Different Events that May have Taken Place in an Abusers Earlier Life to Initiate the Abuse - Case Study Example

Different events that may have taken place in an abusers earlier life to initiate the abuse. Introduction Abuse is a general term which can be used with many things. The improper usage of anything physical, mental, verbal can come under the label abuse. The abuser may use physical assault, mental torture or verbal torture upon the victim. In most of the times the amount of psychological pain inflicted by the abuser exceeds the physical pain. Even though in most cases the victim will be women compared to men, the role of women also cannot be overlooked. The major types of abuse are: domestic abuse, physical and sexual abuse of a child or an adult, substance abuse, elderly abuse, and emotional abuse etc. In any case the abuser tries to establish his/her dominance over the victim. An abuser may not start his abusive actions over a night. There may be different events in an abuser’s life which might have forced him to engage in abusive acts. The transformation from a normal life to an abusive life may occur gradually, knowingly or unknowingly. Family, social and cultural environment, heredity and economical factors and psychological factors can contribute to the abusive act of a person. It is interesting to analyze the reasons for one becoming an abuser and also the characteristics of an abuser. Events that may have taken place in an abusers earlier life There are lots of reasons attached with the abuser’s behavior. These reasons can be physical as well as psychological. Moreover these reasons can have deep roots even from the childhood like the family and social environment the abuser brought up. A person will never become an abuser in a short time period. Even the childhood experiences can be attributed to the abusive behavior of a person. For example, some children might have witnessed either or both of their parent’s engagement in illegal relationships. They may develop their personality based on such experiences. They will think that such relationships are normal and no need to refrain from such things. On the other hand in some cases the children may be victimized by sexual abuse by the elders and hence such children will develop his life philosophy based on that and can engage in same sort of activities while he grown up. “Statistics involving men in New Jersey prisons convicted of sexual abuse, found that over 95% of the men, were in fact abused themselves.” (Sexual Abuse / Trauma) “Young Muslim girls in Toronto schools are being targeted for sexual assaults because attackers consider them less likely to report the incidents to authorities” (Marlow) Another reason for abuse may be the cultural reasons. For example, dating is a common thing in western culture. Even from the school life onwards children start their dating activities. These dating will often resulted in sexual relationships at an immature age. The western society does not see much harm in such relationships. For them sexual relationship is a psychological need and no need to suppress such things. These westerners while traveling or touring other countries like India, they may be often targeted by the locals for sexual abuse in beaches like public places. The knowledge about western culture and their dress codes at beaches often provoke the local youths and they will try to abuse the foreign visitors sexually. So culture plays a vital role in sexual abuse. “There must be 100 studies showing a genetic basis for abusive personalities and for many of the disorders” (WebMD Feature) Heredity is another reason for a person’s high involvement in abusive actions. For example, parents with of them have abusive character can have children of the same character. Most of the traits or behavioral characteristics of the parents will be transferred to the offspring through genes and hence the children unknowingly develop such abusive behaviors even in a healthy environment. Some people quiet often says that they were engaged in an abusive action unknowingly. Such actions have roots in their heredity rather than anything else. “Brothers and sisters will sometimes experiment, exploring sexuality. In alcoholic families where boundaries and roles aren’t clear it’s much more likely to see brothers and sisters who have experimented.” (Sexual Abuse / Trauma) Environment also can play a role of its own in contributing for the abusive behaviour of a person. For example, most of the rape cases are happening because of the suitable environment created knowingly or unknowingly. A person who is decent in the society can become an animal if he gets proper environment as seen in many cases of children’s sexual abuse by the elders. “If a child is raised in an abusive environment, they are more likely to have tolerance of that behaviour than someone who hasn’t. Children that were raised to believe in domestic violence as a means of resolution, they will learn that domestic violence is a means of resolution in general. Children in violent households are equally more likely to become abusers and to allow them to become abused” (Domestic Violence) Family plays a vital role in the making of children into a good citizen. Children in their majority of time spend with the family and hence they will closely follow the incidents happening in the family. They will learn and try to imitate many things from their parents in their future life also. The rights and wrong or the good and evil concepts often developed in the minds of the children from the family. The rights of their parents will mostly the rights of the children also. So any abusive behaviour exhibited by either of the parents will have definite influence in the life of their children also. Domestic abuse can be another reason which resulted in the abusive behaviours of the person. “Domestic abuse is a term used to describe abuse by family members or intimate partners such as a spouse, ex-spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, or date Domestic abuse can take many forms, but involves using intimidation and threats or violent behaviours to gain power and control over another person” (Welcome to Chapter 1 of the Verbal Abuse Tutorial!) Domestic abuse can happen within all ages, communities and financial levels. Domestic violence can take different abusive forms such as verbal, psychological, spiritual, economical etc. Verbal abuse is a deliberate act most of the abusers opted for hiding their abusive behavior. They wanted to dominate their partner in order to keep their secrets intact. Suppose a husband has an illegal relationship with another lady. Mostly such husbands will try to threaten their wives when they ask about such illegal relationships. Moreover they will try to justify their actions citing various defects of the wife. The domestic abusers thus try to attain a verbal dominance over others concerned. The psychological reason which may the abusers often put forward is that they are neglected by their partner. They will quiet often argue that their abusive behavior is because of the lack of love and care they received from their family or opposite sex. Broken family structure often resulted in abusive behaviors either by the husband or the wife. A husband who suspects his wife for illegal relationship may often try to take revenge by establishing relationship with another lady which will create more problems in the family. Spiritual or religious abuse is another form of domestic abuse. The religious principles will be misinterpreted in favor of some genders or groups in order to engage in abusive activities. For example, in Muslim community the male can have more than one wife while a wife never cans more than one husband at a time. It is easy for a Muslim male to divorce his wife compared to other religions. “Islamic law of divorce is based on practical considerations. The process of separation is basically a matter of husband and wife. However, when conflict arises, attempts should be made for reconciliation. It has not made judicial process obligatory in divorce for reasons explained earlier. The intervention of court has nowhere reduced the number of divorce. Judicial process in Islam is the last resort in so far as divorce is concerned. Islamic law on divorce if followed in true spirit will enhance the dignity of man and woman, reduce conflict and ensure justice.” (Islamic law regarding divorce) But in practice the essence of these laws will be sacrificed for the advantages of men alone. The women in Islamic community never get much support from their religion as far divorce or domestic abuse is concerned. Economical problems or imbalances often resulted in domestic violence or abuse. In most of the family both the husband and the wife are engaged in some kind of salaried works. In some cases only one of them may have any employment. In any case, the economical dominance of one over other may often results in conflicts and family problems. Those who have more economic resources will try to dominate the other citing different reasons. For example, a working father may cite his work tensions in order to refrain from the family matters related to their children. They will try to put all the family management responsibilities up on the other because of their workloads at their work places. This type of family management may often results in domestic abuse. Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality An abusive personality will exhibit many peculiarities like Jealousy, Controlling Behaviour, Quick Involvement, Unrealistic Expectations, Isolation, Blame-shifting for Problems, Blame-shifting for Feelings, Hypersensitivity, Cruelty to Animals, Cruelty to Children, Playful use of Force in Sex, Rigid Gender Roles, Verbal Abuse, Breaking or Striking Objects, Any Force during an Argument (Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality) Jealousy is a defence mechanism mostly the abusers adopt. They will accuse others of illegal relationships and other things for which the accused may be innocent. The abusers are trying to convince others that they are free from any such malfunctions and they will pretend themselves as angels. Controlling behaviour is a phenomenon in which the abusers always question others about their whereabouts and conversation with others. They will find faults in all the actions of others in an attempt to hide their abusive behaviour. Abusers often involve with others to whom they want to abuse, quickly. The victim will always be cheated by the convincing words and behaviours of the abuser. The abuser always wants others to be perfect rather than them. They will keep unrealistic views about others and they will ask others to behave in an ideal manner. Another way of abusers behaviour is to isolate others connected to him/her from the society. The abuser always believes that his secret engagements will come to other’s notice only through the communication between different people of the society. The blames will always shift to the innocent people by the abuser in order to escape from criticism. Most of the abusers are actually cowards who have low self esteem and hypersensitivity. They will be agitated for even small things and will never accept their failures or crimes. Other peculiar characteristics of abusers are that sometimes they will behave cruelly towards animals or children. When they feel that they are going to caught with evidences to prove their abusive behaviour, the outbursts from them often will be towards the innocent children or animals. They will release their anger energy through such acts. Moreover in their sexual behaviour towards their partner they will behave indifferently also. They will force the partner to engage in unnatural acts during sex. Moreover the abusers often feel that they have some kinds of privileges over their partner and it is the duty of the partner to assist him/her. The abusers quiet often break or strike the objects they are dealing with if they feel that their illegal connections were revealed or going to reveal. They will engage in verbal abuse with the partners in order to escape from the scenario. Some male abusers quiet often tell his female lover that he had not loved any female so far and some special characters of her attracted him towards her. Such words are often used to convince the female counterpart for abusing them sexually. Conclusions Abusing is a universal phenomenon in which one person illegally establishes relationship with others. Domestic abuse, physical and sexual abuse of a child or an adult, substance abuse, elderly abuse, and emotional abuse etc are some of the common methods of abuse. Factors like, broken family atmosphere, heredity, culture, social genetic and environmental problems can make a person abusive in nature. Physical and psychological reasons can also contribute heavily to the abusive nature. Abusers often exhibit defense mechanism like Jealousy, Controlling Behaviour, Quick Involvement, Unrealistic Expectations, Isolation, Blame-shifting for Problems, Blame-shifting for Feelings, Hypersensitivity, Cruelty to Animals, Cruelty to Children, Playful use of Force in Sex, Rigid Gender Roles, Verbal Abuse, Breaking or Striking Objects, etc to convince others about their innocence. In short most of the abusers will never accept their crime and will try to put the blame on other innocent family members. Somehow if they are caught with evidence then also they will blame others for their peculiar behaviour rather than accepting the crime. Works Cited 1. Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality, Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm 2. Welcome to Chapter 1 of the Verbal Abuse Tutorial, Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.youareatarget.com/define.html 3. Domestic Violence and Abuse, Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm 4. Marlow Iain, Cultural Beliefs May Spur Sex Attacks, Official Says, Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.thestar.com/article/231401 5. WebMD Feature, Sins of the Father- Is Abuse Hereditary? Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51050 6. Sexual Abuse / Trauma, Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/sexual_abuse.htm 7. Islamic Law Regarding Divorce, Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.witness-pioneer.org/vil/Books/SH_SL/islamic_law_regarding_divorce.htm 8. Domestic Violence, Retrieved on May 2, 2009 from http://www.brokenspirits.com/information/domestic_violence.asp Read More