Perspectives on Friendship - Essay Example

Perspectives on Friendship They say a brother may not always be a friend but a friend will always be a brother; I am profoundly convinced that there is so much sense in this assertion, especially with respect to my relationship with my best friend, Mohammed. Mohammed is aged 17 and I am 19 years old now but, despite our 2 years age difference, we get along so well like perfect twins; we both live in Qatar and speak Arabic as our first language. Mohammed and I have practically grown together and I can hardly remember any time of my childhood that we were ever separated from each other, since my family moved into their neighbourhood when I was seven years old. When I first met Mohammed, he was like the little brother I never had and so it was really easy for us to connect and become friends; Mohammed and I have stuck together ever since and our friendship has strengthened like some kind of brotherhood bond that cannot be severed. As I look back at our history, I realize that Mohammed is probably the only person that really understands me more than myself, especially because he has a profound sense of awareness and genuine interest in people, beyond the superficial reality. Throughout our childhood, Mohammed and I have made many fond memories that I still cherish up to now; moreover, we have also gone through a lot of challenging situations and all these experiences have put our friendship to great test but we triumphed. Just like there are many different kinds of friends, friends play many different functions in individuals’ lives; generally, friendships are very important because they make life enjoyable and worthwhile for everyone all the time. Nevertheless, friends can also be annoying sometimes, and this always strains relationships by provoking conflicts that may potentially weaken and even choke friendships altogether. However, there are many ups and downs in life, which make it quite unbearable without friends, no matter how annoying they may be; perhaps this explains why people would always feel a profound urge to make friends and to socialize with peers (Ager 28). Personally I enjoy my friendship with Mohammed because we do a lot of fun activities together, which relieve me from feelings of boredom and stress sometimes. Most importantly, my friendship with Mohammed has been particularly helpful to both of us, as a source of strength and motivation, especially whenever we were compelled with difficult situations that we could not handle independently. In other words, Mohammed has been the typical friend that stuck with me throughout my life even when I was in need of help, which he is always glad to provide unconditionally. Many friendships do not last very long because some individuals may not be willing to go the whole mile, to help their friends when they are in need. Nevertheless, my friendship with Mohammed has stood the test of time and it continues to become even stronger with time, particularly because both of us are genuinely concerned with each other’s welfare and wellbeing. One significant memory I am fond of in my childhood is how Mohammed and I managed to effectively defend ourselves from a group of bullies in our neighbourhood. On one occasion, Mohammed and I were playing in the yard when we were suddenly attacked by a group of three boys who were members of a gang in school. They took our football and even threatened to beat us if we did not cooperate with them; I remember how Mohammed was scared when I confronted the three boys to leave us alone. The boys were very incensed that I had even dared to argue with them and vowed to make life very difficult for both of us but that did not scare me even an inch. I was firm in my resolve to fight back and resist any challenge they would put us to, thus, I did not move even an inch when one of the older boys advanced and looked me straight in the eye with his blood-shot piercing eyes. I demanded to have our football back and the other boys kept laughing at how foolish I was to even suppose that I could stand any chance against them; they kept teasing and making fun of us but we did not cry or run away. When they noticed that we had actually stood our ground and we were not scared of them, they gave up and retreated, leaving us alone, probably very disappointed that they had been challenged. Apart from that, Mohammed and I have also found ourselves in trouble many times, especially with law enforcement officers for petty offenses like going to parties as minors with fake IDs and driving without licences. On many occasions, our parents have been informed of our offenses and we have subsequently been grounded for days; on my eighteenth birthday, for instance, Mohammed and I were cruising in my father’s car when traffic officers caught up with me for over-speeding. Fortunately for us, my father was not very angry with me for taking his car and nearly crushing it by over-speeding but he gave us a comprehensive lecture on careful driving. He told us to be very careful on the road if we ever want to borrow his car again in future; I apologized and told him I would never be reckless ever again. Since our parents were informed, Mohammed and I were both grounded for the entire week, even though it was my birthday week; nevertheless, we learnt our lesson and never repeated the mistake again. Looking back at my actions, I realize I was very naïve to put my life and my friend’s life in danger like that and, I do not think I would have been able to live with the consequences if anything tragic would have befallen us on that day. Nevertheless, I guess it was a fundamental lesson that we both had to learn, to become responsible young adults that are able to take care of ourselves without adult supervision. The concept of friendship differs significantly between cultures; for instance, while both the American and the Arab cultures view a friend as someone whose company is valued and appreciated by another, the concepts of friendship in these two cultures differ in salient aspects. For instance, while the focus of the American concept of friendship is primarily on the company of friends as opposed to some of the benefits that the friendship may offer, the Arab culture views friendship as relationships of mutual benefit first before anything else (“The Arab Concept of Friendship”). For that matter, the benefits, favours, or help that one can get from a relationship are very essential for friendships to thrive; most significantly, positive verbal responses to requests by friends go a long way in cementing friendships even if the requests cannot be fulfilled. Contrariwise, the American culture values actions more than verbal promises, which implies that an American is more likely to be more forthright in declining a request by a friend if they thought they could not fulfil it (“The Arab Concept of Friendship”), thus their friendship is viewed as merely superficial (Fish). My friendship with Mohammed has been strengthened primarily because we are always helping each other out whenever any one of us is in need; doing favours for each other strengthens our friendship because then we are always in each other’s debt. Doing favours for each other also implies that our friendship is bound by profound loyalty and affection to each other, unlike in the west where it would be misconstrued as an inappropriate gesture for people of the same gender to express deep affection for each other. The French concept of friendship also differs significantly from the American one, but is perhaps closely related to the Arab concept of friendship since the French take their friendships very seriously, just like the Arabs do. It is not easy to make friends within the French culture, but once you make one, they are known to commit fully to the bond of friendship and to devote all their attention to maintaining the friendship (Bergen). In the French culture, friendship goes beyond things like common interests as the French may simply be happy to hang out with friends and to talk about things that they may or could do, even if they never get to doing them eventually. Friendships are an integral part of the French culture since friends are obligated to devote all their hearts to friendships from the beginning and they cannot simply opt out of relationships for convenience sake. Friends have obligations which they must fulfil, and this includes doing favours for each other irrespective of individual circumstances, just like in the Arab culture. This aspect of the French culture makes friendships long-lasting among the French, especially because individuals only make friendships that they are interested in maintaining and will do whatever it takes to sustain their relationships (Bergen). Unlike the French culture, the American culture seems to encourage superficial relationships whereby individuals can easily be friends without any kind of emotional investment or mutual obligations to one another. Works Cited Ager, Joel. Perspectives on friendship. The International Journal of Sociology and Social Policy, 18.1 (1998): 27-40. Bergen, Randee. “Friendship in France”. The Daily Sentinel. 2015. Web. 5th Nov. 2015. “The Arab Concept of Friendship”. EchoDepiction. 2010. Web. 5th Nov. 2015. Fish, Jefferson. “Are American Friendships Superficial? Why do many immigrants consider American friendships superficial?” Psychology Today. 2010. Web. 5th Nov. 2015. Read More