children that they are incapable of doing something independently. For example, some parents do not allow their children to walking to school alone or riding bicycles in the streets. Some parents even insist webcams in day care centers and also they are ready to provide cellphones to their elementary school children. All these modes of overprotection may increase the risk taking attitudes of the children as they were denied the opportunity to learn from the surroundings independently. This paper analyses the risk taking behaviors of children and its relation with the overprotection strategies adopted by the parents. Risk taking behavior of children and overprotective parents If we were to take a city like San Francisco, and compare two 17-year-old girls, one from the baby boom generation of the 1960s and 1970s, another, her daughter growing up today, we would find that the girl growing up now is much safer, much better behaved, and much more responsible than her mother. The daughter is 50% less likely to be murdered, 60% less likely to be in an accident causing her death, 75% less likely to commit suicide, 55% less likely to become a mother herself, 60% less likely to commit murder, and 40% less likely to be arrested for property crimes (Ungar, 2009, p.263) Current parents are not much bothered about the protection of their children. They are more interested in their profession rather than nurturing of their children. The above fact may not be so pleasing when we hear it. But when we analyze it more deeply, it can be understood that the risk taking behaviors of the children in the 1970’s or 80’s were more than the risk taking behaviors of the children of current era. This is because of the fact that the children of the 70’s and 80’s were overprotected by their parents. Ungar, (2009) has mentioned so many statistics from United States in order to justify the above claim. Quoting US data gathered by Child trends (2007), he has pointed out that the percentage of sexually active students decreased from 1991 to the present date. Moreover, child violence and other aspects of teenage delinquency were also reported less during this period (Ungar, 2009, 263). All these statistics point towards the fact that children with less protection from parents develop strong socially acceptable personalities compared to the children who were nurtured by the overprotective parents. “Child development has different dimensions, orderly pattern and the results of different stages of development lead to more efficient way of functioning. There are interactions between the child and the different contexts in which it grow up” (Aldgate et al, 2006, p. 20). For example, the sense of self development begins at around 4 to 6 years. It may not be rapid at the beginning stages, but acquires momentum gradually. Factors like relationships, friendships, gender, emotions, self-concept, parenting, culture, attachment etc can affect the sense of self development. If the parents restrict the opportunities to a child to grow in the company of his peers he will not develop the sense of self properly. In future he will be surprised to see the abilities of other children who have a better developed sense of self. For example, children with overprotective parents may not show enough courage in taking risks. On the other hand, he will see his colleagues or peers doing risky activities frequently. Katz (2000) has mentioned that “when children develop stronger ties with their peers in school or around the neighbourhood, they may begin to evaluate themselves differently from the way they were taught at home” (Katz, 2000). Overprotection may deny the luxury of the children to mingle with their peers. Evaluation of peers is one of the major factors which can affect the sense of self or self esteem development. If the peers recognize and accept the opinions of a child, the child will develop a healthy feeling as a valuable person. On the other hand if the peers neglect what he says, he will develop negative feeling and his sense of self development will be affected. Such experiences will destroy his self esteem and he can develop inferiority complex. The feeling of being inferior to others may force the child to engage in antisocial behaviours sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. Crenshaw (2006) has pointed out that “children who are frustrated in their efforts to develop a positive and healthy sense of self will make their mark in some, often disturbing, way. It may be necessary for the child to terrorize, bully or see people frightened, worried, crying, at their wits' end” (Crenshaw PhD, 2006). Children do not like many restrictions upon them either from the family or from the society. They are entirely new entities to this world and may possess the thirst for knowing more about this world. Parents should allow them to do so in maximum possible ways so that they should never feel that somebody obstructing them in their progress to become independent persons. Freedom from every barrier is one of the basic needs every child likes to possess. Dowling (2005) has pointed out that “being acknowledged and affirmed by important persons is a basic need for the children to gain confidence and inner strengths” (Dowling, 2005, p.12). In short, overprotection of parents may harm the future of the children in many ways and hence it should be avoided. References 1. Aldgate, J. Jones, D. Rose, W. and C. Jeffery (2006) The Developing World of the Child, London: Jessica Kingsley.2006. 2. Crenshaw D.A PhD. (2006). Development of a Healthy Sense of Self in Children Retrieved from http://searchwarp.com/swa39860.htm 3. Dowling, M. (2005). Young Children’s Personal, Social and Emotional Development, 2nd Edition, London: Paul Chapman Publishing 4. Katz L. (2000). How Can We Strengthen Children's Self-Esteem?, Retrieved from http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content2/strengthen_children_self.html 5. Ungar, M. (2009). Overprotective Parenting: Helping Parents Provide Children the Right Amount of Risk and Responsibility. Routledge. The American Journal of Family Therapy. 37:258–271, 2009. ISSN: 0192-6187 print / 1521-0383 online. DOI: 10.1080/01926180802534247. Read More